Gardening funnies

Sorry to poke fun but I find the gardening so boring that the one light spot really sticks in my mind. Last night on the TSV show, Charlie greeted Richard Jackson by saying "you've been doing this since you were knee high to a grasshopper". This nearly made me fall out of bed laughing as he looked up into Charlie's armpit and I thought 'no change there then' :18:

I know some of you like the gardening but it's over saturated and if I see those bony little fingers pointing at me once more.... He'd be good in one of those new 3D horror movies The QVC Strangler!

I'm still not sure why he's there even - he doesn't actually do any gardening! Anyone could stand there and sell the stuff.

yes you are right, you never see him digging or planting anything!!

im no fan either & i laughed at that too........
there used to be a chap on IW & he was good.......had a good saying that was " rooty ".....said with a big deep growl.......did get a little tiresome when on a long time BUT at least he looked like he was a gardener....this richard chappie stands like hes in the gents [ standing like hes been shot in the back if you get my drift ] BUT he makes this stance with his hands half in & half out of his pockets.........then to make himself look even shorter he then opens his legs & stands with them apart making him evener shorter..........please note i am not knocking the fact hes vertically challenged as i have a few men friends that are short a''sses ......sorry love gardening but not a fan of him or what he brings........[ bought once & never again ] & as for those tubers our local g/centre charges less for prettier blooms

queenie said:

yes you are right, you never see him digging or planting anything!!

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your highness my lovely
i doubt he could shovel anything apart from the sh@t he's shovelling at present & in the past for that matter......get him off & lets have some eye candy

I'm all for eye candy Iggylover. Someone with a good body and a bit of a hairy chest would do me. Does jon Bon Jovi do gardening d'y'think? I can dream I suppose!!

iggylover said:

your highness my lovely
i doubt he could shovel anything apart from the sh@t he's shovelling at present & in the past for that matter......get him off & lets have some eye candy

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now thats a good idea!!

My Mother-in-Law has a large gnome collection in her front garden and one of them is a dead ringer for Richard Jackson!!! I'm not even joking - he has little blue jeans with a checked shirt - he is standing with his legs wide apart with his little hands tucked into the jean pockets. He has a beard, I grant you, but underneath that beard is a little side-ways smirk - I swear it's Richard Jackson!!

Anyway, I can't stand gnomes.

Now, now gang!
The man is a giant in the horticultural world! I mean, he wrote the gardening column for the News Of The World!:59::59:

I love gardening....but not with Richard Jackson! He never tells you anything of importance - i.e. how to look after the plants. Even when Charlie asked him out right last night what you did after planting the thing! Jackson just repeated that they would come back next year even bigger and better! So no pruning then or mulching...or even watering!:15:

My path crossed with his a few years back and I have to say he was so damn rude! Totally blanked me and interrupted the conversation I was having with my friend as he wanted to say something to her!

I'm still trying to work out exactly his role in the QVC garden at Chelsea....he seems to take the glory but doesn't design it...or plant it....and only seems to attend if he can take a camera!

BTW, I too remember the guy from IW who did the "roooty" catch phrase. Now he really was a gardener and far more informative than Jackson.

Catkins said:

I'm all for eye candy Iggylover. Someone with a good body and a bit of a hairy chest would do me. Does jon Bon Jovi do gardening d'y'think? I can dream I suppose!!

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he does a lot more than gardening in my dreams catkins!!!! :51:

Richard jackson just loves the sound of his own voice,you can see him waiting to jump in with his 2 pennerworth as soon as the other person pauses for breath,even when another "expert" is on he has to get his little comments in.Loathe the man.
And has the other chap from S.Africa,David somebody been on lately he was always so funny,never understood a word he said as he never seemed to finish them.

ceejay said:

And has the other chap from S.Africa,David somebody been on lately he was always so funny,never understood a word he said as he never seemed to finish them.

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Oh he is hilarious!! Sometimes, you can see the presenter trying very hard not to laugh.

Tricia ^^ said:

he does a lot more than gardening in my dreams catkins!!!! :51:

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And in mine. He's very supple!!!

Catkins said:

And in mine. He's very supple!!!

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Send him round to me, I'm double-jointed.

Linda

Richard Jackson and his fake enthusiasm...yuk!

ERICS MUM said:

Send him round to me, I'm double-jointed.

Linda

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By the time I've finished with him he might need a bit of a rest to get his strength back Linda!!!:4:

Ugh, and he's on again for hours with yet another TSV later in the week.

However, I do actually have a serious question about the gardening shows - does RJ himself actually choose what to sell in the show, or does he just show up and see what he's been given?