Festive Food Fun!

[barbedwire]

Dear QVC

I would just like to say thank you very much for what has been a joyous and wonderful few hours viewing today.

I have been delighted to witness the various presenters yomping their way through the EU Meat, Chocolate, Biscuit, Chutney and Pudding Mountain - speaking with their mouths full of scran and having a literal and actual virtual orgasm everytime a little morsel of sinewy and undercooked meat fell into their mouths. I never knew there were so 'many ways with a chicken breast' (one of them presumably involving being hooked up to a drip given the level of rawness of some of the cooked produce I've seen on offer).

I've also loved watching the Christmas food gadgets we cannot possibly live without like the vacuum sealers (handy for parcelling up the remains of the 175lb King's Realm Turkey Joint before it inevitably gets thrown into the bin). and the 'Meat Tenderiser' which we're assured is only for 'inferior supermarket meat' and NOT to be used with the TSV (which has 5 in number of everything all your meaty dreams require)...

This, to me, constitutes the highest level of artform and entertainment and something I am glad to say I purchased my television with inbuilt freeview for - I remember when they launched Channel 4 in 1982 and saying that '4 channels was asking for trouble and would never last' (I was 3 at the time, so this constituted an almighty feat of learning and language hitherto never seen before or after) but today have been proved wrong - this really has been Nobel Prize Winning stuff.

If you could now supply the item number for Brain Rennies and the telephone number of the nearest A&E I should be most humbly in your debt

Yours sincerely
cavegirl

 

[alibeth]

uke:uke:uke:

 

[barbedwire]

Indeed so, dear heart. I was just channel flicking now (waiting for A Time To Remember on BBC4) and have had cause to witness Anne Dawson doing her best impression of a Gannet, wrapping her dentures round Andrew's sausage. These two are a bag of unspent smouldering sexual meaty tension waiting to explode. Sorry to anyone eating their evening meal as they read this - but I'm suffering here and I believe in share and share alike.

She in fact has just rechristened herself as Arnie Dawson (as in 'I'll be back') because of the amount of toing and froing she's done between fork and gob.

*flicks back to BBC4 to pretend I'm cultured and intelligent*

 

[klarionthewitchboy]

I turned over before I had the dubious delight of seeing AD tackling a sausage.

I like to think of myself as rather broad-minded, but there are some things that even I would draw a line at. uke:

 

[Silver Fox]

All in the name of the Christmas festivities! I sometimes think I have done a 'Sleeping Beauty' ( I use the term 'Beauty' lightly!!) fallen asleep & awoken to discover it is 2 days before Christmas.For F**** sake it is October.At the risk of sounding a miserable old *** I enjoy Christmas when it actually comes but this is too much for me.They talk about prezzies for all & sundry, do they not think that not everyone has this extended family and it can be a very lonely & depressing time for some.

 

[Dippy One]

I turned over before I had the dubious delight of seeing AD tackling a sausage.

I like to think of myself as rather broad-minded, but there are some things that even I would draw a line at. uke:

That is Brilliant! x

 

[fulhamphil]

Anne loves to get her chops round a big portion - and Big Andrew is more than happy to oblige :hi:

 

[ERICS MUM]

Anne loves to get her chops round a big portion - and Big Andrew is more than happy to oblige :hi:

especially when she doesn't have to pay for it !

 

[ERICS MUM]

I saw the woman cutting one of those "chipolatas" in half, and there was a ginormous blood clot inside - made me uke:uke:uke:

 

[lilian]

I think that was one of the cranberries they kept ratting on about. Quite frankly I wanted to uke:

And Anne I do wish you would do something about your teeth. Its not pleasant watching you at the the best of times but watching you ram your gob full of food is just beyond it quite honestly

You would think with all the money she earns announcing that she has a home in Italy that she flits back & forth to she could afford to have her teeth whitened:smirk:

 

[Moth]

I was mesmerised by AD's face stuffing fest. I wonder where she puts it all? Presumably down the nearest porcelain this morning. Pork, beef, chicken, lamb, crackling - you name it, it was scarfed down. Does anyone remember "V" It was like watching one of those alien lizards eating. And it wasn't just morsels, she'd have had a whole chicken roll given a big enough fork. Perhaps the QVC canteen isn't up to much and she hadn't eaten anything for a few days. I had to laugh at the sausage event. And then she went for another bout in a later show! I didn't deliberately watch (I'm vegetarian) but I left the telly on in the background and couldn't help seeing bits of it. When she was going the electronics show, I could imaging her mind wondering where to find Alka Seltzer and the nearest ladies room. That went far beyond demonstrating. Although, given a Thorntons show, I'd be doing the same

 

[Boycie]

I saw the woman cutting one of those "chipolatas" in half, and there was a ginormous blood clot inside - made me uke:uke:uke:

EWWWWWWWWWW!!!! uke:

 

[OscarFelixJake]

I love this forum.
Can't watch any of the meat shows, never have been able too - just makes me gag. Didn't watch any QVC yesterday. Reading the posts here made me cry with laughter and be rather pleased that I didn't watch.
Life can be quite hard enough without any of those "visions" playing on your mind, lol.

 

[silversequin]

I only coped with watching a bit of the meat fest with Ann Jawson chowing on down, it was almost on a par with a horror film, all that semi cooked meat, the butcher man and ol Annie clad in that blue apron......"Nightmare on Sell em Street"

 

[jacqualina]

I turned over before I had the dubious delight of seeing AD tackling a sausage.

I like to think of myself as rather broad-minded, but there are some things that even I would draw a line at. uke:

I am delighted to learn that you know where the boundaries of decency lie ktwb!