Random musings and general banter.

[Latearrival]

Loving the dame edna everage glasses that only seconds ago were sold out but now suddenly are not sold out

 

[cheeky chappie]

I feel like someone's slipped LSD into my coffee

You'd need LSD plus copious amounts of the CBD oil they flog to get through watching their shows!

 

[Deleted member 21838]

Edna Everage glasses now with Dr. Shona from Moorgardens Eye Hospital. Followed by a sandwich maker wedding present from 1985. Do people not in loon pants and Timmy Mallet glasses actually still use these? Unctuous meals says Chef Shona. Are there no beginnings to her credibility? How much is a George Formby Grill, she Super Shyte witters. £10,000? An absolute bargoon, she words invents... Couldn't somebody give a couple of slices of bread and a cheese triangle to put in the ****** thing?

 

[VapidStoat]

Edna Everage glasses now with Dr. Shona from Moorgardens Eye Hospital. Followed by a sandwich maker wedding present from 1985. Do people not in loon pants and Timmy Mallet glasses actually still use these? Unctuous meals says Chef Shona. Are there no beginnings to her credibility? How much is a George Formby Grill, she Super Shyte witters. £10,000? An absolute bargoon, she words invents... Couldn't somebody give a couple of slices of bread and a cheese triangle to put in the ****** thing?

Considering the issues Shona seems to be having with changing the thing's cooking plates, it's probably not the best idea to have her connect it to the mains and switch it on. She could torch the place.

On second thoughts...

 

[Deleted member 21838]

It's not ****** unctuous..That's what Uriah Heep has for his tea?

 

[VapidStoat]

If Shona is advising you to cut your sausages in half so you can close the sandwich maker/grill lid, how is it going to handle a chicken breast, or a steak?

 

[VapidStoat]

Does anyone else find IW now playing those Reg Berque narrated "The shop that never shuts" adverts blackly amusing after the last version came to a sudden crashing stop in the summer?

No? Just me then

 

[Latearrival]

If Shona is advising you to cut your sausages in half so you can close the sandwich maker/grill lid, how is it going to handle a chicken breast, or a steak?

Don’t just don’t try to work out what goes though Shona‘s mind and out her mouth. She’s currently suggesting you could use tea towels as place mats or napkins
my mind boggles at just how THIN the tea towels are in order for them to be so multi use.

 

[Deleted member 21838]

Does anyone else find IW now playing those Reg Berque narrated "The shop that never shuts" adverts blackly amusing after the last version came to a sudden crashing stop in the summer?

No? Just me then

Are these old ads? I thought he’d done a Detroit Spinners and re-recorded his entire cack backalogue..

 

[VapidStoat]

Are these old ads? I thought he’d done a Detroit Spinners and re-recorded his entire cack backalogue..

TJC are ransacking the old IW's back catalogue, apparently. I nearly vomited when I first heard his dulcet tones last week without warning.

I was concerned he'd returned too, but I have been reassured that he hasn't

 

[Tricompax]

I feel like someone's slipped LSD into my coffee

You live on the "cobbles" ?

 

[Old Man Steptoe]

Any news on the creepy twins and my name is Den.
I presume they are still touting for work

 

[cheeky chappie]

Shona flogging a £25 handheld mixer ... but I thought the ONLY one we should EVER consider buying was the Bamix or as the demo guy used to love calling it, the Bay-mix ...

 

[cheeky chappie]

Any news on the creepy twins and my name is Den.
I presume they are still touting for work

Den's got a xmas gig as Santa in a local shopping centre grotto. The twins will also be there as Santa's little helpers ...

 

[Paul Laver's Wig]

Presenters doing their own introduction live is so amateurish.

 

[Keep Going]

Presenters doing their own introduction live is so amateurish.

Not just any old presenter! he is a "television AWARD winner" in his very own words.

 

[VapidStoat]

Who decided to give Dirty Peter an item to flog under the well-known brand name "Passage"?

 

[VapidStoat]

You live on the "cobbles" ?

I don't understand. I live in a 3rd floor flat. Sorry, "apartment".

 

[Deleted member 21838]

I’m getting serious shopping telly withdrawal symptoms. Being forced to watch rubbish like Countryfile and Planet Earth lll this evening. I genuinely cannot cope with normal television without some form of gentle wind down from my addiction. Perhaps five minutes of a vile watch session with Simon Peters…

 

[VapidStoat]

Dirty Peter has told people to hang the LED lanterns outside. No mention of whether they're weatherproof.

But that would be useful information, so of course we won't get that from him