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An elderly farmer received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would send an inspector to interview them.

On the appointed day, the inspector turned up.

"Well," said the farmer, "there's the farm hand, I pay him £240 a week, and he has a free cottage.

Then there's the housekeeper. She gets £190 a week, along with free board and lodging.

There's also the half-wit. He works a 16 hour day, does 90% of the work, earns about £25 a week along with a bottle of whisky and, as a special treat, occasionally gets to sleep with my wife."

"That's disgraceful" said the inspector, "I need to interview the half-wit."

"That'll be me then," he said!
 
Ooooh, Strato! I was just thinking of you.

Either Aldi or Lidl has an omelette maker coming up soon. I'll check and get back.
 
Mother superior tells two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes.

One nun suggests to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door."

So they do this, and begin painting their room.

Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?" "Blind man!"

The nuns look at each other and one nun says, "He's blind, so he can't see. What could it hurt?"

They let him in. The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice breasts. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"
 

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