What do you expect to see 10/03/14 at 10 p.m.?

If they are going to wipe the slate clean and start from scratch, the only way I can see them retrieving any credibility is :

1) For a start, a small up-market product base of well-known brands at decent prices.

2) Cut presenting costs to the bone and perhaps go down the IW route with 30 minutes or an hour on each product. Pre-recorded presentations should be considered. Being a bit dull and ruthlessly efficient may not make the greatest TV, but they would sell stuff !

3) No more £1 tat, cruddy jewellery, meerkat gnomes, etc etc.

4) Ditch the end of the pier acts...Peter Simon, Mason and Sherlock should not be allowed to work another shift on this channel.

Obvious suggestions, I know, but it would be a start at least. Seeing what they are selling in the last few days and the way they are still selling it does not inspire confidence. Definitely time for a new broom.

Phone call price halved at least would be a start, they never know that might get over double the calls

None of the above fits in with Peter Simons promo with him dressed as a genie with a lamp...

The Insider said:

None of the above fits in with Peter Simons promo with him dressed as a genie with a lamp...

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I know - it looks like its going to be even worse than it is now!

The Insider said:

None of the above fits in with Peter Simons promo with him dressed as a genie with a lamp...

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I hadn't seen the promo, but it sounds like a recipe for disaster already.

As other posters have noted here, Kiri did well on her unexpected debut at short notice on Sunday night (she was a little panicky and rushed at times, but generally fine). She sold well too, for a Sunday night. I think she should be given a chance to shine...she couldn't do worse than the old dinosaurs !

The Insider said:

None of the above fits in with Peter Simons promo with him dressed as a genie with a lamp...

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What?! No modern shopping channel surely has a place for Peter Siimon. I don't care how much he shifts, his methods are exploitative. He is an embarassment. Mike Mason now has a fibre optic lamp. Oh god I am back in the 1970s.

Muttley said:

What?! No modern shopping channel surely has a place for Peter Siimon. I don't care how much he shifts, his methods are exploitative. He is an embarassment. Mike Mason now has a fibre optic lamp. Oh god I am back in the 1970s.

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Had to laugh when Mike said about the price, now you're the boss. Okay Mike do one your fired.

As he's a genie I'd guess its to do with giving the public 3 wishes.... i.e. what we most want. I'd much prefer it if he rubbed his lamp & Lola magically appeared in her Arabian... burlesque attire and announced she's returned to save Sit up TV.

At 10/03/14 at 10pm it will be a test card with a picture of a naked Peter Simon in the centre.

"Not only will it be the end of an era..."

Is it too much to ask for rising price auctions to return?

Price Plunge said:

At 10/03/14 at 10pm it will be a test card with a picture of a naked Peter Simon in the centre.

"Not only will it be the end of an era..."

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Not only am I scared, not only am I terrified... Will he be needing the larger of the fig leaves?

boredshopper said:

Not only am I scared, not only am I terrified... Will he be needing the larger of the fig leaves?

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Only if it is to cover his ego.

Sent from my Vodafone 354 using Forum Runner *meep meep*

It's 10 pm on the 10th March.

The lights dim and the studio is in darkness.

A spotlight comes on and Peter Simon is sitting on a stool. He is dressed in drag. But his face is made-up like a clown. The make-up is smeared as if the clown has been crying. The lipstick is all smeared across his face.

We are expecting something along the lines of the opening scene of the "Em-Cee" in the 1979's film, "Cabaret" but Dirty Pete is mumbling incoherently. He picks up a bottle of the Snake Serum from the floor. He douses it on his face and smears the clown make-up even more. He looks an utter mess. He repeats the words in a whisper, "Not only..." as if it is a mantra.

The lights gradually change to a dull red. The 'sad and crying man in drag' slowly picks himself up from the stool. It is as if the whole world is upon his ageing shoulders. Another spotlight slowly reveals a circle on the floor. The camera focuses on it and we see some little glass Teddy Bears in a circle.

Peter looks down and slowly sinks down to his knees as if in confession. He looks as if he is making the sign of the cross but actually is it's the sign of an upside-down cross. His lips is starting to tremble. He put his hands on the crystal teddy bears. His hand begins to tremble and he suddenly moans out loud, "By the power of Sally Jaxx! Rid thee of my spiritual affliction! Save thee from the evil of the evil one!" He is shaking wildly. He suddenly throws the bears across the studio in complete anger. He is wailing now. It's as if there is something inside him trying to escape, like a scene in that film, "Alien".

He starts to writhe on the floor. He is uncontrollable. The big dress he is wearing is over his head. We can see his undercarriage. It is a desperate sight. He is screaming, "Bet! Bet! The 3.40 at Kempton"

The lights are dimming. Dirty Peter is still shaking his arms aloft stretching up to the sky.

We are in darkness for a moment.

Then a test card appears.

Bid TV is no more.

The glass teddy bears are no more. Peter Simon is no more.

The nightmare is over.

They're going 24 hours a day.... I could imagine the message...


You've been on the curries and got a sore ring,
Gandhi's revenge is a frightful thing.

Its 3 in the morning its dark and cold,
You tune in to Bid, Peter Simon looks old.

the bargains are there, the mind is racing,
You're cold & sore, your botty aching.

The sun starts to rise, its well after five,
Peter looks awful, looks like he's about to die.

Gandhi has passed over, the botty is sore,
time to switch off bid, its time to snore.

Nah - It'll be another £10 credit!

I've heard from a very UNreliable source

that bid is to be repackaged under the babestation format.

Option one to have a private call with peter simon, option two to have a one to one chat with sally jaxx... she's from burnley you know! Or text 0904 251 2014 to get images of peter sherlock wearing only a evil grin.

*calls may be charged at £4 per minute from a bt landline. Images will cost £3 per image... unless it's peter sherlocks favourite... then it's gonna cost extra.

*this may all be untrue.

I have no idea what miserable trick this lot have up their sleeve but as usual I suspect there'll be more to it than meets the eye.

If they had any class they'd just go away but that's way to much to expect.

Just saw Peter Simon appearing from behind the curtains rubbing his lamp....:mysmilie_13:

stunning! said:

Just saw Peter Simon appearing from behind the curtains rubbing his lamp....:mysmilie_13:

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I bet their many, many creditors aren't impressed by such tomfoolery.

They should be foreclosed, forthwith!

stunning! said:

Just saw Peter Simon appearing from behind the curtains rubbing his lamp....:mysmilie_13:

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And then you pitched what you saw to bid execs as an on air trailer?


PJ

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