Pope Pete's eloquent words

Watching Pete in the plants hour, and he's just told us "you'll see what you see, and you'll get what you get". Anyone know Melvin Bragg's telephone number, so he can interview Pete about something deep and meaningful? Pete's currently going hysterical over a bag of compost (Please! Control yourselves and get back in your corner!) and bleating on about how cheap it works out....as usual, he's ignored the £4.99 postage & packing, and the cost of the phone call if you order over the phone. He's wearing that terrible electric blue suit which makes him look like Coco the Clown's little brother, and it is so tight that the jacket is in folds across his back and shoulders, the buttons are straining and it just about meets across the middle, but with the bottom of the jacket moving upwards, because it doesn't meet across his chest. Any minute now, the jacket buttons will burst, fly across the room and take out the guest, 2 camera operators and the lovely(?) Dee(Bees)Knees, who has just come into view talking about something. He looks an absolute sight - where are the background people who should be saying to him.."for f.... sake, undo your jacket so it doesn't look like the suit was made for someone 3 stone lighter".

The man is an absolute joke, got to give it to him though (and I don't just mean his P45) but never known anyone else who get through an hours work on just "ooh ahh" "just buy it!!" and the ever eloquent "not only.........."

They surely need to look again at the medication...he was going hysterical over 2 palm plants and even the guest was looking at him as though he was crackers - as you say, all he does is talk in clichés and exclamations.....I was longing for the guest to stick Pete's head in the sack of compost to shut him up. I had to turn over, as the milk in my coffee had curdled in protest.

shopperholic said:

The man is an absolute joke, got to give it to him though (and I don't just mean his P45) but never known anyone else who get through an hours work on just "ooh ahh" "just buy it!!" and the ever eloquent "not only.........."

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historymystery said:

They surely need to look again at the medication...he was going hysterical over 2 palm plants and even the guest was looking at him as though he was crackers - as you say, all he does is talk in clichés and exclamations.....I was longing for the guest to stick Pete's head in the sack of compost to shut him up. I had to turn over, as the milk in my coffee had curdled in protest.

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If you struck his head in compost, you wouldn't know were one Peter Simon started and the compost ended, anyway H it's really not worth the risk, could end up growing another one of him. :mysmilie_17:

All the while he's 'performing' he isn't actually talking about what's on sale which I'm convinced is why they hired him.

But it does seem he's pretty popular with audiences. He's clearly much more popular than any of the old Ideal World presenters, or Mike Mason.

Doesn't say much for them :mysmilie_59:

:mysmilie_17::mysmilie_13: Noooooooooooooooooo! Too much!!

shopperholic said:

If you struck his head in compost, you wouldn't know were one Peter Simon started and the compost ended, anyway H it's really not worth the risk, could end up growing another one of him. :mysmilie_17:

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historymystery said:

:mysmilie_17::mysmilie_13: Noooooooooooooooooo! Too much!!

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Definitely too much!! :mysmilie_13: :mysmilie_15:

I think people watch him for a laugh - it's morbid fascination, he is a living, breathing (I think) caricature of a shopping telly presenter, and I'm either laughing at his weird behaviour, really angry at his devious 'manipulations' or my jaw's on the floor in shock. It's deffo. car crash TV, I often cannot believe what I'm seeing. He gives you no useful information, or very little, and I'm sure he's got a key in his back and they wind him up before he goes on. Perhaps he's plugged into the mains between shows? Tonight the cat (very wisely) took one look at the TV screen when he was on, then headed for the back door, asking to escape to the garden. Pete tends to have that effect, and the cat's look of distain said it all. I do think you are right about why no action is taken over Pete's antics - for some perverse reason, he must be exactly what they want - but an information source he 'ain't.

Wirral70 said:

All the while he's 'performing' he isn't actually talking about what's on sale which I'm convinced is why they hired him.

But it does seem he's pretty popular with audiences. He's clearly much more popular than any of the old Ideal World presenters, or Mike Mason.

Doesn't say much for them :mysmilie_59:

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What annoys me is that he starts to tell you something but never finishes, but always says 'right?' at the end. They should lob custard pies at him when he goes off track or use those old style variety show canes that used to grab people offstage when the act was bombing

historymystery said:

I think people watch him for a laugh - it's morbid fascination, he is a living, breathing (I think) caricature of a shopping telly presenter, and I'm either laughing at his weird behaviour, really angry at his devious 'manipulations' or my jaw's on the floor in shock. It's deffo. car crash TV, I often cannot believe what I'm seeing. He gives you no useful information, or very little, and I'm sure he's got a key in his back and they wind him up before he goes on. Perhaps he's plugged into the mains between shows? Tonight the cat (very wisely) took one look at the TV screen when he was on, then headed for the back door, asking to escape to the garden. Pete tends to have that effect, and the cat's look of distain said it all. I do think you are right about why no action is taken over Pete's antics - for some perverse reason, he must be exactly what they want - but an information source he 'ain't.

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But how much useful information is there to give when the one item on screen, often for a whole hour, is on sale for the thousandth time? Even the website only tends to have a few lines of description for the said item.

The stooges are clearly now there merely to regurgitate the standard spiel 'we are very busy', 'xx% of the stock has gone', 'we're at the busiest part of the show' etc etc.

And of course the 'experts' are mostly dire. The quite, quite dreadful Shaun Crawley (mostly noted for his informative and highly detailed explanations of Big Sponge Mattresses and shat Bonded Leather muck) was on the other morning selling, I kid you not, China Coffee Cups and Picnic Baskets!

The on screen presentations are vacuous, repetitive, highly mundane and enough to make anyone other than the occasional viewer probably think 'sod this, what's the website address?' :mysmilie_59:

Guests are only there to explain the item, they don't actually work for the company (unless they say they do) and in fairness I've never heard the ones that travel from brand to brand say otherwise. Company's just pay someone to speak for them. I mean look at QVC, they've got that woman that goes from toe nail clippers to water fountains, and Gill Gauntlet that does virtually everything else, and Carla Lazlo, she speaks for about five different clothing ranges. I'd swap any IW guest with any ex Bidder any day of the week. :mysmilie_17:

As far as him finishing sentence with the word right is concerned a psychiatrist will tell you that people who do that are trying to be forcefully in control at least i think thats what it means not that i have been to one recently even if i do post on here ha ha incidentally PS was at the inuendo again on the garden show reading out an email about a lady who said she loved the show then said she wished it was longer a red rag to a bull for ps who replied something i have always wished for, eerie silence the garden guy not knowing what to say, don't know how he gets away with it.

They should partner him with Adina, presenter on Gems TV. She never finishes a word, let alone a sentence, constantly makes 'star shapes' with her hands and waves them around. He's hyper, so in a studio together they would probably end up knocking each other out. One thing's for sure, you'd be none the wiser about the product at the end. Great idea about pulling him off with the cane, Dr Quincy, but personally I favour the trap door method, as it's quicker (get digging a hole in the studio floor, IW)......

Dr Quincy said:

What annoys me is that he starts to tell you something but never finishes, but always says 'right?' at the end. They should lob custard pies at him when he goes off track or use those old style variety show canes that used to grab people offstage when the act was bombing

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:mysmilie_15::mysmilie_61: Love it! She's obviously a woman determined to be famous, whatever!

shopperholic said:

Guests are only there to explain the item, they don't actually work for the company (unless they say they do) and in fairness I've never heard the ones that travel from brand to brand say otherwise. Company's just pay someone to speak for them. I mean look at QVC, they've got that woman that goes from toe nail clippers to water fountains, and Gill Gauntlet that does virtually everything else, and Carla Lazlo, she speaks for about five different clothing ranges. I'd swap any IW guest with any ex Bidder any day of the week. :mysmilie_17:

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historymystery said:

:mysmilie_15::mysmilie_61: Love it! She's obviously a woman determined to be famous, whatever!

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Yeah talk about run the Gauntlet, she's got "QVC giz a presenters job" on her forehead :mysmilie_17:

Quite, Wirral. They are the equivalent of tailor's dummies, but less intelligent. And what's with this ruddy bonded leather they keep on flogging? Have they bought up the bonded leather 'mountain' that was out there? I honestly cannot see the point of having the channel on TV when it's repeato ditto all the time as far as products are concerned, and simply a 'vehicle' for presenters like Sob Story Shaun and Pope Pete to put on a 5th-rate comedy "turn". I'm gutted I missed Shaun selling cups and picnic baskets .......hang on, did he say anything about Gran or Dad having suffered untold trauma because they only had mugs from the Pound Shop to drink their tea from? No? Well, what an opportunity missed!!

Wirral70 said:

But how much useful information is there to give when the one item on screen, often for a whole hour, is on sale for the thousandth time? Even the website only tends to have a few lines of description for the said item.

The stooges are clearly now there merely to regurgitate the standard spiel 'we are very busy', 'xx% of the stock has gone', 'we're at the busiest part of the show' etc etc.

And of course the 'experts' are mostly dire. The quite, quite dreadful Shaun Crawley (mostly noted for his informative and highly detailed explanations of Big Sponge Mattresses and shat Bonded Leather muck) was on the other morning selling, I kid you not, China Coffee Cups and Picnic Baskets!

The on screen presentations are vacuous, repetitive, highly mundane and enough to make anyone other than the occasional viewer probably think 'sod this, what's the website address?' :mysmilie_59:

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historymystery said:

They surely need to look again at the medication...he was going hysterical over 2 palm plants and even the guest was looking at him as though he was crackers - as you say, all he does is talk in clichés and exclamations.....I was longing for the guest to stick Pete's head in the sack of compost to shut him up. I had to turn over, as the milk in my coffee had curdled in protest.

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:mysmilie_507: you made me laugh so much thank you :mysmilie_458:

I never thought I'd ever utter this sentence......"I actually feel sorry for the guests on IW when they are lumbered with Pope Pete".

caretodiffer said:

:mysmilie_507: you made me laugh so much thank you :mysmilie_458:

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historymystery said:

I think people watch him for a laugh - it's morbid fascination, he is a living, breathing (I think) caricature of a shopping telly presenter,

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You really nailed it! I watched him that first time in fascination, I did not know whether he was sincere or having a laugh,( like that French & Saunders video) then found he was definitely not having a laugh!

and I'm either laughing at his weird behaviour, really angry at his devious 'manipulations' or my jaw's on the floor in shock. It's deffo. car crash TV, I often cannot believe what I'm seeing. He gives you no useful information, or very little, and I'm sure he's got a key in his back and they wind him up before he goes on. Perhaps he's plugged into the mains between shows? Tonight the cat (very wisely) took one look at the TV screen when he was on, then headed for the back door, asking to escape to the garden. Pete tends to have that effect, and the cat's look of distain said it all. I do think you are right about why no action is taken over Pete's antics - for some perverse reason, he must be exactly what they want - but an information source he 'ain't.

Click to expand...

I think Loen must have the same effect as your cat, she must have run off from IW building!

shopperholic said:

The man is an absolute joke, got to give it to him though (and I don't just mean his P45) but never known anyone else who get through an hours work on just "ooh ahh" "just buy it!!" and the ever eloquent "not only.........."

Click to expand...

I looked in IW the other day when it was garden special and our Rev was so amazed at the bargain price that he was overcome and speechless, he asked the guest (a lady, I don't know her name) to carry on.
Then he stood there with that look of disbelief , with his usual , hands clasped, both forefingers on his closed lips....."so amazed at the cheap price "
Wow, what an act!!