Dreaming of Bid...

Ok, I need help. Last night I genuinely dreamt that I was spraying a Jean Paul Dupont oud fragrance on my wrists, but I couldn't actually smell it. I kept spraying and spraying, but it was completely odourless. One might even say oud-orless. This is not to besmirch the JPD range as I'm sure even they must smell of something, but it's a bit disturbing that I'm dreaming about Bid TV...

:mysmilie_59: Repent! God will judge you for your evil thoughts, boredshopper! Buy an glass angel or bear set and say your "Hail Bet's" and seek the Lord for forgiveness!

Greg said:

:mysmilie_59: Repent! God will judge you for your evil thoughts, boredshopper! Buy an glass angel or bear set and say your "Hail Bet's" and seek the Lord for forgiveness!

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I'm wrapped in my leopard skin throw, snail serum round my "décolletere" and clutching my worry angel as we speak!

Oh dear!! There's no hope for you!! Did a klaxon wake you or was it just your alarm clock??

boredshopper said:

Ok, I need help. Last night I genuinely dreamt that I was spraying a Jean Paul Dupont oud fragrance on my wrists, but I couldn't actually smell it. I kept spraying and spraying, but it was completely odourless. One might even say oud-orless. This is not to besmirch the JPD range as I'm sure even they must smell of something, but it's a bit disturbing that I'm dreaming about Bid TV...

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Oh dear, I'm not a doctor but the symptoms you talk of would strongly suggest you have contracted Schlockarrhoea. It's a common but highly toxic condition and can be brought on by watching too many of Peter Sherlock's sickeningly self indulgent perfume sales.

Please seek medical advice, at once.

Most days i wake and put BID on... not only do I watch it all day (no word of a lie) and finally turn it off at around 11.45 in the evening.... Its amazing over a day to see the same products sold by different talent :mysmilie_17:

So I wake up with Guy Kean,do good work with Caroline-Lyndsay, hop back in with his Lordship Guy, if am lucky I get Liana brightening the screen, smell a bit of Peter Shitelock, get a full facial dose of Sally-Jacks, the never ending Jenny, Mikey at 6.30 putting the fear of god into me and then if I am honored to have Peter Simon, he used to work at the BBC you know, sending me off to sleep hugging my angels and warm in my throw.... ZZZZZ ZZZ ZZ Z

Oh dear Stunning I am surprised you manage to sleep after such an exciting day... there is help out there...:mysmilie_59:

I only watch in very small doses. I would go mad if I watched too much! I am quite intolerant at the moment, I watch a few minutes then shout "sod off" when the presenter talks nonsence and change channels.

Do you think it has got a bit better recently?

Muttley said:

I only watch in very small doses. I would go mad if I watched too much! I am quite intolerant at the moment, I watch a few minutes then shout "sod off" when the presenter talks nonsence and change channels.

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Same here Muttley but I shout 'oh feck off' lol

Spottybotty said:

Do you think it has got a bit better recently?

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No

I keep having a recurring nightmare that involves a really shifty, wispy character who tries to convince me that his face creams are worth £150 because some obscure website says so and he just won't give in. He goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and ...................

Tonight's predicted nightmare: Peters Sherlock and Simon selling Sexxy Shoo perfume, shouting "Only £35 for Sexxy Shoo??! Run to your phone NOW!!", only my phone has been cut off and I miss this incredible bargain forever.

boredshopper said:

Tonight's predicted nightmare: Peters Sherlock and Simon selling Sexxy Shoo perfume, shouting "Only £35 for Sexxy Shoo??! Run to your phone NOW!!", only my phone has been cut off and I miss this incredible bargain forever.

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I have smelt one of the Sexxy Shoo perfumes. You should be glad your phone has been cut off...

Muttley said:

I have smelt one of the Sexxy Shoo perfumes. You should be glad your phone has been cut off...

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I've smelt them all except the Gold one. They are (in my opinion) rank, the red one is evil.

They reek that much of alcohol that people might think you've been on the cheapo supermarket plonk :mysmilie_59:

Nasty, seriously nasty.

They had big gift boxes of Sexxy Shoo lsst year in TJ Hughes in Eastbourne for the bargain price of £7.99. I wasn't tempted. I like the way they say "who wouldn't want this on their dressing table?". Me for one because it would look crap and cheap next to my Calvin Klein. And I'm not a snob.

I did wake up with the cold sweats... shouting BET... no... no .... BET :mysmilie_11:

There's only one more thing worse than dreaming about Bid TV presenters... and that is masturbating over them. :mysmilie_514: