Random musings and general banter.

[Herring]

Considering Pedro is supposed to have bad knees, he isn't having any trouble crawling around on the Turkish rugs. He has been sat with his legs bent under his knees, I'd be in agony doing that, and my knees are fine.

We all know that our poor Peter suffers from a myriad of health complaints whenever he's hawking miraculous healing products. The man is held together by collagen powders, saffron extract, CBD shots, Emu oil, and all manner of other lotions, potions, and supplements he "swears by".

I hear the bloke can't function without a couple pairs of copper socks on and a weighted blanket on standby.

But naturally he only suffers such ailments when selling health/well-being products

Any other product and he's fit as a fiddle.

 

[Duke of Cheese]

As he said, when he was caught off guard with his mic left on - “I’ll go to Hell, Me!!” I think we all can imagine the context of that remark linked to the above.

For me, as somebody just diagnosed with ‘shot knees’ there is no way I could sit like he was meant to be doing. I am struggling to walk down the stairs, which for a paid dog walker, is like being a pianist with no fingers. He moves extremely well for a sixty something, and like virtually anything he ever says on there, I take his ‘knee problems’ with a very large pinch of salt.

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Are you supposed to have a forehead like an ice rink when selling beauty improvement products? Or is a Pledge buffed head an attractive and aspirational thing to exhibit?

 

[Ostrichkeeper]

Oh dear, just now switched on to get an eyeful of Natalia’s now very scary face. She has so much lipstick on her upper lip that it looks like a moustache.

 

[Latearrival]

Buy the toaster alone from IW for £49.99
Or alternatively buy both toaster and kettle for £59.80 on Amazon

 

[Duke of Cheese]

It just isn’t going to get any better, isn’t it? The only branded and therefore checkable item I can recall that they had cheaper than elsewhere in general was that Philips Doorbell thing. Price points of anything branded available from other than manufacturer websites are generally uninspiring and easily beaten, with the majority of the general shows made up of unbranded, low rent products. Their price comparison protocols are generally appalling. Failing even to mention where the comparison has been sourced. Plus constant use of comparing generically, rather than identically, to create, for their non-Internet friendly customer base, a completely disingenuous means of true value comparison, and thus removing the option of providing a genuinely informed choice to viewers to buy or not. I cannot adequately put into words how poor the channel is, and in so many different respects.

 

[Jazzydrury]

Shona on now and then Lindsey at 2pm, I guess they’ve had to rejig things with Sally not being there

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Foghorn One replaced by Foghorn Two, then.

 

[Gooner1963]

£31.95 for the toaster on Amazon compared to thier £49.99 the not internet savvy will fall for it though that's what they rely on robbing ********

 

[Old Man Steptoe]

Jacks ranting on X is comedy gold CARRY ON FOGHORN

 

[cheeky chappie]

It just isn’t going to get any better, isn’t it? The only branded and therefore checkable item I can recall that they had cheaper than elsewhere in general was that Philips Doorbell thing. Price points of anything branded available from other than manufacturer websites are generally uninspiring and easily beaten, with the majority of the general shows made up of unbranded, low rent products. Their price comparison protocols are generally appalling. Failing even to mention where the comparison has been sourced. Plus constant use of comparing generically, rather than identically, to create, for their non-Internet friendly customer base, a completely disingenuous means of true value comparison, and thus removing the option of providing a genuinely informed choice to viewers to buy or not. I cannot adequately put into words how poor the channel is, and in so many different respects.

Yeah there's no denying much of the stuff they sell is essentially cheap tat. However as some have pointed out on here, is their strategy maybe working? Buy stuff cheap as chips, whack a few quid on it to make some profit and sell it over x weeks, with the presenters spouting guff on each show like 'we've managed to get some back into the business.'

I'd LOVE to know their sales figures, maybe we'd be shocked ... there again maybe we wouldn't

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Jacks ranting on X is comedy gold CARRY ON FOGHORN

Oh dear, how sad. Is it her ruined holiday in the Costa Toiletterolla she is ranting about? All her Ideal World £80 luggage set gone missing? Or her back up Louis Vuitton real one?

 

[Duke of Cheese]

How do you become an expert in vacuuming like Peter van Spheedoklockdt is? Lots of sucking up rice particles in leisurewear? Or has he a formal qualification to be deemed an expert in this vital field?

 

[Dr Quincy MkII]

Jacks ranting on X is comedy gold CARRY ON FOGHORN

Actually there's a more perfect title Carry on Jacks

 

[Muttley]

Although I am truly devastated for Sally and my thoughts are with her at this difficult time I do think we should spare some thoughts for everyone else affected.

All those regular, non-celebs schmoes who would've been dining in the same restaurant as her now won't. Their holidays have also been ruined by Virgin too. Imagine the stories they could've come home with, stories that would've echoed down through the generations for years to come.

"My great grandfather once went on holiday and had dinner in the same place as famous TV mum and social media fashion influencer Sally Jacks, shopping TV icon and former member of 1980s Eurovision winners Bucks Fizz, albeit circa 1990-1992 during their Pontins comeback tour. He said she was wearing the most amazing luxury high-end designer clothes that few people could aspire to own back then. She cackled all night long, until all the other diners ears bled, but they didn't mind because she was so famous…"

If only she'd gotten her luggage.

I saw on her timeline that Virgin did offer to loan her a suitcase full of amazing, very, very, very on trend clothes made by Tamsy, as well as some handbags that "could be designer as doesn't say they're not" — alas, the offer seems to have made the situation worse. She's replied she wouldn't be seen dead going out to dinner in what appears to be a poorly made tent, and remarked that cheap pleather handbags can't be designer if they don't have the label in…

My favourite post of the year so far. And it was up against some stiff competition!

 

[cheeky chappie]

How do you become an expert in vacuuming like Peter van Spheedoklockdt is? Lots of sucking up rice particles in leisurewear? Or has he a formal qualification to be deemed an expert in this vital field?

Yes he'll almost certainly have a formal qualification, likely a Masters in Vacuum Principles and Demonstrating Technique, or MVPDT for short.

Only the top universities offer the 5 year full-time course and don't bother looking for it online. They don't advertise this course as it's reserved for the best of the best of the best. I've heard the course fees are £50k per year.

There are others:

MWPDT (Masters in Watches Principles and Demonstrating Technique)
MBPDT (Masters in Bedding Principles and Demonstrating Technique)
MTPDT (Masters in Tat Principles and Demonstrating Technique)

You get the idea.

 

[Hammy60]

Yeah there's no denying much of the stuff they sell is essentially cheap tat. However as some have pointed out on here, is their strategy maybe working? Buy stuff cheap as chips, whack a few quid on it to make some profit and sell it over x weeks, with the presenters spouting guff on each show like 'we've managed to get some back into the business.'

I'd LOVE to know their sales figures, maybe we'd be shocked ... there again maybe we wouldn't

It's be Dec before we get the first indication of what effect renaming TJC beauty channel to IW has had, that will cover up to March 2024 which will include approx 6 months of the new channel. Without the IW name their last figures were £75 million for the year ending march 2023, down 8% from £81 million the year before (maybe why they suddenly went in for the IW name, bolster falling sales?). Interestingly the cost of products was £46 million, distribution and admin £26.8 million so made just £2 million in profit, although they do have other income from shares in other ventures of £6.4 million, and after tax made a profit of £8 million for that year.

 

[Jazzydrury]

Lindsey and Joe in the kitchen, Shona said it was Joanne up next and I was thinking turn off,will Give this pair a go

 

[Jazzydrury]

Lindsey is getting excitied, missing Opatra I guess

 

[Battiola73]

Shona on now and then Lindsey at 2pm, I guess they’ve had to rejig things with Sally not being there

Always wondered what the name of Foghorn 2 was. I now know she’s Lindsey Carp. Always known in my house as “open your mouth, swallow your face”, Pac-Man or the girl in the old Trio advert.