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Given that this pitiful channel is clearly on its last legs and can’t be long for the world of broadcasting, the time has surely come for Peter Vollebregt to renounce his love of hoovers and heaters and reprise his role as Father Dominic (a character he played in a soap opera). He can then get...

Mrs Ranger happened to catch Shaun Crawley masterfully kneading a pillow on one of the recent mattress shows. It was her first viewing of Ideal’s luxury 'expert', as she tends to avoid the shopping channels. A few minutes of his sickly insincerity was quite enough for her:“There’s a man in need...

I’m sure I’m not alone in experiencing a strange feeling, like it’s the beginning of the internet, whenever Janice Phillips comes on and tells us about all the wonderful things you can do on a tablet: emailing, reading books, booking a holiday, and then there’s all those apps! (And let's not...

I imagine most people on this forum will be familiar with this general election poster of 1979... Now seems like an appropriate time to reprise a variation of this poster, as a timely reminder to the incumbents of an increasingly bizarre shopping channel It can't go on like this for much...

There was something of a Freudian slip by Peter Simon on Friday's 'royal' furniture show. In the middle of a frantic sales pitch he declared that, "£500 is an enormous amount of money!". He was talking about the bonded leather chair he was flogging for £499.99, and although he went on to qualify...

The chap who sells the Snore Wizard, Paul Daglish, was on yesterday. Presenting himself as something of an 'expert' on snoring, he spoke about the many e-mails he'd received thanking him for a good night's sleep, even saying how the device had helped to save marriages! With so many satisfied...

Peter Simon and a chap called Gary Shaffer were selling a Charles Taylor garden furniture set yesterday (a company so prestigious that they "don’t need to do discounts"). Mr Shaffer received something of a hero's welcome from Peter, who explained how the show needed a man who was 1) a master...

Has anyone else noticed a certain similarity between the fictional Gordan Brittas (The Brittas Empire) and Ideal’s Tim Britton From what I saw of yesterday’s Bike Box show, there seemed to be quite an emphasis on the ‘comedy’ element, with Peter Simon doing his utmost to embarrass Tim with...

As Ideal World are having a kitchen themed event today, I thought I’d try and set the mood by presenting this little ditty about ‘Chef’ William... William Kennelly is a chef on the tele, Except the 'chef' bit isn't quite true, If you're craving fine dining, Then there's no silver lining...

I see Ideal’s resident vacuum cleaner virtuoso and part-time art expert, Peter Vollebregt, is on tomorrow’s Kinkaide show. Sporting his serious glasses, and dressed in smart casual attire, he is sure to dazzle the audience with some highly polished rhubarb concerning the artist’s work. We can...

Like many here, I thought that Peter Simon had scraped all possible barrels when it comes to selling ploys. It seems I was wrong. His late father was dragged into the sales process in the Vostok show earlier, with Peter saying how he would be 'looking down' and admiring the watch on display...

Howard’s toilet Tourette’s was in full flow on the Williams car show yesterday. His opening gambit was a quite bizarre tale involving him eating a pasty and then being the victim of ‘bird poo’, as he so delicately put it. The rear end obsession continued with a later joke about ‘putting wind in...

Although this this video isn’t really about shopping tele, it does concern the ‘selling’ of hope to tragically deluded people, who will readily part with large sums of money in the belief that their donations will somehow be ‘blessed’. Peter Simon is a veritable paragon of virtue compared to the...

In case anyone thought that Peter Sherlock’s talents were restricted to being “the world’s only TV fragrance buyer and presenter” (http://www.hudsonwalker.com/2013/02/04/peter-sherlock-examines-the-rise-of-niche-and-vintage-fragrance/), it turns out that that he’s also a semi-professional...

I suspect this is a little window into the real man behind the endless fakery and toe-curling ‘comedy’. His parting comment is particularly revealing: “A man of my age, ridiculous!” Couldn't agree more, although in this instance I think it’s a classic case of (to borrow a famous Shakespearean...

I see the pongtastic Peter Sherlock has been on again flogging his exclusive (but suspiciously cheap) smellies. The grand title for tonight’s show was ‘Divine Fragrance’. It turns out that one possible anagram for this word combination is ‘Vain Face Grinder’. This seems particularly fitting...

Viewers of this forum might be interested in the following tributes to one of the greatest undiscovered comic genuises of our time: And this Twitter page is a wonderful collection of his (not only) beautifully crafted sayings that have added so much to the cause of consumer enlightenment, as...