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  1. H

    Random musings and general banter.

    Last known sighting of Hammy from Aberdeen forwarding a text to Ideal World, warning viewers of atrocious weather conditions and urging them to buy a fleece and hand warmers...and Gammon fragrance to keep their spirits up.
  2. H

    Random musings and general banter.

    Peter read out a text from 'Hammy' who had bought the cushion (as Muttley predicted) for his walks. The story went that Hammy uses it on benches, with Peter agreeing that this was a fantastic idea. It's hard to keep up with Hammy's Ideal World hiking clobber.
  3. H

    Random musings and general banter.

    Hammy was supposed to have said of Gammon, "One spray and you're away". Of course the same could be said of a cat.
  4. H

    Random musings and general banter.

    For someone most certainly in the twilight of his career, his performances on Ideal World are more turkey than swan song. A parody of a parody. I suspect Dr Lobitov has advised him to forsake any professional pride and “keep taking the cash”. Seasonal Greetings to all forum members. Your posts...
  5. H

    Random musings and general banter.

    Imagining a situation where Hammy releases a book sponsored by Ideal World and with a foreword by Peter Simon...
  6. H

    Random musings and general banter.

    I was dissapointed that they didn't pad out the text with Hammy ending his walk, saying hello to his Tiffany-style lamp, hanging up his cane in the hallway, and stripping off his cashmere fleece and scarf, before heading to the conservatory for a well-earned rest and reflection on another epic...
  7. H

    Random musings and general banter.

    Peter Simon was flogging some tacky Tiffany-style rip-off lamps earlier, with the seemingly inevitable 'Hammy from Aberdeen' text announcement. There followed a nonsense tale with Hammy imagining one of these lamps in his front window, welcoming him back from a winter's walk! There doesn't seem...
  8. H

    Random musings and general banter.

    I heard the reference to cashmere scarves and Hammy on his coastal walk. So far they've got you in a full body fleece, a cashmere scarf, and bounding along with one of those super duper canes. No danger of you getting cold and you'll be rock steady on your walks. All bases covered thanks to...
  9. H

    Random musings and general banter.

    Came back from my morning walk, turned on Ideal and Shona was reading out a text from none other than 'Hammy from Aberdeen' who apparently wears his recently bought Fleece Sherpa on coastal walks. Perhaps they should consider paying the real Hammy a royalty every time they use his name.
  10. H

    Random musings and general banter.

    Tuned in during the final part of the Swan & Edgar show and Simon's sidekick was reading out a complimentary email from a certain Jack Goff. It can't be a coincidence that they had messages from Ivor Hardy and Jack Goff, as well as names clearly lifted from this forum.
  11. H

    Random musings and general banter.

    With the demise of Ideal World and (seemingly) no place for him in its budget replacement, could Hollywood provide one last throw of the dice for Saint Peter of Simon…
  12. H

    Random musings and general banter.

    Thanks to Muttley (get well soon) and Hammy for the kind comments. Hammy is correct when he says that the post was grounded in reality. Whether it's Peter Simon's bizarre showbiz recollections or Kevinski's tall tales, the truth-or lack of it-is generally stranger than fiction at Ideal World.
  13. H

    Random musings and general banter.

    I made a few amendments and an addition to a post I uploaded earlier this year to take account of Mason's highly prized Nubeo watch and the special circumstances behind its delivery...that was covered by precisely no one apart from Mason himself. Apologies for a 'repeat' post, just thought that...
  14. H

    Random musings and general banter.

    I caught a few minutes of that show. When I saw the new presenter my first thoughts were, It's Mr Bean selling a Beem coffee machine (the brand name). I suspect Mason was having a laugh when he suggested that he was stirring up the passions of certain viewers.
  15. H

    Random musings and general banter.

    It is likely that such an important conference would have been attended by Peter Simon's oft-mentioned physician, Dr Lobitoff. I find it amusing that she mentions '300 doctors', as though the amount of doctors adds to the credibility of the conference.
  16. H

    Random musings and general banter.

    Peter Simon was reminiscing about his supposed friendship and working relationship with the late Tommy Cooper on the ITV Sodastream show last night. As usual this consisted of vague references, with no specific details that could be verified. There is a definite patttern when Peter Simon...
  17. H

    Random musings and general banter.

    Never mind the CBD, judging by those pictures he looks like he's in serious need of CPR. Talk about death warmed up.
  18. H

    Random musings and general banter.

    Well said. Methinks Mr Locke has a bit of a complex with his shopping telly role, hence the regular-and tedious- "not my real job" disclaimer. Could it be that the management have him pegged as an eventual replacement for Peter Simon, when he is eventually put out to pasture? They may see some...
  19. H

    Random musings and general banter.

    Thank you for the likes and comments for my latest post. Appreciated.
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