Peter Simon is but a pale imitation of this man

Mommabear said:

I can imagine him when they do rehearsals for the 'show'

PP......right, I'll open the show, all right?
Guest.......ok, how long will that take?
PP......10 minutes?
Guest.......grief! well ok, then I get to show the product?
PP.....yeah right, it's all yours
Guest.......good
PP......but I will interject now and then/often with a few gags
Guest......Gags?
PP.....Gags and stories about our Bet and that, right?
Guest.....I thought this was a shopping channel, that's why I've brought the product here, to sell
PP......It was......err is, all right......but them at 'ome need entertaining, all right, they love me and think I'm dead funny, all right?.......Don't worry, I'll give out plenty of stock updates between gags, it'll fly out, all right?
Guest....

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'ey no, listen...right

Lady Madonna said:

Loved him so funny, remember Slack Alice????

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That name always made me laugh!

My mum was watching The Good Old Days on BBC4 about a month ago when Larry Grayson was on. There was one moment when he turns round briefly to look at the conductor of the orchestra, turns back to the audience, and says "And he's anyone's for a doughnut"!

The thing is, he never sounded crude like Dirty Peter.

And I liked Larry's array of "friends" because it was a comedy act (the postman was Pop It In Pete!). Why a person selling stuff on television feels the need to invent "friends" I find creepy.

I liked the one where he made some comment about his health, looked sideways at a member of the audience and said "you remember, I told you that last night in bed". The way it was done was not in the least smutty, just very, very funny. And then he was on quickly to the next joke, not staring at the camera, not pursing his lips or licking them and smirking, waiting for the laughs. He didn't "milk it" at all. What I liked was it was exactly the way you hear snippets of people's talk in shops, on buses and so on, just effortlessly funny without being forced. (How are you, Mutts? Hope you are still feeling better).

Muttley said:

My mum was watching The Good Old Days on BBC4 about a month ago when Larry Grayson was on. There was one moment when he turns round briefly to look at the conductor of the orchestra, turns back to the audience, and says "And he's anyone's for a doughnut"!

The thing is, he never sounded crude like Dirty Peter.

And I liked Larry's array of "friends" because it was a comedy act (the postman was Pop It In Pete!). Why a person selling stuff on television feels the need to invent "friends" I find creepy.

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Muttley said:

My mum was watching The Good Old Days on BBC4 about a month ago when Larry Grayson was on. There was one moment when he turns round briefly to look at the conductor of the orchestra, turns back to the audience, and says "And he's anyone's for a doughnut"!

The thing is, he never sounded crude like Dirty Peter.

And I liked Larry's array of "friends" because it was a comedy act (the postman was Pop It In Pete!). Why a person selling stuff on television feels the need to invent "friends" I find creepy.

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Pope Pete, eat 'yer heart out. Thanks, Greg, brings back memories of how popular this programme was and how most of the big stars appeared on it at one time or another. Happy days.

Greg said:

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historymystery said:

I liked the one where he made some comment about his health, looked sideways at a member of the audience and said "you remember, I told you that last night in bed". The way it was done was not in the least smutty, just very, very funny. And then he was on quickly to the next joke, not staring at the camera, not pursing his lips or licking them and smirking, waiting for the laughs. He didn't "milk it" at all. What I liked was it was exactly the way you hear snippets of people's talk in shops, on buses and so on, just effortlessly funny without being forced. (How are you, Mutts? Hope you are still feeling better).

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Thanks again H, I feel a lot better today, wound not so tender and stitches out tomorrow. Being spoiled rotten by my mum (despite me being 48) which obviously helps!

Greg said:

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That was the episode she saw! She loved watching it again. Cheers Greg!

Aw, Muttley, hope the stitches removal goes well and not too painful. So glad to hear the wound is not causing you too much discomfort. Enjoy the spoiling - why not, you're worth it and we should all be spoilt rotten at times like this. Good luck for tomorrow at the hospital - and if I were you, I'd phone ahead and tell them to 'flippin well make sure that IW is not showing on a TV set anywhere near where you are, or they'll be in trouble :mysmilie_17:. Can it be that your Consultant is a secret IW fan? Does he/she keep saying...."not only"? or "40% already gone"? or "the phones have gone mad?" And gasp! Shock! Horror! - could they have a partner known as Our Bet? Do your homework, Mutts, I suspect there's been IW infiltration...... Take care & get well soon.

Muttley said:

Thanks again H, I feel a lot better today, wound not so tender and stitches out tomorrow. Being spoiled rotten by my mum (despite me being 48) which obviously helps!

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Found a great interview with Larry and Wogan, he talks about his act here and Mr Simon could learn a thing or two by watching this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AI5e9IpkFvo

A masterclass for Peter Simon in how to be naturally funny (not that he ever will be...) Larry Grayson on Pebble Mill, 1992 : ("she wanted to be on the pantomime, but they wouldn't release her from "The Cock & Trumpet" :mysmilie_17

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6G78mOqt9k

Greg said:

The master of the 'double entendre' (and he never prostituted himself on a clapped-out selly telly channel!):

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The idiot was on with Shaddazle this morning, couldn't take my eyes off his pathetic singing, he also made a comment "oh well you're German" and the guy said "what's that got to do with it?' but the absolute best was, Pervy Pete was screaming "look at that! just look at that! I'm going to get me a Shadazzle" then the German guy said to him "you've got some" I thought how embarrassing was that! Then he went on about things rising and going hard and there was my queue to leave.

shopperholic said:

The idiot was on with Shaddazle this morning, couldn't take my eyes off his pathetic singing, he also made a comment "oh well you're German" and the guy said "what's that got to do with it?' but the absolute best was, Pervy Pete was screaming "look at that! just look at that! I'm going to get me a Shadazzle" then the German guy said to him "you've got some" I thought how embarrassing was that! Then he went on about things rising and going hard and there was my queue to leave.

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Give him time and he'll start screaming "Don't mention the war!"

I wonder how many companies would rather make infomercials that go out at 3am rather than have the dubious "delight" of having their products made a mockery of by Pervy Pete.

Enigma said:

Give him time and he'll start screaming "Don't mention the war!"

I wonder how many companies would rather make infomercials that go out at 3am rather than have the dubious "delight" of having their products made a mockery of by Pervy Pete.

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I just don't get how he manages to wing it and get through an hour without saying anything other than "not only......." and "just buy it!"

shopperholic said:

I just don't get how he manages to wing it and get through an hour without saying anything other than "not only......." and "just buy it!"

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There are too many people who believe his act.

You only have to look at our elected politicians and the number of formulaic cop/medical dramas and reality shows on telly to see that we're not exactly a nation that thinks too hard or deeply about things

Enigma said:

There are too many people who believe his act.

You only have to look at our elected politicians and the number of formulaic cop/medical dramas and reality shows on telly to see that we're not exactly a nation that thinks too hard or deeply about things

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That's true :up:

Of course, he only shows the UK in its' best light, doesn't he? To quote the garden hour at Q: "what a tool". Don't know about the shadazzle, but he definitely needs to get himself a straightjacket, IMO.

shopperholic said:

The idiot was on with Shaddazle this morning, couldn't take my eyes off his pathetic singing, he also made a comment "oh well you're German" and the guy said "what's that got to do with it?' but the absolute best was, Pervy Pete was screaming "look at that! just look at that! I'm going to get me a Shadazzle" then the German guy said to him "you've got some" I thought how embarrassing was that! Then he went on about things rising and going hard and there was my queue to leave.

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If it was my product that twit was "promoting" (I use the term loosely), I'd be going ballistic. I wonder whether the brand have any say in it at all? Although I suppose the choice of presenter is somewhat limited, with Howard (the human toilet roll) and Mikey "Barrow" Boy coming joint 2nd to Pope Pete in the Dire Presenter stakes.

shopperholic said:

The idiot was on with Shaddazle this morning, couldn't take my eyes off his pathetic singing, he also made a comment "oh well you're German" and the guy said "what's that got to do with it?' but the absolute best was, Pervy Pete was screaming "look at that! just look at that! I'm going to get me a Shadazzle" then the German guy said to him "you've got some" I thought how embarrassing was that! Then he went on about things rising and going hard and there was my queue to leave.

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I agree H not much of a choice is it? Either get punched by Mike "aggressive" Mason, turned deaf by Sally Jacksie or touched up by the dirty old fart Peter Simon.