Bid Worry Dolls - The dolls made for that certain viewer. Which doll are you?

We have had Peter Simon doll, Worry Angels and Buddahs maybe we need a set of bid presenter dolls with a meaning for example:

Lisa Brash doll - quiet, laid back for the virgin woman who is waiting for the right man to come along... Well alright for the woman who spreads them easier than butter in the sun and spends more time horizontal than vertical (special feature: expanding legs that need a hook to keep them together and a handy hole for...)

James Russell doll - sleak, slick and loved by the ladies for the woman who can only dream of having the real thing and this is her best substitute. (special feature: cheesy grin, slick hair and a Tanzanite in it's hand).

Mark Ryes doll - for those people who have no life, have unrealistic ambitions for a partner and think they are loved by everyone when in fact people sneer and laugh at your every move. (Special feature: comes with a handy Twitter screen in the stomach so you can tell everyone your boring life story all day).


I will leave the rest of you to come up with more

Sally Jaxx doll: small and powerfully loud - doubles as a foghorn, a car alarm or a sonic sandblaster.

Chris Rhodes doll: for that lonely woman waiting for Mr Right (or Mr Right Now) *batteries not included.

Mike Mason Doll: When you touch a different part of it's body it emits a, "Yo sexy mumma!", "Ave it!", "You mutant" and other Mason catchphrases.

Guy Keane Doll: When you give it a shake (to wake it up) it tuts, calls the viewers idiots and is generally grumpy and sarcastic.

Charlie McArdle doll: just like the real thing! You can make him walk, talk and sing! You just can't colour his hair (apparently). Clothes removable by even the shakiest of hands (OK, steve? :wink: )

Mark Ryes digipet: extremely needy and high-maintenance: demands attention 24 hours a day. Age range: up to 30 years. Comes with free Twitter connection.

Marina Berry Inaction Figure: no articulation. Just sits there. Also comes in tanzanite finish variant with built-in omelette maker.

HoodedClaw said:

Charlie McArdle doll: just like the real thing! You can make him walk, talk and sing! You just can't colour his hair (apparently). Clothes removable by even the shakiest of hands (OK, steve? :wink: )

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How do you know I have shaky hands (which I do) you spying on me you hacked my webcam?

steveh31 said:

How do you know I have shaky hands (which I do) you spying on me you hacked my webcam?

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I just assumed your hands would be VERY shaky if you got your hands on a stiff 12" of Mr McArdle :wink:

peter simon doll - press the stomach for a long winded ramble and phrases such as cost more to us than you

loubylou said:

peter simon doll - press the stomach for a long winded ramble and phrases such as cost more to us than you

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Bet you'd do more than just "press the stomach" :smirk:

Can you imagine the multiple health issues a Peter Simon doll would have worms, been bitten, bad back, bad eyes, incontenance, sweats, etc. Be more like a game of operation than a doll.

I DO NOT LIKE PETER SIMON! lol

Temper Temper lol someone is protesting too much me thinks.:mysmilie_12:

Peter Simon doll: Comes dressed in a well-worn suit, with very stiff but moveable arms (comes with semi-camp hand on hip pose as standard), and a pull string on the back that triggers catchphrases such as "This is a better buy to you at home", "Just buy!", and "Delicious". This product has been well-used.

Steve Macdonald doll: Looks just like an ex-IT salesman only worse. Out of the box it continues to make outrageous claims until the batteries go dead. (Special feature: Touch his body and he says "Cheeky".)

James Gardner doll: Same as Steve Macdonald except with a Scottish accent and minus the "Cheeky" feature. Batteries not included.

lou wants a life-size Peter Simon real doll.

She can dress it in Harbour Bay and 18ct gold plated "bling" and watch bid with it of an evening.

Good Luck if you get one :rock:

Steve McDonald "Hawkwind" Action Doll: It wears a pair of purple Y-fronts outside his super H hero outfit. When you look through it's eagle 'X-ray' eyes, gold plated trash and cheapo tanzanite jewellery from China is suddenly transformed into high value fashion statements from Bond Street and Hatton Gardens.

Talking Paul Becque doll: guaranteed to appeal to a lady of a certain age (NB: this product has been recalled due to sound intermittently increasing for no apparent reason)

chris rhodes doll - complete with a twiddling gavel

loubylou said:

chris rhodes doll - complete with a twiddling gavel

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Bet you'd have that broken off within SECONDS of getting your grubby little mitts on it :smirk:

Paul Becque doll: Reused from the dusty stock found in an old storecupboard at LWT of Reg Varney dolls unsold during the On The Buses viewer peak. No alterations needed hair and facial features identical.

Andy Oliver doll: When you squeeze it's stomach its says "I'm lonely I want a woman anyone wanna date me?"

Andy Hodgson doll: includes a fire blanket and a government safety report for just £1 plus p&p. - Reused from unsold Alan Partridge dolls.

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