Peter Simon is but a pale imitation of this man

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shopperholic said:
The idiot was on with Shaddazle this morning, couldn't take my eyes off his pathetic singing, he also made a comment "oh well you're German" and the guy said "what's that got to do with it?' but the absolute best was, Pervy Pete was screaming "look at that! just look at that! I'm going to get me a Shadazzle" then the German guy said to him "you've got some" I thought how embarrassing was that! Then he went on about things rising and going hard and there was my queue to leave.
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And I bet it was said with "the look". Where, oh where is a good heavy gauge frying pan when you need it? Whatever he is a professional at, it doesn't belong on our TV screens in any way, shape or form.
 
historymystery said:
Aw, Muttley, hope the stitches removal goes well and not too painful. So glad to hear the wound is not causing you too much discomfort. Enjoy the spoiling - why not, you're worth it and we should all be spoilt rotten at times like this. Good luck for tomorrow at the hospital - and if I were you, I'd phone ahead and tell them to 'flippin well make sure that IW is not showing on a TV set anywhere near where you are, or they'll be in trouble :mysmilie_17:. Can it be that your Consultant is a secret IW fan? Does he/she keep saying...."not only"? or "40% already gone"? or "the phones have gone mad?" And gasp! Shock! Horror! - could they have a partner known as Our Bet? Do your homework, Mutts, I suspect there's been IW infiltration...... Take care & get well soon.
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Hi Historymystery, I was lucky, the stitches were taken out at my local GP surgery by the practice nurse. Thankfully there is no television in her room so I was not concerned that she was a secret IW fan! She did not keep saying "not only" like Peter Simon, did not shout like Sally Jacks and she was not a gorblimey cockney geezer like Mikey Mason so I think I was safe! She also did not talk about bowels thankfully...

Still got dressings over the wounds which my mum has the misfortune to change but she claims they are not gruesome! I haven't looked, one is on my side and the other slightly round the back - I would need to be a contortionist to be able to see them!
 
Glad you didn't have to go to hospital, Muttley, but still not a pleasant experience having stiches out. Good job in a way that you can't see them, but do hope everything heals up very quickly. Thank goodness for your lovely Mum. Disappointing(?) to hear there were no IW 'clones' at your Doc's surgery - have these people no class at all? :mysmilie_17: Wishing you fully fit soon - take care of yourself. xx

Muttley said:
Hi Historymystery, I was lucky, the stitches were taken out at my local GP surgery by the practice nurse. Thankfully there is no television in her room so I was not concerned that she was a secret IW fan! She did not keep saying "not only" like Peter Simon, did not shout like Sally Jacks and she was not a gorblimey cockney geezer like Mikey Mason so I think I was safe! She also did not talk about bowels thankfully...

Still got dressings over the wounds which my mum has the misfortune to change but she claims they are not gruesome! I haven't looked, one is on my side and the other slightly round the back - I would need to be a contortionist to be able to see them!
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Muttley said:
Hi Historymystery, I was lucky, the stitches were taken out at my local GP surgery by the practice nurse. Thankfully there is no television in her room so I was not concerned that she was a secret IW fan! She did not keep saying "not only" like Peter Simon, did not shout like Sally Jacks and she was not a gorblimey cockney geezer like Mikey Mason so I think I was safe! She also did not talk about bowels thankfully...

Still got dressings over the wounds which my mum has the misfortune to change but she claims they are not gruesome! I haven't looked, one is on my side and the other slightly round the back - I would need to be a contortionist to be able to see them!
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Well Mutts, at least you don't have to worry about bursting any stitches open when watching the dirty old fart :mysmilie_17: Aw I hope you're feeling better soon, take care :mysmilie_3:
 
historymystery said:
Glad you didn't have to go to hospital, Muttley, but still not a pleasant experience having stiches out. Good job in a way that you can't see them, but do hope everything heals up very quickly. Thank goodness for your lovely Mum. Disappointing(?) to hear there were no IW 'clones' at your Doc's surgery - have these people no class at all? :mysmilie_17: Wishing you fully fit soon - take care of yourself. xx
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My mum just said "that's what mum's do!" Everything healing nicely, feeling a whole lot better and am sorting out when to return to work. I have been told I can do half days to get me back in the swing of things and to ease me in gently. As for IW in the surgery, I think it is to make sure that people don't fall ill unnecessarily by watching Dirty Peter and having panic attacks!
 
shopperholic said:
Well Mutts, at least you don't have to worry about bursting any stitches open when watching the dirty old fart :mysmilie_17: Aw I hope you're feeling better soon, take care :mysmilie_3:
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I have tried to avoid watching him since I came out of hospital as I have endured quite enough suffering lately!!! :mysmilie_17:

Feeling much better thanks.
 
Does anyone else remember the characters that Les Dawson used to do on his show with Roy Barrowclough? They used to dress up in drag and called Cissy and Ada. Les' character was slightly more common and Roy's was a bit classier. There was one sketch I remember where they were in an art gallery and were looking at a nude statue! They were really funny!
 
I remember them well, Muttley! Les Dawson used to cross his hands under his "bust" padding and give a "heave" upwards, if I remember rightly, whilst making a 'gurning' face at the same time! I don't recall the sketch in the gallery that you mention, but they did some very funny stuff together, and of course Roy played Alec Gilroy, husband of Bet of the Rovers Return in Coronation Street, for many years (back in the day when Corrie had some decent actors and plotlines - haven't watched it for years now).

Muttley said:
Does anyone else remember the characters that Les Dawson used to do on his show with Roy Barrowclough? They used to dress up in drag and called Cissy and Ada. Les' character was slightly more common and Roy's was a bit classier. There was one sketch I remember where they were in an art gallery and were looking at a nude statue! They were really funny!
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Muttley said:
I have tried to avoid watching him since I came out of hospital as I have endured quite enough suffering lately!!! :mysmilie_17:

Feeling much better thanks.
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I love ya, muttley! Glad you're on the mend x :mysmilie_59:
 
Muttley said:
Does anyone else remember the characters that Les Dawson used to do on his show with Roy Barrowclough? They used to dress up in drag and called Cissy and Ada. Les' character was slightly more common and Roy's was a bit classier. There was one sketch I remember where they were in an art gallery and were looking at a nude statue! They were really funny!
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Beautifully observed routines those - especially if you are from the North and remember the older ladies in the 1960s and 70s. The gurning also rang true - when they used to save their dentures for best. Makes you realise what a sterling job your teeth do to hold your face in shape.
 
maymorganlondon said:
Beautifully observed routines those - especially if you are from the North and remember the older ladies in the 1960s and 70s. The gurning also rang true - when they used to save their dentures for best. Makes you realise what a sterling job your teeth do to hold your face in shape.
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Unless you're PooPoo
 
maymorganlondon said:
Beautifully observed routines those - especially if you are from the North and remember the older ladies in the 1960s and 70s. The gurning also rang true - when they used to save their dentures for best. Makes you realise what a sterling job your teeth do to hold your face in shape.
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I'm not from the North but know the characters that existed in that era. However, I didn't realise that the reason they had no teeth was because they saved their dentures for best! You learn something new every day and I thank you for enlightening me.
 
Muttley said:
I'm not from the North but know the characters that existed in that era. However, I didn't realise that the reason they had no teeth was because they saved their dentures for best! You learn something new every day and I thank you for enlightening me.
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One of those funny things, like having a front parlour - cold and unused unless there were visitors...

The thing with the false teeth was that if they didn't fit particularly well (maybe because of poorly-done extractions) they weren't very comfortable. Unless there were visitors outside the family and bosom buddies circle, some really would go without the dentures then panic about finding them for when they had guests.
 
So the decision to take out their dentures came back and bit them on the bum, you might say? (Sorry, I'm going now.....):giggle:
maymorganlondon said:
One of those funny things, like having a front parlour - cold and unused unless there were visitors...

The thing with the false teeth was that if they didn't fit particularly well (maybe because of poorly-done extractions) they weren't very comfortable. Unless there were visitors outside the family and bosom buddies circle, some really would go without the dentures then panic about finding them for when they had guests.
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maymorganlondon said:
One of those funny things, like having a front parlour - cold and unused unless there were visitors...

The thing with the false teeth was that if they didn't fit particularly well (maybe because of poorly-done extractions) they weren't very comfortable. Unless there were visitors outside the family and bosom buddies circle, some really would go without the dentures then panic about finding them for when they had guests.
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My mum told me that in the olden days the old girls used to work as early morning office cleaners usually until they dropped. Many of them used to get the same bus in the morning and there was a really camp bus conductor who used to dance around the bus when he was collecting tickets and used to pirouette like he was a ballet dancer! The old girls loved him! Can't see that happening today with Health and Safety regulations.
 

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