Random musings and general banter.

[Hammy60]

I think he said to him words to the effect that he should be the ‘fairy on top’ on a Christmas tree in the studio, which in these times is clearly not on. Howard seemed upset by it - replying along the lines of ‘you are not allowed to say things like that these days. Never saw him (Lloyd) again after that show. Though he may well have continued to be on the channel after that.

Never saw that.

I remember seeing something about Lloyd wanting to concentrate more in the managerial/operating side of things of his business rather than demonstration side on TV. Although he has a flashy looking web site, accounts filed last year look like his business did nothing. Wondering if it didn't really take off as he had hoped.

As for Howard, found him unwatchable, he was another of those annoying presenter who loved the sound of his own voice and didn't know when to shut up.

 

[SiRich]

Now January is out of the way, early runners and riders for the 2023 upstanding individual award's (co sponsored by trotters independent traders and by a ‘world class’ heritage brand no one has ever heard of) in no particular order.

1.Jelly Neck/Rubber head aka mr trolly doly
2. Alright Gaaaaang, Richard Head.
3. Class act (if you require a buffoon), Simione Petr.
4. GTLS fanboy, Igors smirking best mate
5. Rentagob (Pie on Legs) , Basement Jax

 

[Deleted member 21838]

I’m sure I just saw one of the participants in the Barbour dog clothing show urinate over the studio floor. No, not the Irish lady presenter or Alex the Stingray puppet. It was Doug, a black pug with a full bladder - well, it was full. Perhaps they can book Doug the pug for other IW shows where he can urinate over the cheap watches on display, and also over one or two of the more unpleasant presenters, and worse to Simon Peters.

 

[Keep Going]

Ex fitness guru Tim is on the "lump all the old sh1te we cant get rid of no matter what we say!" hour, Tim really has been studying the IW big book of bullsh1t tales. He has a story he can personally relate to everything he is trying to flog in this hour!

Oh look its the Hard Rock cocktail cans back AGAIN!!! apparently these are flyyyyyying out, cut to Simone Pedro on a previous hour telling us Virgin gave IW very very very few of these Hard Rock Cocktails and they will sell out......but alas as per poor old Tim has to conjour up some story about when he was at a wedding in Italy and everyone was ordering cocktails.........5 mins later the ex fitness guru is then demonstrating a clothes dryer!!!

I really am wondering if we are starting to see the start of the end for IW, The rubbish they CANT flog......how long can a business keep that going??

 

[Deleted member 21838]

Those cocktails in tins have apparently have won some sort of prize (Longest Period Ever to Not Sell Out?). I had a scout around trying to find any validation of those claims, but at present, have drawn a blank.

There are some distinctly mediocre items they are trying to sell at present - cheap bedding, unknown makes air fryers, Christmas cracker watches, horse riding related kit for couch potatoes, the air humidifier that burns brighter than the Olympic Torch - it never goes out of the warehouse, and heaps more of stuff you wouldn’t be seen dead having. The £1.99 screen wash empty plastic container is probably the worst item I have ever seen in all my years of watching shopping television. Worse even than the plastic talking haddock in a frame, relentlessly hawked during the very early days of the channel.

 

[WinnieWhippet]

Those cocktails in tins have apparently have won some sort of prize (Longest Period Ever to Not Sell Out?). I had a scout around trying to find any validation of those claims, but at present, have drawn a blank.

There are some distinctly mediocre items they are trying to sell at present - cheap bedding, unknown makes air fryers, Christmas cracker watches, horse riding related kit for couch potatoes, the air humidifier that burns brighter than the Olympic Torch - it never goes out of the warehouse, and heaps more of stuff you wouldn’t be seen dead having. The £1.99 screen wash empty plastic container is probably the worst item I have ever seen in all my years of watching shopping television. Worse even than the plastic talking haddock in a frame, relentlessly hawked during the very early days of the channel.

Missed the presentation on the empty container but surprised to see they still have some for sale. £3.99 for postage and packing - unbelievable!!

 

[harrytumkins]

Joanne Vandermerwe-Mahon as we speak has just turned up on TJC​

This is annoying as I am quite enjoying Tjc at the moment, minutes in she is talking over Marina Berry

 

[harrytumkins]

I think he said to him words to the effect that he should be the ‘fairy on top’ on a Christmas tree in the studio, which in these times is clearly not on. Howard seemed upset by it - replying along the lines of ‘you are not allowed to say things like that these days. Never saw him (Lloyd) again after that show. Though he may well have continued to be on the channel after that.

This was a bit weird

LLoyd turned up on TJC quite early on when Andy Hodgson had, they had an evening launch show for the waterless wash unfortunately
it happened to be on the evening Boris announced the first lockdown. They did a massive long demo with no options to buy and you could audibly hear Andy telling a producer something along the lines of "keep the price high" obviously as nobody bar me was watching.
I can't remember the exact price but it was something silly like 49.99 for the usual 20 quid Ideal did back in the day (not sure now as haven't watched Ideal in a long time very dull the last time I did )

Anyway weirdly it has never turned up on a live show (pretty sure as they give products plenty of chances) and has remained on the website at a very high price forever since.

I kept thinking it would turn up last spring/summer but never did, they haven;t shown any alternatives which is strange for a channel which will sell anything and everything.

No idea what actually happened if they judged the sales on that evening slot it had no chance maybe Lloyd didn't like the way they dealt with it and the aftermath but I am just guessing.

 

[harrytumkins]

You will be pleased that within 28 minutes we have had various mentions of her Mum her Dad her wonderful husband

Tbf she did give Ideal a bit of a good word early on saying she had many great years there

 

[VapidStoat]

Joanne Vandermerwe-Mahon as we speak has just turned up on TJC​

This is annoying as I am quite enjoying Tjc at the moment, minutes in she is talking over Marina Berry

That's spooky! I was only thinking about Joanne Vandervalk-Whatever the other day, when I accidentally landed on IW just as Sally Jacks was gurning at the camera. In close up. I nearly broke the TV remote and my wrist changing channels.

I thought to myself "I wish she'd beggar off* like that really annoying Howard and Joanne did"


*It may have been a slightly different phrase ending in 'off'

 

[Deleted member 21838]

The Lemonade Twins (Fizz and Fart) selling that wretched £10 fleece again. It must cost the company more in heat and light in the studio for this presentation, plus staff pay, than any money they make potentially. That said, maybe they could turn off the heat and Joe 90 and Shrek could wrap it around themselves. You do definitely begin to wonder if they are struggling for anything new to sell.

 

[harrytumkins]

I think I said a long time ago on here Ideal seem lost

Ended up catching the £10 fleece last night a few things

That is 100% cheaper than TJC would sell that currently (£19.99 maybe £14.99 at a push)

However having numerous 1 hour long shows just on that seems bizarre, definitely looks to me like they are trying the lower margin higher volume route of TJC. This is ironic as TJC has/are gradually moving away from that model various times bigwigs have said on air it just isn't feasible to bring a product for £10 everyday on-screen and make money in 2023.

 

[Deleted member 21838]

I agree.

Let‘s say they sell 500 (and I think that’s being extremely generous) in one show. That’s £5495 in revenue for the fleeces and 500 x £2.99 for the postage - that’s £6990 for the hour/45 mins. Assuming they pay between £4 and £6 cost - £2000 at the lower figure and have some mass postage deal with the courier at say, 99p an item - that’s £499 in postage costs - that leaves £4500. Factor in two presenters costs - £50 to £100 each, say, for one show, the studio staff, the gallery production team, the call centre workers, the studio running costs, the packaging costs, warehouse staff to pick and pack, the warehouse distribution costs, the general channel costs on top of that.. I don’t think that is going to leave much left at the end.. Equally, if they sell 100 fleeces or less, I imagine they are losing money significantly.

 

[Deleted member 21838]

That's spooky! I was only thinking about Joanne Vandervalk-Whatever the other day, when I accidentally landed on IW just as Sally Jacks was gurning at the camera. In close up. I nearly broke the TV remote and my wrist changing channels.

I thought to myself "I wish she'd beggar off* like that really annoying Howard and Joanne did"


*It may have been a slightly different phrase ending in 'off'

With a voice like a foghorn on speed dial, and with nothing ever worth hearing to say, she was a real pain in several ars…bottoms. One of those people that can only bear to hear the sound of their own voice, and nobody else’s.

 

[Muttley]

Pantomime time on IW, Sally making a right fuss/show of ordering multiple items on air with her phone while she supposed to be presenting. Of course it's all an act to encourage the brain dead to follow her lead and get ordering.

Any normal company selling goods wouldn't allow their staff to act in such an unprofessional manner, it's very inappropriate and rude for sales staff to be buying products when they are supposed to be serving/assissting customers, which viewers are during these show, it's not like there aren't enough off screen hours today for Sally, me, me, me, to place her orders without the whole pantomime act.

I'm very confused. Doesn't Mikey 'Diamond Geezer' Mason regularly bemoan the fact that he may not have the opportunity to buy whatever piece of tat he is selling because it is selling so quickly?

If I go into John Lewis to pay for something I don't have to wait for the sales assistant to finish paying for their own shopping. Hang on, I've just realised I've compared Ideal World to John Lewis, I think I need a lie down...

 

[harrytumkins]

One of the things I like about TJC is you do get the odd bit of honesty seeping out especially when Anshu is on air, someone texted in saying why can't there be more £10 days like there used to be twice a week

He bluntly as is his want sometimes said in order for TJC to make any money on a £10 product roughly speaking they would have to be paying £2/£2.50 and now they can't get that wholesale price.

Now TJC seems a lot more streamlined in expenses than Ideal does (hardly any crew poor graphics shows often put together whilst on air)

So I would imagine again Ideal would be struggling at the £2 level and like you say they must be paying £3/£3.5 absolute minimum in 2023 for those probably a lot more.

The great advantage TJC has because they have done it for years is on air flexibility if a genre of product just isn't selling they pivot sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't but at least they try, having the schedule so fixed just can't work for me unless you are QVC and you have premium known brands and the excellent reputation to fall back on.

 

[harrytumkins]

I'm very confused. Doesn't Mikey 'Diamond Geezer' Mason regularly bemoan the fact that he may not have the opportunity to buy whatever piece of tat he is selling because it is selling so quickly?

If I go into John Lewis to pay for something I don't have to wait for the sales assistant to finish paying for their own shopping. Hang on, I've just realised I've compared Ideal World to John Lewis, I think I need a lie down...

What happened to the famous Farraday cage or whatever they used to call it?!

 

[Hammy60]

I agree.

Let‘s say they sell 500 (and I think that’s being extremely generous) in one show. That’s £5495 in revenue for the fleeces and 500 x £2.99 for the postage - that’s £6990 for the hour/45 mins. Assuming they pay between £4 and £6 cost - £2000 at the lower figure and have some mass postage deal with the courier at say, 99p an item - that’s £499 in postage costs - that leaves £4500. Factor in two presenters costs - £50 to £100 each, say, for one show, the studio staff, the gallery production team, the call centre workers, the studio running costs, the packaging costs, warehouse staff to pick and pack, the warehouse distribution costs, the general channel costs on top of that.. I don’t think that is going to leave much left at the end.. Equally, if they sell 100 fleeces or less, I imagine they are losing money significantly.

I remember a few years back on one of their corporate sites that sold air time on IW, they used to have a price they would charge companies for a 1 hour show, it would be for shows where IW weren't actually selling the product but acting like a 1 hour commercial ie Emma mattresses, the will/pension/legal attorney shows, cost covered studio and a presenter and if i remember it was something like £14,000.

 

[harrytumkins]

I remember a few years back on one of their corporate sites that sold air time on IW, they used to have a price they would charge companies for a 1 hour show, it would be for shows where IW weren't actually selling the product but acting like a 1 hour commercial ie Emma mattresses, the will/pension/legal attorney shows, cost covered studio and a presenter and if i remember it was something like £14,000.

Are they doing the same for example with Under Armour shows like they had today?

Our Hayley telling people to wear specifically designed expensive sportswear "around the house" was enough for me to turn off

Not sure the brand would be delighted with that sales technique either

 

[Jazzydrury]

I must admit I dont watch IW very much, but I tuned in last night, it was Peter V and a new presenter who Ive never seen before selling air purifers

Going back to howard, if they had a food hour, he was always on about bowl movements, ooh I cant eat anything, as Im blocked up, he also used to name drop especially Katherine Jenkins