OH and I have recently enjoyed a couple of stays at a fantastic Victorian B&B which is fairly near. I showed all the pics to my friends and they were really impressed. One of them suggested that perhaps we could take a girlie weekend with a mutual friend. All the rooms are double, bar one that's a twin, so as we are a party of three we'd need to discuss logistics. I told her that there's a room I really want to stay in so I would be happy to pay for that in full (prices are £100 per room incl breakfast). She had a look at the website and said I'll share the twin room with Karen. She showed Karen and she said yes sounds like a great idea. We have now sorted out a date and were about try and book, when she announced whilst were out having a drink...oh I hope you don't mind, I've asked my sister if she'd like to come, it's fine cause we can share a double bed, I'm just waiting for her to let me know whether that date's good for her, and before I could even take a breath she was on the phone to her sister who said yes, that'd be great!!! I now am expected to share the twin room with Karen as I can't expect her to pay an extra £50. Sharing's not the problem. It's the fact I can't now have the room I wanted to stay in and I think adding people to plans is really bad form - I'm pretty damned cross to be honest. My mate's sister is lovely but that's not the point. Why couldn't she have stuck to plan and then perhaps stayed again on a later date with her sister?! Grrrrr!
Bad form
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maymorganlondon
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You're just too good-natured, and I have no doubt your friends know this!
What a shame for you, though.
Yes, and I think I need to learn to become a bit more assertive. Thanks for the kind words though.
maymorganlondon
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And the annoying thing is you can't make your feelings clear without ruining the getaway for everyone else!
We all have our little quirks and mine is unless it's a party or a works do I prefer to see people socially on a one to one basis or a very small group. The "more the merrier" mentality just doesn't work for me, it just causes logistical problems and it stresses me out. A typical example was this. A work colleague by huge coincidence was a close friend of one of my dearest friends. Before this friend relocated to Wales a few years ago, we'd regularly go out for coffee and meals together. I really miss my friend and we sadly lost touch after she moved. The work colleague recently went on her 6 months sabbatical that she earned and suggested that perhaps we could get hold of Gina and go and visit her in wales or arrange a trip to London where we could meet. I thought this was a great idea. I managed to get hold of Gina and she was really pleased to hear from me again and we both apologised for not keeping in contact. She said that the London trip wouldn't be great for her as she is waiting for a hip replacement op but would be more than happy to put the both of us up. I contacted Mai, my colleague to say that she can put us up and all I got was a whole load of excuses, I get travel sickness, I was traumatised when I got stranded in Dubai once. I said "we're only going to Cardiff on a train and we'll be together! She said I'd do London though, I told her that Gina said that she couldn't cope with that because of her hip. I said don't worry I'll go and see Gina on my own no problem! I said but if you fancy a shopping trip to London before you return to work, name the day..and she said yes that'll be nice. Then she sent me another message reeling off a whole list of people from work we could invite - I just said do you know what, just give me a ring if you fancy meeting up for a coffee sometime! She said ok, and I've heard nothing more. To be honest I'm not that bothered but it would've been nice, why do people have to overcomplicate things? Looking forward to see Gina in a few weeks time though!
loveallthingsitalian
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People are either thoughtless or plain bad mannered.
likewise people invited to a sit down meal (so not a free for all food wise) who arrive with an extra person causing frantic reshuffling of food only to find they are vegan/allergic to just about everything.
likewise people invited to a sit down meal (so not a free for all food wise) who arrive with an extra person causing frantic reshuffling of food only to find they are vegan/allergic to just about everything.
In this case thoughtless as I would like to think if she had actually given any thought to the original plan, she'd realise that an extra person would upset the dynamics and change the sleeping arrangements. If I'm invited to something and it doesn't matter what it is, unless I'm specifically told the invite's for me and OH or a plus one then I'll only take myself along. I've gave up hosting dinner parties years ago, as I had the opposite problem, in people crying off at the last minute with feeble excuses and in one case not turning up at all because they'd forgotten - Charming!
maymorganlondon
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With the current situation... I was thinking a bit more, and I wonder if the friend who invited her sister was actually worried about the unfairness of you having to pay more for your weekend away? She may genuinely think she's doing you a favour by making the cost lower? Just an alternative thought.
Well it's actually worked out how I'd like it as Karen came round to mine to have a look at the website as she doesn't have a pc or laptop and I mentioned how I really wanted to stay in that particular room and she said she was gonna ask whether anyone objected to her fella coming along just to stay in the hotel but not do the girly bit 'cause he's working in the day (he's a taxi driver). So that's been agreed, so we've got a room for one friend and her sister, Karen and her fella and me in the room I wanted so yay - very happy!
maymorganlondon
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That's fabulous news! Have a wonderful time without any feeling of resentment or annoyance to dampen it down.
