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I used to like Katy but she’s become obsessed by her lips. There was nothing wrong with her own ones to start with. She’s on just now and she looks absolutely nothing like she looks in that ridiculous promo reel. Like two different people really.

My eyes kept being drawn to Awfelia’s distantly far hairline. It’s something else.

Peter says that gardening will be coming and we can look forward to getting Petulias and Misterias.

Well it’s either a reaction to Botox or he’s had a terrible blow to the forehead causing the black eyed look. I can’t quite decide but he looks terrible.

Peter looks like a reincarnation of Ming the Merciless.

OMG, I wasn’t imagining things earlier! When Pedro was bending over the vibro plate thing all I could see were the forehead bumps. He looks as if he’s going to sprout little horns from there.

Speaking of DT, I lodged another complaint against him and his dubious claims again with the ASA today during a presentation. Troff spent ages talking about mutton fat jade and about its high value. When the item finally appeared it was Serpentine. Aka false jade. I have had enough of that chancer.

Mark is selling the Gammon again now and has assiduously avoided actually saying its name lol. He hasn’t ONCE said it. Even he finds it embarrassing.

Just now watching Dave drone on and on about mutton fat jade but it’s Hattie and her utterly manic performance that’s so spellbinding. She just can’t stay still for any length of time can she? Her head is always moving and she’s another one who can’t speak without the need to gesture every...

They’re showing the poplin shirt horror with a back that ,to me looks like a Mac. They didn’t even give the model the correct size and it showed. Ridiculous.

What a total car crash that was with Von Volauvent trying and trying to get the cable connected. Probably due to his gigantic fingers.

Carmel is selling Laurelle Body Mist and it’s the cheapest looking product in the way that it’s been packaged and bottled. It certainly wouldn’t entice me to buy it. Very uninspired and boring in its presentation by the makers. Just like the clear EDP priced at £8.99. In other words it looks as...

Didn’t know which fred to put this on but I’m currently watching Lorna Ko BA and it’s dizzying how many times she says Literally. About five minutes in I gave up counting. It’s a really bad habit and completely unnecessary most of the time.

Speaking of Transylvania, Natalia looks like she’s just stepped out of a Hammer Horror film circa 1970.

Yesterday there was a large Ascher cut zircon in 18 ct gold with 16 small diamond accents and you could immediately see the vast difference between the two gems. To me only the diamonds gave any real sparkle. I don’t think I ever saw both in one ring before but it looked bizarre to me.

It releases the pores, sebum is produced in the ‘spacious’ glands, the oxidisation of the air around us etc… It’s a facial intensification sauna?? Not only a procedure. He keeps saying it releases the pores lol. Peter is making it up as he goes trying to sell a simple basic facial steamer. Avoid...

Ellis is now presenting a collection of AA tanzanite jewellery. She of course couldn’t help herself and said that even though it was described as being AA on the certificates she believes that most jewellers would say it was AAA! She always does this even though it’s obviously AA. They can’t...

Oh dear, just now switched on to get an eyeful of Natalia’s now very scary face. She has so much lipstick on her upper lip that it looks like a moustache.

Jess has just said that the pearls she's selling today are the very last pearls in their vault. She's also declared that there are NO pearls coming out of China ATM which I simply don't believe. She's said literally about ten times in the last few minutes as ever. Sorry, make that every minute.

Miss Transylvania is currently draping herself over an Opatra device oohing and aahing when the lights change colour. The comparison price is £6.998 against their £949. She mentioned that if you have a bungalow it won’t take up much space. Really? Hasn’t she heard of two or three bedrooms in a...