The Howard Griffiths C-Rap

Dr Quincy · Apr 3, 2016

I was feeling inspired after reading through some threads and decided to donate a script for Howard to use in one of his shows, to open the hour. It is in the style of a rap.

My name is Howard and I welcome you.
I'm gonna flog some tat and talk about poo.

You might not think there's a way for me to do it,
I see you're a skeptic but don't poo poo it.

At every turn I'm gonna talk about turd,
I know you think this is really absurd.

Stay with me on this, I'm not taking the piss,
They'll ask me to stop, in fact they'll insist.

You'll be entertained, right from the start,
I place my hand under my armpit, and make like a fart.

For now I gotta go, running out of vowels,
But I'll never run out of things to say about my bowels

peace out

Wirral70 · Apr 3, 2016

If Poo Poo ever becomes capable of delivering coherent dialogue like that he'd probably get proper TV presenting work.

But there's nothing to suggest he is so this Stool Stooge stays on Ideal World, the Turkey Twizzler of Selly Telly. :mysmilie_14:

Greg · Apr 3, 2016

Dr Quincy said:
I was feeling inspired after reading through some threads and decided to donate a script for Howard to use in one of his shows, to open the hour. It is in the style of a rap.

My name is Howard and I welcome you.
I'm gonna flog some tat and talk about poo.

You might not think there's a way for me to do it,
I see you're a skeptic but don't poo poo it.

At every turn I'm gonna talk about turd,
I know you think this is really absurd.

Stay with me on this, I'm not taking the piss,
They'll ask me to stop, in fact they'll insist.

You'll be entertained, right from the start,
I place my hand under my armpit, and make like a fart.

For now I gotta go, running out of vowels,
But I'll never run out of things to say about my bowels

peace out

Your a genius! :handshake:

shopperholic · Apr 3, 2016

:mysmilie_15: That's our Howard to a pee.......sorry! I mean tee.

historymystery · Apr 3, 2016

He'd never manage that. There are words of more than one syllable. :doh::sweat:

Dr Quincy said:
I was feeling inspired after reading through some threads and decided to donate a script for Howard to use in one of his shows, to open the hour. It is in the style of a rap.

My name is Howard and I welcome you.
I'm gonna flog some tat and talk about poo.

You might not think there's a way for me to do it,
I see you're a skeptic but don't poo poo it.

At every turn I'm gonna talk about turd,
I know you think this is really absurd.

Stay with me on this, I'm not taking the piss,
They'll ask me to stop, in fact they'll insist.

You'll be entertained, right from the start,
I place my hand under my armpit, and make like a fart.

For now I gotta go, running out of vowels,
But I'll never run out of things to say about my bowels

peace out

Kathy · Apr 4, 2016

I haven't watched Howard much , but from what I have heard he talks through his rear end...:mysmilie_845:

historymystery · Apr 4, 2016

Dr. Q, this is just brilliant! :mysmilie_483::mysmilie_859:

Dr Quincy said:
I was feeling inspired after reading through some threads and decided to donate a script for Howard to use in one of his shows, to open the hour. It is in the style of a rap.

My name is Howard and I welcome you.
I'm gonna flog some tat and talk about poo.

You might not think there's a way for me to do it,
I see you're a skeptic but don't poo poo it.

At every turn I'm gonna talk about turd,
I know you think this is really absurd.

Stay with me on this, I'm not taking the piss,
They'll ask me to stop, in fact they'll insist.

You'll be entertained, right from the start,
I place my hand under my armpit, and make like a fart.

For now I gotta go, running out of vowels,
But I'll never run out of things to say about my bowels

peace out

Muttley · Apr 12, 2016

Dr Quincy said:
I was feeling inspired after reading through some threads and decided to donate a script for Howard to use in one of his shows, to open the hour. It is in the style of a rap.

My name is Howard and I welcome you.
I'm gonna flog some tat and talk about poo.

You might not think there's a way for me to do it,
I see you're a skeptic but don't poo poo it.

At every turn I'm gonna talk about turd,
I know you think this is really absurd.

Stay with me on this, I'm not taking the piss,
They'll ask me to stop, in fact they'll insist.

You'll be entertained, right from the start,
I place my hand under my armpit, and make like a fart.

For now I gotta go, running out of vowels,
But I'll never run out of things to say about my bowels

peace out

Please don't give him ideas! However, if he does sing this on air we will know that he reads this forum!

mr tom · Apr 12, 2016

Well that's just fantastic.

Jazzydrury · Apr 12, 2016

That sums Howard up.

But there are two Howard's the IW one, and another when he does the odd stint on Create and Craft, where he often comes across a lot more sensible and talks sense

The Howard Griffiths C-Rap

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Dr Quincy

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Does fuzzy logic tickle?

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Good luck if you get it...

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