I'm 58 years old and I went on a works do this Sunday which involved a fair bit of alcohol, all the ladies in the group were in their 50's and 60's. Some of them became extremely loud and when they started eyeing up and making loud suggestive comments about a group of lads sitting nearby (30 somethings at a guess), I started to feel a little embarrassed and uncomfortable. I didn't join in the conversation and was glad when the guys got up and left. The conversation then turned to vibrators, sexual conquests and pleasuring oneself, seriously I found it quite distressing. Again I didn't join in the conversation and when one of the other ladies said she'd better go as she had an early start, I also made my excuses and left. I'm all for having fun at my age, but I want to grow older gracefully. Is it just me who's the old fuddy duddy? I'm not quite ready for the knitting circle, but I'm certainly not into this sort of thing!!!
Am I a prude? Or is this vulgar!
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loveallthingsitalian
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Not at all Merry. 2 things to ask themselves - (a) if the sexes had been the other way around would they have found it ok and (b) if it was their son or daughter would it have been the same joke.
I like to think I’m not a prude but I would have been very uncomfortable.
I like to think I’m not a prude but I would have been very uncomfortable.
Thanks Lati, I'm glad I'm not alone here, I never thought about it from that perspective but you're right. I dunno, I just think there are certain topics of conversation that don't need to be discussed in public and for me that's one of them. When I was in my teens, yes my friends and I would have many a vulgar conversation, but we were young and not exactly versed in etiquette. Drink obviously makes people a lot less inhibited, I get that, but I'd like to think that I wasn't embarrassing myself or other people.
maymorganlondon
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I'm not sure that it's any worse than male "banter" about younger attractive women... but we all have the right to choose not to participate.
In both situations it's demeaning and objectifying other people... and also demeaning themselves in the process.
In both situations it's demeaning and objectifying other people... and also demeaning themselves in the process.
I guess when there's a fairly big crowd of people and there's alcohol involved then things do have a tendency to become quite loud and conversation won't necessarily be the same as what it might be on a "coffee date". I'm all for putting the world to rights over a drink, but you know me, I'm not the biggest fan of group activity anyway. I agree to go to these things out of politeness and knowing that despite everything, it is nice to be included, it means people have thought about you and that means a lot to me. The night itself was a Whitney Houston tribute concert (it was free which was a plus) as it wouldn't have been something I'd have particularly wanted to see. I loved her voice, enjoyed the Bodyguard film and bought the soundtrack back in the day, but other than that her music didn't really do a lot for me. For me, I had the usual task of trying to feign enjoyment, whooping in the right places, and obeying when told to get up and dance (whilst feeling really awkward). Did I enjoy the evening? No not really, am I glad I went? Yes, because it keeps me in the loop and maybe one day I'll be invited to something that I really really want to do and heaven forbid - I might even enjoy myself lol!
