I wonder if the presenters get really bored..

You know how you wake up in the morning and realise that you have a work day in front of you that is going to be no pleasure at all, well I often wonder what happens before the presenters go on air to present something that they find really boring or are simply sick of talking about. Do they sit in the dressing room psyching themselves up do you think?

For example, if I had to present a craft hour or enthuse about that Diet Chef stuff I would be soooo in trouble. Not to mention the electronic hours with back-ups and hard drives and mega pixels and 3 bliddy D.

How does someone like Pipa or Alison Keenan manage to seem sincere about Michele Hope fashions which are clearly not their style at all. The men get an even worse deal (except for Charlie) because they are stuck with DIY, Electronics with a bit of a stint in the kitchen now and then. At least they get fed!

Imagine how tedious it must be to present your 500th hour of Diremoneek and have to talk in an interesting manner about a pair of stud earrings that are just like every other pair of stud earrings in their warehouse.

Imagine having to listen to Liz Earle explaining time and time again about Cleanse and Polish (which I love) and skin boosting skin tonic.

Or an hour of Lock 'n' Lock!

How does a normal human being put up with that sanctimonious Kirks Folly woman and her glitter blowing.

I would love to be a fly on the wall at the annual presenters pie and pea supper and hear what they really have to say about some of the lines they sell. Those "hand painted" christmas musical trinket boxes for example. Or the more gaudy Quacker Factory garments.

I can just see them turning up at the studio of a morning.......

Debbie Flint "right, what I have I got today??? Oh great, a sonic toothbrush with no less than four replacement heads"

Pipa Gordon "think yourself lucky Debs, I have to sit on a stool wearing a puce tee shirt encrusted with sparkles and trimmed with fluff which is ten sizes to big for me and I have to blow on a lipstick stained quacky thing eveytime somebody calls in. Or not.

Julia Roberts "and here's me, with my dancers calves and incredibly high instep trying to seem interested when Dawn Bibby is talking about stamping and die cutting and layering and tea bagging."

Charlie Brook "that's nothing. If I have to do a slow reveal again I am going to get so cross!!!"

Glenn Campbell "think of me, a well know fashion story expert who once had his own shop, having to pretend to love these tatty, crimpalene garments that couldn't be fashion forward in a million years even if worn with a trouser or a little pump or some crisp white city shorts."

Jill Franks "oh gosh, what is a girly girl doing presenting a DIY hour? I LOVE THIS TOOL BAG do they have it in pink"

any more suggestions??

Just the thought of receiving that large pay packet for spouting nonscence for a few hours would get me out of bed with a smile and a skip. Although it would have to be large to sit with Ms Earle gushing on about Spit 'n' Polish for the zillionith hour...

How about:

Anne Dawson (said in her accent) , "ooh grrrate a Deckleeorr shau, wondur if a cannie blag more freebies frum Feeowner?"
or
"Fandabidozee, an Elemis day, more freebies...oh... I'm not prrreeesenting any uthur shau tadday except Ronnie Nicole klingon frock weeering a size small! och nooo"


Craig Rowe "Not again, why have I always got Northern Nights?, I have repetitive strain injury from stroking sheets! Time to call Injury Lawers for You"

:sun:

Give JR craft just to shake things up a bit...

Dear old Julian Ballantyne 'Oh, arseburgers, not those Pink Flamingo things again...' :grin:

well done you lot, we do have some right smart "arseburgers" on this forum don't we! Sadly I'm not one of them but those that are do give the rest of us some good laughs..thank you!:clapping:

I think that's what's wrong with Simon Biagi (people have said he looks ill & thin & seems insincere). To me who looks like a man who has given up on his dreams (I read somewhere he wanted to make documentaries) & is just spouting the spiel to support his family. He may be bringing home the bacon but he looks like a man who has lost his self respect.

Get out Simon & follow your dream!!

I have often wondered about the boredom factor, well I get bored watching it and I reckon if I had to fake admiration and enthusiam for some of the tat they hawk I just could not do it without laughing or vomiting (not at the same time unless it was Quacker). Maybe they just want to say "oh for f@@ks sake you sad fools with more money than taste just buy this ****** tat, I've got a holiday home\handbag habit to support and am running short of cash to fill my spare bathrooms with Elemis £40 a pop bath foam, so cough up NOW"

Almerinda said:

Dawn Bibby talking about tea bagging.

Click to expand...

now THAT would be interesting!!!! :grin:

"You mean I've got to literally spout actual cowpat about this actual gloop you apply to the actual face area, literally aqain, well, I mean, I can't actually think of any more actual celebrities who literally use this actual presteejus product in the very pewer meejum, which will last you for actual yurs, literally, unless I could actually mention that Frank actual Bough uses it for rope burns, literally, do you think that would impress the actual viewers, literally?"

"...Um, er, well, I er seem to be um er, whoops, doing the um Kim & er Co TSV erm tomorrow, oh, no, it's not tomorrow, it's um, what is it? Yesterday? Oh, er, um, was it the er red camisole in black with the um er in-built nylon lacy, oh, was it? The blackish yellowish, well, I suppose you'd call it burgundy, sparklette sailor flares complete with the er um crimplene-powered musical er thingy that plays er All the Nice Girls Love A Sailor every um 20 minutes. Whoops, oh, my coffee's spilt all over that Michelle Basso faux nylon um velcro hoody ooops, er, um..."

"Well, I think it's lovely wovely that I get to do so many glammy wammy things, and this necklace is so pretty witty it makes me feel like a teeny weeny girl playing with mummy wummy's jewellery, which I used to do in Rochdale, I mean Surbiton, yessy wessy, I remember it well."

"Well, I can't do this, I mean, my old gran used to say, and my mum, bless her, just before I went to watch United, and did I mention that my gran used to say..."

"Cough, wheeze, This is so girly, of course, for you, of course, my lovely, and I'm such a wheeze, cough girly girl that I love Rudyard Kipling bags in stimulated leather, especially when I'm cough wheeze, gasp, wearing that gorgeous stimulated pink diamond that Larry wheeze, cough got for me, and I am just loving the gasp, cough, wheeze Elemis Milk Bath in this gorgeous girly bottle; Larry bought me 4 to just cough keep on the bathroom shelf cos it wheeze cough looks so girly, but you know what? I just wish it was in pink cos I'm just so girly. Oooo, wheeze, gasp, cough, is that TSV stimulated fur?"

"...And did you hear about yesterday? Well, naturally, I was wearing the small, and the item numbah came up wrong, and I thought, whatevah, and I looked at Tanyah who was wearing the extra large, did I mention that I was wearing the small? And I thought, if only my Sophie, awww, bless, was in charge of production, the item numbah wouldn't have been wrong. Then, on top of all that, the item colah was completely wrong too, and I said, take a little lurk at this, cos I'll be quite honest with you, that's not the numbah or colah I was thinking of, but whatevah. So, anyway, the upshot of it was that I was wearing the small."

"And.....so....then....I....was....arrested....because....apparently....you....can't....fondle...charlie....bears....in...public....without....special....permission....from....the...Royal...Commission....so....then.....they.....took......me....to....the....station.....and.....asked....my...name....and....address.....and...place....of....work....and...........when....I...was.....................answering.....they.....all....went....off....and.....watched....the Godfather......Trilogy.....and......when....they....came....back.....three.....days....later....I....was....adjusting.....my spanx.....and.....had....just....got....to....."the.....number....one...shopping......channel..." when....someone.....said....take....a....look.....at...this...."

"Well, if i have to present this, it's going to make me burp, and you know once that happens I'll start vomiting, and then I'll be breaking wind all over the place, and I'll have to run off set and tweet about it..."

"You mean I've got to literally spout actual cowpat about this actual gloop you apply to the actual face area, literally aqain, well, I mean, I can't actually think of any more actual celebrities who literally use this actual presteejus product in the very pewer meejum, which will last you for actual yurs, literally, unless I could actually mention that Frank actual Bough uses it for rope burns, literally, do you think that would impress the actual viewers, literally?"

"...Um, er, well, I er seem to be um er, whoops, doing the um Kim & er Co TSV erm tomorrow, oh, no, it's not tomorrow, it's um, what is it? Yesterday? Oh, er, um, was it the er red camisole in black with the um er in-built nylon lacy, oh, was it? The blackish yellowish, well, I suppose you'd call it burgundy, sparklette sailor flares complete with the er um crimplene-powered musical er thingy that plays er All the Nice Girls Love A Sailor every um 20 minutes. Whoops, oh, my coffee's spilt all over that Michelle Basso faux nylon um velcro hoody ooops, er, um..."

"Well, I think it's lovely wovely that I get to do so many glammy wammy things, and this necklace is so pretty witty it makes me feel like a teeny weeny girl playing with mummy wummy's jewellery, which I used to do in Rochdale, I mean Surbiton, yessy wessy, I remember it well."

"Well, I can't do this, I mean, my old gran used to say, and my mum, bless her, just before I went to watch United, and did I mention that my gran used to say..."

"Cough, wheeze, This is so girly, of course, for you, of course, my lovely, and I'm such a wheeze, cough girly girl that I love Rudyard Kipling bags in stimulated leather, especially when I'm cough wheeze, gasp, wearing that gorgeous stimulated pink diamond that Larry wheeze, cough got for me, and I am just loving the gasp, cough, wheeze Elemis Milk Bath in this gorgeous girly bottle; Larry bought me 4 to just cough keep on the bathroom shelf cos it wheeze cough looks so girly, but you know what? I just wish it was in pink cos I'm just so girly. Oooo, wheeze, gasp, cough, is that TSV stimulated fur?"

"...And did you hear about yesterday? Well, naturally, I was wearing the small, and the item numbah came up wrong, and I thought, whatevah, and I looked at Tanyah who was wearing the extra large, did I mention that I was wearing the small? And I thought, if only my Sophie, awww, bless, was in charge of production, the item numbah wouldn't have been wrong. Then, on top of all that, the item colah was completely wrong too, and I said, take a little lurk at this, cos I'll be quite honest with you, that's not the numbah or colah I was thinking of, but whatevah. So, anyway, the upshot of it was that I was wearing the small."

"And.....so....then....I....was....arrested....because....apparently....you....can't....fondle...charlie....bears....in...public....without....special....permission....from....the...Royal...Commission....so....then.....they.....took......me....to....the....station.....and.....asked....my...name....and....address.....and...place....of....work....and...........when....I...was.....................answering.....they.....all....went....off....and.....watched....the Godfather......Trilogy.....and......when....they....came....back.....three.....days....later....I....was....adjusting.....my spanx.....and.....had....just....got....to....."the.....number....one...shopping......channel..." when....someone.....said....take....a....look.....at...this...."

"Well, if i have to present this, it's going to make me burp, and you know once that happens I'll start vomiting, and then I'll be breaking wind all over the place, and I'll have to run off set and tweet about it..."

You are so naughty .... please don't ever stop.

And very clever. I could never think that all up :clapping::clapping::clapping:

An non QVC shopper would wonder what on earth is that all about yet everyone one of those is clearly recognisable without the names!!

Brilliant iclaudipuss! :clapping:

Almerinda said:

You know how you wake up in the morning and realise that you have a work day in front of you that is going to be no pleasure at all, well I often wonder what happens before the presenters go on air to present something that they find really boring or are simply sick of talking about. Do they sit in the dressing room psyching themselves up do you think?

For example, if I had to present a craft hour or enthuse about that Diet Chef stuff I would be soooo in trouble. Not to mention the electronic hours with back-ups and hard drives and mega pixels and 3 bliddy D.

How does someone like Pipa or Alison Keenan manage to seem sincere about Michele Hope fashions which are clearly not their style at all. The men get an even worse deal (except for Charlie) because they are stuck with DIY, Electronics with a bit of a stint in the kitchen now and then. At least they get fed!

Imagine how tedious it must be to present your 500th hour of Diremoneek and have to talk in an interesting manner about a pair of stud earrings that are just like every other pair of stud earrings in their warehouse.

Imagine having to listen to Liz Earle explaining time and time again about Cleanse and Polish (which I love) and skin boosting skin tonic.

Or an hour of Lock 'n' Lock!

How does a normal human being put up with that sanctimonious Kirks Folly woman and her glitter blowing.

I would love to be a fly on the wall at the annual presenters pie and pea supper and hear what they really have to say about some of the lines they sell. Those "hand painted" christmas musical trinket boxes for example. Or the more gaudy Quacker Factory garments.

I can just see them turning up at the studio of a morning.......

Debbie Flint "right, what I have I got today??? Oh great, a sonic toothbrush with no less than four replacement heads"

Pipa Gordon "think yourself lucky Debs, I have to sit on a stool wearing a puce tee shirt encrusted with sparkles and trimmed with fluff which is ten sizes to big for me and I have to blow on a lipstick stained quacky thing eveytime somebody calls in. Or not.

Julia Roberts "and here's me, with my dancers calves and incredibly high instep trying to seem interested when Dawn Bibby is talking about stamping and die cutting and layering and tea bagging."

Charlie Brook "that's nothing. If I have to do a slow reveal again I am going to get so cross!!!"

Glenn Campbell "think of me, a well know fashion story expert who once had his own shop, having to pretend to love these tatty, crimpalene garments that couldn't be fashion forward in a million years even if worn with a trouser or a little pump or some crisp white city shorts."

Jill Franks "oh gosh, what is a girly girl doing presenting a DIY hour? I LOVE THIS TOOL BAG do they have it in pink"

any more suggestions??

Click to expand...

A couple lines of coke usually sorts them right out!:mysmilie_505::mysmilie_11:

some of you guys should be script writing !!!!!

fwend said:

some of you guys should be script writing !!!!!

Click to expand...

Guilty of that already, fwend. x

iclaudipuss said:

Guilty of that already, fwend. x

Click to expand...

No, fwend's talking about script writing.

:tongue:

klarionthewitchboy said:

No, fwend's talking about script writing.

:tongue:

Click to expand...

You're a cheeky Zsa Zsa, dahlink, if ever zere was von.

iclaudipuss said:

You're a cheeky Zsa Zsa, dahlink, if ever zere was von.

Click to expand...

Von does von's best. :devil: