Howard, and the queue update!!

There is already a thread about how Howard always mentions how much stock has gone, now he loves telling us about 'the queue situation'.


They are selling the 'Carpet Master' and Howard thinks the price is too low!


''David Addis, we have 1 minute queues forming on the phones''

''David, you know I said we had 1 minute queues? Well, now we have maximum people working in our call centre, and still have 30 second queues''

''Oh, another live stock update. We don't have a 1 minute queue anymore, or even 2 minutes....it's now a 2 1/2 minute queue on the phones. If you are playing the waiting game......''

''You keep talking David, while I update the people on the queue situation.''

''We are now reachine 300 people on the phones, and people are buying more than one of these now. If you want to beat the queue press 2 or go to our website. Our call centre is at maximum copasity, and now with 3 minute queues....''


This is on NOW!! All of these were said in the space of 5 minutes! lmao - I still don't see how they get more operators in within 1 minute when ther are queues!! lol

I'm sure you want to see Howard and his queue situation! - You never know, he may give us a quick stock update along the way!!

He was just the same in the Garden Bargain's...you can see his nose growing when he's saying it, he really is unbelievable.

Can't watch him whatever he's on.

Aw, bless!
He's trying to make it exciting - Carpet Master Bingo!

He's such a twerp

I wonder how much of it is 'caller profitability management' - the longer people are on the phones the more money they make out of the phone call charge. But not too long or they'll hang up....

As much as I like Howard to look at, what comes out of his mouth is a major turnoff...

Howard again last night!! I was in stitches!! They had the 'CEL Multitool' and was £169.99, and at quaterpast and half past the hour he was like

''We have surges on the phonelines.....it's because the main channels are probably on adverts and I only have a few minutes of their time''

Not being funny, but who watches something on ITV, flicks over to IW for a minute and thinks ''Oh thats good, I'm going to just buy it for £169.99.'' ?! lol

Then it was 22:43, and he was like ''We have a surge on the phonelines, the other terrestrial channels must have gone to a break early....'' I'm affraid not, Howard. ITV/C4/C5 were still on! lol


And to the queues AGAIN what made me laugh! ''[Guests name], you have been naughty. The price you have given us is so low, you have given us 5 second queues on the phone lines....'' Oh no!! 5 seconds!! :O lmao

Howard is pure class in this, always makes me chuckle.
"We've only been on air 7 minutes and already ONE percent of the stock has FLOWN"
LOL, I dont think Im supposed to watch him to laugh at him but there, I enjoy it

I have noticed lately that they mention that adverts are on the other channels and they have a flood of new viewers while the adverts are on "so I must show you what you are getting"

I have flicked over when this was said and no, the adverts weren't on

A new idea from the brains above, gone badly wrong as always lol

It makes me cringe. I couldn't give a flying fruck how large his stock is..ahem.

I can't stand Howard, he is so dull and insincere

You can imagine it when Howard is making love to his wife:

"Cum update: darling, there is currently a three minute wait"

"My stock is going to empty shortly"

"Quickly dear, the adverts are on soon. There is to be a big surge...."

I'm surprised to hear people are actually watching!

Moth said:

I'm surprised to hear people are actually watching!

Click to expand...

I'm even more surprised that he has a wife.....

Jinny x