What rules and regs would you enforce if you were in QVC Personell department?

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maymorganlondon

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There seem to be a lot of presenters that annoy us one way or another.

It strikes me that this could be the department to rein in the most irritating traits of staff.

Let's start with the most controversial - absolutely NO participating in auctions or other competitions run by QVC.

No promotion of products which are not on sale on QVC.

No promotion of own-brand products, even if on sale on QVC, except in the hours they are specifically featured (currently aimed at Julia and Debbie - but who knows where this current book-writing bonanza will lead).

No wearing of leggings on air unless it's a health and fitness show in which the presenter is participating, and then only for that show.

No i-pads or similar devices to be visible or in use on air unless it is a technology show promoting those items. Otherwise, the device should only be used in the breaks.

No on air ordering.

No checking for tweets/fb etc except in the breaks.

Tweets to be selected from product-relevant questions, and product-relevant reviews.

Shimmerbrick BANNED on air.

Porchester Square BANNED on air.

Feet to be covered (mainly to get rid of Julia's toe-posts).

All presenters to be checked for appropriateness to be on air before their shows.

Training to be given to vocabulary-challenged presenters (that's all of them, really) - up to and including persistent offenders being fitted with an electronic zapper for every time a word (eg: indeed, remarkable, prestigious, celebrity), or phrase (eg: get yours now, jump to the phones) is used (free pass for first use in a show). Perhaps with said zapper increasing the power of the zap each time.

That's just my thoughts.
 
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Great ideas May. Let`s hope the powers that be actually read this forum.
 
Think they'll go for the zapper idea? :mysmilie_454:

You can buy dog collars which give electric shocks to badly behaved dogs. I would NEVER EVER use one on a dog but by heck I could be tempted to use one on certain Q presenters.
 
Now maymorganlondon, I have had to take issue with you on your loathing of shimmerbrick before!!!! I love it!, so change that to:
Excessive use of shimmerbrick banned on air, please.

Then I am with you all the way. :wave:
 
Now maymorganlondon, I have had to take issue with you on your loathing of shimmerbrick before!!!! I love it!, so change that to:
Excessive use of shimmerbrick banned on air, please.

Then I am with you all the way. :wave:

Ah - I remember it well - and that is what it says in the OP - just for you!
 
I'd like all presenters to have to reapply for their jobs. Their interview would consist of taking part in Radio 4's "Just A Minute"...60 seconds of no repetition, deviation or hesitation, is that too much to ask?

A variation on the dog collar idea...does anyone remember the film Scanners? :bandit::movie::angry:
 
Stroking of anything banned. If it is to show the size of earrings compared to a nail then keep nail still, we can judge the length of the nail. If it is to show the fluidity of the gold then float across finger twice, no more. On NN or any bedding shows, once. The hand all over the shoes smacked of nails and polish showing off from the guest, then the presenter joined in, you couldn't see the shoe! Pointing, never. More and more presenters are doing it now and a few guests.
 
Training needs to be given in common courtesy when it comes to interrupting guests, pointing and gobbling down food live on air.
A dress code of decency for all - no chest hair for men, clothes to fit well, not straining over the body anywhere. For women, a simple code of decency so that we don't have to endure constant boob view and clothes that are far too small.
 
It wouldn't hurt if they had to hit targets other than sales targets (and now extending this out to production team/director).

75-85% of on-air time talking about products. That means principally the guest talking. The other % is for the presenters to do all the stock updates, calls to action, greetings and introductions. They can dip their to in the guest speaking time if they are asking questions about the products.
90-95% time showing/demonstrating the products (I'm only interested to see the presenter and guest occasionally).

I'm also going to suggest my zapper should be used every time a presenter asks a question and does not let the guest answer (come on down Sara Griffiths!!), and when a presenter interrupts the guest (Alison Young, this could be you!!!).
 
Genius. I can just imagine the floor littered with zapped presenters twitching feebly. How many zaps before they're shown the door? It would be a treat to watch them slow down and choose their words very carefully.
 
Can QVC Personnel Dept please ban....

- meCharlie from talking at less than 2 words per minute (he currently averages 1 word a minute),
- meCharlie making those creepy hand gestures, to show off his 'man manicure'
- Clare Sutton's hair flicking and silly, giggly attempts to speak/act like Marilyn Monroe (you're in your forties, luv, not 6, and Marilyn Monroe you 'ain't)
- Debbie Flint...well, just Debbie Flint, really...
- Simon Biagi's chest hair being revealed to the world (yuk and double yuk)
- any Presenter's tales of auntie/mother/cousin/friend/sister or any permutation of friend or relation, where the item in question being flogged has changed their life, made them a better person, enabled them to win the Booker prize or a Humanitarian award for services to mankind


There seem to be a lot of presenters that annoy us one way or another.

It strikes me that this could be the department to rein in the most irritating traits of staff.

Let's start with the most controversial - absolutely NO participating in auctions or other competitions run by QVC.

No promotion of products which are not on sale on QVC.

No promotion of own-brand products, even if on sale on QVC, except in the hours they are specifically featured (currently aimed at Julia and Debbie - but who knows where this current book-writing bonanza will lead).

No wearing of leggings on air unless it's a health and fitness show in which the presenter is participating, and then only for that show.

No i-pads or similar devices to be visible or in use on air unless it is a technology show promoting those items. Otherwise, the device should only be used in the breaks.

No on air ordering.

No checking for tweets/fb etc except in the breaks.

Tweets to be selected from product-relevant questions, and product-relevant reviews.

Shimmerbrick BANNED on air.

Porchester Square BANNED on air.

Feet to be covered (mainly to get rid of Julia's toe-posts).

All presenters to be checked for appropriateness to be on air before their shows.

Training to be given to vocabulary-challenged presenters (that's all of them, really) - up to and including persistent offenders being fitted with an electronic zapper for every time a word (eg: indeed, remarkable, prestigious, celebrity), or phrase (eg: get yours now, jump to the phones) is used (free pass for first use in a show). Perhaps with said zapper increasing the power of the zap each time.

That's just my thoughts.
 
:mysmilie_14:countrymaid, talking of food, QVC should definitely ban meCharlie (or any other Presenter) from stuffing their face with food/drinks/chocolate/fudge or anything that happens to be up for grabs. Someone should tell them that advocating 'healthy lifestyles, diet and exercise' on one show does not sit well with cramming your jaws on the next show. Do they assume the viewers have no brains?

Indeed I do but lunch is in the oven and we need to eat today!
 
Zapper would be brilliant!!
No repeating of certain words for the 100th time, consult a stylist before going on Air and constantly mentioning, join ruddy Facebook!!!:mysmilie_7:
 
If Q decide to bring in the dog collar style zappers then I`m sure they can tart them up with Eek stones or maybe BW can design one covered in tarty looking crystals and a bulldog motif , Lola Rose would make one with a friendship bracelet fastening so it fits all neck sizes or LG could make one with a lips charm hanging from it and the collar in a choice of red or black patent, the possibilities could be endless. They could become a big seller !
 
If Q decide to bring in the dog collar style zappers then I`m sure they can tart them up with Eek stones or maybe BW can design one covered in tarty looking crystals and a bulldog motif , Lola Rose would make one with a friendship bracelet fastening so it fits all neck sizes or LG could make one with a lips charm hanging from it and the collar in a choice of red or black patent, the possibilities could be endless. They could become a big seller !

Don't forget the Kipling monkey specially named Zapper, choice of colours to match Q fashion!
 

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