How to Wash Yourself!

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Grizelda

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Yesterday, the BA for Australian Body Care (good products, incidentally) was instructing us (all genders, she was quick to add) how to wash our 'intimate' areas, specifically our bums. Really get in there, she advised. All the ladies on the sofa next to her nodded in agreement, po faced as could be. It was very funny.
 
Excellent. I am ever grateful for the helpful instructions QVC provide on the website under “How to use”.
  • Once in the shower, put a little gel in your hand
  • Apply to wet skin and work into a lather
  • Rinse off
I print these off and read them every now and then to remind myself. Thank goodness for QVC and I look forward to the added instructions being included in the descriptions for all-gender intimate products.
  • Pour a generous amount into your hand or onto bottle brush
  • Apply to nether regions and work into a lather
  • Really get in there
  • Rinse off
 
Yesterday, the BA for Australian Body Care (good products, incidentally) was instructing us (all genders, she was quick to add) how to wash our 'intimate' areas, specifically our bums. Really get in there, she advised. All the ladies on the sofa next to her nodded in agreement, po faced as could be. It was very funny.
I wish I hadn't read that whilst having my lunch🤑
 
I'd start off with a pressure washer to get rid of the worst! Seriously how filthy do they think our backsides are? and who do they think they are, the bliddy "bottom inspectors"?! If they trying to flog a gentle product to use around the ol' chocolate factory doors then "get right in there" isn't exactly gonna sell it to me!"
 
I'd start off with a pressure washer to get rid of the worst! Seriously how filthy do they think our backsides are? and who do they think they are, the bliddy "bottom inspectors"?! If they trying to flog a gentle product to use around the ol' chocolate factory doors then "get right in there" isn't exactly gonna sell it to me!"

Hilarious - especially the bit on the chocolate factory doors 😂
 
I bet Gwyneth Paltrow has a few devices to give everything a good clean out! Probably a bargain at £100🤣

I'd start off with a pressure washer to get rid of the worst! Seriously how filthy do they think our backsides are? and who do they think they are, the bliddy "bottom inspectors"?! If they trying to flog a gentle product to use around the ol' chocolate factory doors then "get right in there" isn't exactly gonna sell it to me!"
Do you reckon QVC will start offering colonic irrigation services? Don't fancy watching them demonstrate it though😱
 
My middle son`s partner is a doctor and when she was training and did her A and E rotation you wouldn`t believe the number of patients they had with errrr "items" literally stuck up their orifices. If there was a hole, no matter how big or how small, there was always someone who would shove something in it and get it stuck.
My brother was a fire officer for many years until he retired and there were more than a few occasions over a 30 year career that his crew attended something along similar lines to the above but usually involving bigger items or a contraption of some sort.
The World`s gone mad !
 
Surely we all have these fitted in every bathroom in all our homes. The higher the water pressure the better the job it does. Although it can leave one feeling quite unnecessary at times...
L-2021-6-1--10-26-6-618.jpg
 
My middle son`s partner is a doctor and when she was training and did her A and E rotation you wouldn`t believe the number of patients they had with errrr "items" literally stuck up their orifices. If there was a hole, no matter how big or how small, there was always someone who would shove something in it and get it stuck.
My brother was a fire officer for many years until he retired and there were more than a few occasions over a 30 year career that his crew attended something along similar lines to the above but usually involving bigger items or a contraption of some sort.
The World`s gone mad !
A man I knew worked in x-ray and the stories he could tell about things people pushed up.

Ones I remember, a woman with 500mls coke bottle pushed so far up herself it took an operation to get it out. A man whose girlfriend thought it would be fun to push a daisy with a stem up his penis. Now, as we know, daisy stems have little hairs on them. A and E visit.
 
Yesterday, the BA for Australian Body Care (good products, incidentally) was instructing us (all genders, she was quick to add) how to wash our 'intimate' areas, specifically our bums. Really get in there, she advised. All the ladies on the sofa next to her nodded in agreement, po faced as could be. It was very funny.
😆😆😆😆 FGS🤦🏻‍♀️ .
 
A man I knew worked in x-ray and the stories he could tell about things people pushed up.

Ones I remember, a woman with 500mls coke bottle pushed so far up herself it took an operation to get it out. A man whose girlfriend thought it would be fun to push a daisy with a stem up his penis. Now, as we know, daisy stems have little hairs on them. A and E visit.
No wonder it always so busy at A and E lol
 

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