the ways IW (and other channels) insult your intelligence

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cheeky chappie

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Jan 2, 2013
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tbh i'm rarely on any of the channels these days, yes i hop on in-between watching proper telly or during ad breaks etc, but QVC never did it for me and even though i used to quite enjoy IW those days are gone, after a few minutes watching i'm more than ready to return to bbc itv or whatever.

i'll also say as i've said before in other posts, to me the days of shopping channels like QVC and IW must surely be limited. as the tech/internet savvy generations get older and start to replace those currently in their 50s, 60s, 70s etc, they will rarely if ever buy from shopping channels. why? cause by default a high % of younger generations automatically check online for the best price. so unless shopping channels are giving genuine bargains, folk will increasingly not buy from them. and you'll notice, with some of the so-called 'bargains' on IW, if you hop online you'll often find the item cheaper elsewhere.

anyways, some things that annoy me, some of these insult a viewers intelligence, others are just plain annoying :) and yes i appreciate they are their to sell and aren't going to be 'honest' in that sense and that other retailers have underhand tactics as well, but the following still annoy me ...

1. the price comparisons. anyone can pick three retailers that are (much more) expensive, what they're not comparing with are the dozens of retailers either around the same price ... or cheaper!
2. 'it's yours for £25, it's yours for £25!!' no it's not, it's mine for £80, 3 x £25 flexi pays and £5 p&p.
3. 'just buy it ... just buy it!! why? cause it's such a 'bargain'?
4. look, we're trying to burn cheese in the pan, we've NEVER tried that before ...
5. look, we're comparing our product with another product that looks as though it's literally been through an SAS assault course and then run over by a steam-roller.
6. (presenters) i've seen this demo 1000 times but i'll still act AMAZED!
7. 'of course' .. 'of course' .. 'actually' .. 'of course' .. 'actually' .. actually' .. 'of course' .. 'of course' - Genevieve
8. i'm selling you an exercise bike although i look as though i use one every other year for 2 mins and sound as though i smoke 20 a day - Loen
9. 'just buy it, just BUY IT!!' .. 'NOOOOOOOOooooooooooo!!!! REALLY?!?' - Peter
10. i talk as though i'm in a state of permanent arousement - Dennice
11. ain't i a cheeky chappie :) - Mike
12. did i tell you i worked on cruise ships? - Paul
13. 'you're saving £££ off our usual price!!!!!' yeah cause we're going to buy your stuff at the 'usual price' just like we do with other retailers that offer continuous sale/low/money off offers!
14. 'you're saving more than you're spending!!!!' yeah cause you've just shown us a flawed sum of the items at their 'usual price' giving an artificially high total.
15. use of the words 'last chance.' really? you're NEVER selling that product again (e.g. 2 days later) at an equally low price? REALLY?!?
16. we're selling you a food processor with 15 attachments today, even though yesterday we sold you a nutri-bullet or whatever and told you it was SO much better than a food processor and hinted only a fool would buy a food processor when all the attachments aren't required and end up getting lost or gathering dust at the back of a kitchen cupboard.
17. complete ABUSE of the english language by presenters e.g. 'that's AMAZING/AWESOME/OUT OF THIS WORLD/STUNNING' etc etc. really? looks like a £39.99 box standard handheld vac to me???
18. we're just going to demo and try to sell you the same 10 products for the next decade ... stick around :)
19. we show you a vacuum picking up a bowling ball ... what we don't tell you is almost ANY vacuum device will do this with the big suction cup thingy we use.
20. any item you currently use/own in your life that's the same as the item we're selling you now is COMPLETE AND UTTER RUBBISH ... you NEED to buy this item NOW cause the one you bought (maybe even from us 5 days ago) is COMPLETE and UTTER CACK ... quick, don't delay ...... JUST BUY IT :)

think that about covers it ...
 
You missed buy this it will change your life HG has had her life changed so many times its frightening,but i think you have covered most of their nonsense you can go and lie down in a dark room now:mysmilie_13:
 
Also missed - "Immmmmmm soooooooo excited to be bringing you this", and a particular grating every time I hear it - "this product has changed my life". What the WHAT!!!
PUUURLEEES give the viewers a break for a change - now that would change "MY" life. :mysmilie_17:
 
Great points :)
Yes, Hayley and her 97 LIFE changing products get on my hoobs a lot. The channel and the presenters are at best patronising, at worst...... I'll say no more.
As I've said on here at least 3 times, Dirty Peter is the funniest thing and most watchable about this channel, why oh why they don't just go to repeats 90% of the time is beyond me, think of all those wages they could save!! After all, it IS the same demo's every time, I don't doubt every one of us who post on here could word for word do a Tower pans demo :p
 
8. i'm selling you an exercise bike although i look as though i use one every other year for 2 mins and sound as though i smoke 20 a day - Loen [/QUOTE said:
Isn't that the point through, it's ridiculous when the likes of Howard or Mike (who obviously work out a lot) are telling us how great some tat like that bike you sit on for hours is, when they neither need to or would want to use it.
 
Here are some more:

21. Telling us how bad juicing is for us due to the sugar content and lack of fibre for the past 6 months, then selling a juicer and telling us it's the best thing since sliced bread.
22. Dennice claiming every other week that a different product has helped her lose weight.
23. Those before and after photos, taken in different lighting conditions and no evidence they have used the product. This includes Dennice's selfies.
24. The models confirming what the presenter is saying, when do models talk? On Ideal World.
25. Saying 'I'm going to be honest with you now'
26. Janice teaching people how to use the Internet
27. Selling a product based on a third party application like Skype and that awful 'OK Google' because the product is a bit rubbish.
28. Telling us to check out the reviews on the website on certain items, not all, I wonder why.
29. 'Vox Pops' with the behind the scenes staff, are they really going to say the product is rubbish when their jobs depend on it?
30. Using an awful old mattress, incomparable to a decent pocket sprung one to compare with the rather cheap memory foam one, that barely contains any memory foam anyway.
 
lol at some of your replies, pleased i'm not alone :)

i suppose they have a (very) hard sell when it comes to me as i've never really fallen for sales tactics in any walk of life and will only buy when i think the deal is right for me.

it just grates me when they use words like 'incredible' (definition 'impossible/difficult to believe, extraordinary') when they're selling what is essentially a blender or whatever. it 'might' have been incredible x decades ago when these things first hit the market, and of course products evolve and improve over the years, but to refer to ANY product sold on IW as incredible is ... incredible!!!!

and yes the obviously different before/after shots and using old tat to compare with whatever they're selling really does my head in as well! as i always say yes, it's what they are there to do (sell) but as i'm one of the most cynical people out there i think, for my blood pressures sake, i need to stop watching these channels altogether!

having said that ... i do find catherine huntley on QVC very soothing :)
 
Oh and dont forget the old line from a few "sales people" While selling an item on the Monday they will happily ramble on about how outstanding the item is AS THEY HAVE IT!! then while selling the new model on the Wednesday they spew out the line...................."Get me one get me one I need this I need this, Order me one Shaun or the Goddess" Cause we are all such happy clappy friends in this building....................ok!

PS also I love how many guest "experts" they have selling cruises, exercise bikes and duvets then on a random advert on ITV or channel 5 you will see them trying to punt a diet plan or life insurance and how they are turning heads as the diet plan has worked that well.............Total cringe worthy of the highest order, Expert ACTORS/ACTRESSES that's all they are be honest IW.
 
I loved the McCulloch POTD, they were selling it by showing video of different machines, and even said at one point something along the lines of "Derek was using a similar machine here"!!!!!!!!! Well a Ferrari and a Fiesta 1.1 are both technically 'cars'.........
 
why would you name places that sell it cheaper. haha

never heard of anything so stupid.

I think it's fairer to say they probably shouldn't go down the price comparison route...

(the rest was spot on though, especially dennice)
 

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