Bid.tv 2013 new product predictions?

Tanzanite AAAAA Pentagon grade - (more madeup bolox)

Worry Angels Stonehenge Edition

Mike Mason's signed Special Edition Ocean Speaker System with Docking station- limited edition of 50,000 units. Includes laminated Bass Reflex sheet

Caroline Lyndsay 'between the sheets' z-rated Ineedpampering.com photo shoot on CD-R or via .zip file to your in-box.

Yonanas XXXtreme Edition - 'on steriods' motor can mash frozen fruit all the way down to -50oC (ideal for Russian market) with our patent titanium/tanzanite finished blades.

Mike Mason's Special Edition Burglar Alarm - deters any would-be thief with Mike's voice as alarm sounder @400dB (non-CE approved)

Tommy, Kate with a hand from Peter Simon boutique limited edition - needs no introduction

Peter Sherlock - between the sheets perfume

Christian Lars - from the brother of 'Christin' - includes 4 precious diamonds at 12, 3, 6 & 9 unlike his cheapskate brother who places diamonds only at '12'.

Gener8 Steam Cleaner Mk.2 - We have heard in the major tabloids how Peter Simon's life was saved when Nicola George steam cleaned the hospital ward when Peter was incarserated a couple of months ago... now the technicians at Gener8 have developed their ultimate edition which is powered by Swarvorski crystals (like the Starship Enterprise). Just plug in and go go go!

Nicola George 'dancing' Blu-ray Re-mastered and includes nude (laminated) poster to prevent accidents.

I need to up my medication, as I can see Bid doing these.

10 cd box set of 'Greatest Hits Of The '50's' played on the bagpipes,so that Peter Simon can tell us how much he loves it ...'how much would you pay to download one track on itunes?'

Jumbo pack of 4000 assorted rubber bands so that James Russell can say 'I could really have done with this just the other day!'

Limited edition gold disc of Rick Astley's greatest hits to take pride of place in your home.

'Neasdenite' a stunning new gemstone found only beneath just one public house in North London-but be quick,the trade are after it!

Vivitar high power microscope so that you can actually see the sterling silver earrings you bought from Bid last week.

William and Kate - new fashion designers

Phillipe Lars- Christin Lars' son launches his own range of high end watches

Personally I don't think Bid are being culturally inclusive enough. They've done worry angels and faith fairies but I feel they're missing a very cynical trick here by not including some religious symbolism.

The contentment cross for the Christian faith
The belief buddha suitable in Buddism
The hope hippopotamus for devout Hindus
The mystical merrygoround to help an upset Muslim
The jubilation jockey, a must for those following Judaism
The serenity socks for Sikhs
or if you don't follow any particular faith then they could offer a more generic enlightenment elephant!

I would like to say that this is written with humour and I absolutely do not intend to offend, upset or insult anyone so please read it in the spirit it is written xxxx

The forecast shows a huge influx of horrendous tat coming in from the East, followed by a band,well many bands of high pressure,and some all time lows!

The Tanzanite mine will be empty come spring, but fear not Bid are in discussions with the respected and long established company Russell and Jacks to produce our own version,Tanzanot, which looks exactly the same to the naked eye. Please don't confuse it with the "other channel's" inferior brand Tanzalite. Nobody will know it's not the real, thing as we aim to price it, present it, sell it as the real thing...No one will be any the wiser, not even you!

.....and clothing giant Charlotte & co, the renowned couture jeweller Green-Marks, Perfumiers to the royal family*, Whiffit & Chunder and the uber trendy label Kat P have all agreed to supply their goods exclusively to us!

merryone said:

The forecast shows a huge influx of horrendous tat coming in from the East, followed by a band,well many bands of high pressure,and some all time lows!

The Tanzanite mine will be empty come spring, but fear not Bid are in discussions with the respected and long established company Russell and Jacks to produce our own version,Tanzanot, which looks exactly the same to the naked eye. Please don't confuse it with the "other channel's" inferior brand Tanzalite. Nobody will know it's not the real, thing as we aim to price it, present it, sell it as the real thing...No one will be any the wiser, not even you!

.....and clothing giant Charlotte & co, the renowned couture jeweller Green-Marks, Perfumiers to the royal family*, Whiffit & Chunder and the uber trendy label Kat P have all agreed to supply their goods exclusively to us!

Click to expand...

One wonders if the Tanzanite mine will go bare before the Yarvik mine, the Wideboy only had 40 odd last night 'and that is it'.

Oh, how silly am I. There are still plenty on sale on the website!