The Shopping Devil's Dictionary
- Thread starter Gizzy
- Start date
Help Support ShoppingTelly:
Supermarket.....(noun) Not to be confused with the high street (pathway to hell, Along which you'll pay through the nose for goods, pay parking and congestion charges, not find what you're looking for, pay out for burgers, get wet and tired etc etc). This IS Hell, the real mccoy
Full of awful food, food that doesn't stay fresh, beauty products that are only fit for stripping paint...Don't go there lol!
Full of awful food, food that doesn't stay fresh, beauty products that are only fit for stripping paint...Don't go there lol!
Leighton Orient
Registered Shopper
- Joined
- May 4, 2010
- Messages
- 495
Guest Bedroom/Bathroom - 2 rooms we all keep spare in our abodes, the latter stocked full of L'Occitane/Elemis while the former kitted out with Northern Nights.
Loveinamist
Registered Shopper
Gift Drawer - (noun - proper or common depending on your feelings every time you walk past it!) Excessive purchases that were not returned within the 30 day MBG time.
Here's some more hackneyed old phrases for the dictionary!
Attention to detail......Something to say about something that there's nothing you can really say anything about.
Conversation piece....People will be talking about you (most likely behind your back!)
Jewellery wardrobe.....the myriad plastic carrier bags, stuffed drawers one has full of tangled chains, single earrings and broken watches.
Cleans and sanitises......A lick and a promise!
Yummy mummy....a woman who carries spare bottles and nappy sacks in a Radley bag
Ideal for the school run....outfit that would just about prevent you from being ejected from Tesco/take the kids to school (as long as you don't get out of the car)
Yummy dog walker.....Woman who wears a fleece that's the right size, and carries her doggy doo in a Radley bag
Beauty Regime......The time it takes to scrape off yesterday's slap with a baby wipe, and to blob on a dollop of Dove's finest moisturiser.
Attention to detail......Something to say about something that there's nothing you can really say anything about.
Conversation piece....People will be talking about you (most likely behind your back!)
Jewellery wardrobe.....the myriad plastic carrier bags, stuffed drawers one has full of tangled chains, single earrings and broken watches.
Cleans and sanitises......A lick and a promise!
Yummy mummy....a woman who carries spare bottles and nappy sacks in a Radley bag
Ideal for the school run....outfit that would just about prevent you from being ejected from Tesco/take the kids to school (as long as you don't get out of the car)
Yummy dog walker.....Woman who wears a fleece that's the right size, and carries her doggy doo in a Radley bag
Beauty Regime......The time it takes to scrape off yesterday's slap with a baby wipe, and to blob on a dollop of Dove's finest moisturiser.
R
RedT
Guest Shopper
Eye area = eyes
Lip area = lips
Facial area = face
Cheek area = cheeks
Presteeeejus = I have no idea what's in it
Exclusive = almost garaunteed to be available anywhere else
Youth Molecule = our customers are so dim they wouldn't be able to pronouce the chemical name.
Literal = I have no idea what I'm talking about
Actual = see 'Literal'
Lip area = lips
Facial area = face
Cheek area = cheeks
Presteeeejus = I have no idea what's in it
Exclusive = almost garaunteed to be available anywhere else
Youth Molecule = our customers are so dim they wouldn't be able to pronouce the chemical name.
Literal = I have no idea what I'm talking about
Actual = see 'Literal'
Bwahaha! These are great! :mysmilie_483: Keep 'em coming!
review (noun): feedback given to sellers based upon the customers' experiences with their products/services. Reviews can be positive or negative, however the latter usually never see the light of day. Note that it is not nessesary for reviewers to have ever owned/used the product/service they are reviewing.
unique (adjective): a one-of-a-kind item that nobody else wants.
enhanced (adjective): of gemstones, dyed in colours that nature never intended.
aging (noun): a series of changes that happen to living things as they get older. This process can be halted or reversed simply by slathering expensive goo on your face.
Well, that's it for now. I'm off to do more "research". See ya!
review (noun): feedback given to sellers based upon the customers' experiences with their products/services. Reviews can be positive or negative, however the latter usually never see the light of day. Note that it is not nessesary for reviewers to have ever owned/used the product/service they are reviewing.
unique (adjective): a one-of-a-kind item that nobody else wants.
enhanced (adjective): of gemstones, dyed in colours that nature never intended.
aging (noun): a series of changes that happen to living things as they get older. This process can be halted or reversed simply by slathering expensive goo on your face.
Well, that's it for now. I'm off to do more "research". See ya!
Leighton Orient
Registered Shopper
- Joined
- May 4, 2010
- Messages
- 495
Back in Stock; we found another box behind the forklifts in the warehouse, differs slightly from
Back in stock from last July; even we never thought we could sell out if this old tat so we didn't order that much.
Waitlist; as soon as we get some returns, we'll send you one out.
Back in stock from last July; even we never thought we could sell out if this old tat so we didn't order that much.
Waitlist; as soon as we get some returns, we'll send you one out.
.....and some more
Pays for itself ....a phrase often used to describe anything that is overpriced and unessecary
Easy pay.....keeps you in debt for just a little bit longer
Expert.....Sales assistant
Teacher's gift....anything from bedsheets through to DIY tools
Delicious.....anything that's remotely edible
Nutritious......Looks (and tastes) disgusting
Christmas.......Any day when we're on air and selling, it's never too early or too late to think about it!
Pays for itself ....a phrase often used to describe anything that is overpriced and unessecary
Easy pay.....keeps you in debt for just a little bit longer
Expert.....Sales assistant
Teacher's gift....anything from bedsheets through to DIY tools
Delicious.....anything that's remotely edible
Nutritious......Looks (and tastes) disgusting
Christmas.......Any day when we're on air and selling, it's never too early or too late to think about it!
Thanks merryone and Leighton Orient! This dictionary is really growing now, isn't it?:rock:
must-have (phrase): totally unnessesary.
heady (adjective): of perfume, overwhelming enough to knock out an elephant at sixty paces.
diamond (noun): a rare rare rare greyish to pale yellow gemstone that is the one and only symbol of true love. Anybody who gives their partner a diamond (especially a large and expensive one) will no longer need to worry about communication, affection, trust or any other annoying aspect of their relationship.
pick of the day (phrase): ...and yesterday...and the day before...and the day before etc.
nude (adjective): a common shade of fabric used in underwear and shapewear. Contrary to what the name suggests, it does not represent any human skin tone. Rather, this shade was inspired by a forgotten cup of tea left for at least a month in a warm place.
car boot sale (noun): a graveyard for old shopping channel goods.
casual (adjective): of clothing, scruffy.
once in a lifetime (phrase): will be available again in a few minutes time. See also: last chance.
pain-free (adjective): hurts like hell.
must-have (phrase): totally unnessesary.
heady (adjective): of perfume, overwhelming enough to knock out an elephant at sixty paces.
diamond (noun): a rare rare rare greyish to pale yellow gemstone that is the one and only symbol of true love. Anybody who gives their partner a diamond (especially a large and expensive one) will no longer need to worry about communication, affection, trust or any other annoying aspect of their relationship.
pick of the day (phrase): ...and yesterday...and the day before...and the day before etc.
nude (adjective): a common shade of fabric used in underwear and shapewear. Contrary to what the name suggests, it does not represent any human skin tone. Rather, this shade was inspired by a forgotten cup of tea left for at least a month in a warm place.
car boot sale (noun): a graveyard for old shopping channel goods.
casual (adjective): of clothing, scruffy.
once in a lifetime (phrase): will be available again in a few minutes time. See also: last chance.
pain-free (adjective): hurts like hell.
madaunty
Quietly, Very Confused
D'YoyKnowWhat - (phrase) - inserted into sales pitch at random, generally by Scottish salespersons, whenever they feel the need to talk over guest or give another (unwanted) insight into their home life.
Thought I'd give this thread a bump 'cause it's been such an entertaining distraction for me lately, and by the looks of things many others are enjoying it too, so here's some more. Sorry if they're not very good but here goes.
Hot Pick....left over crap from TSV's from days gone by....normally the sh*t brown version of anything you can wear, which is probably described as Chocolat or Cappuccino. Jewellery pieces that they didn't manage to convince us at the time were the must have thing..but they are now.
Cheryl Cole...usually preceded by the word "very"...chunky blingy jewellery in garish colours/Fuchsia or red coloured lippy. Sure to be very soon, if not already replaced by "Kate Middleton"..Apart from the "ring" I don't think they've got enough to go on yet..but watch this space!
T.S.V A "one day only" treat wherin £2 is SLASHED from the price, but quietly added to the p&p cost
O.T.O An ideal opportunity to clear out more cr*p when enough gullible fools have drained the TSV bank. Basically the same as a hotpick, but needs to be in the same catergory as the tsv
Love surprise.......Free p&p...wow!!!!! But beware it's a veritable hybrid,and consists of the following elements
hotpick....it's old stock in dubious colourways
TSV...well in reverse really the non existant p&p charges have been added to the price of the product
O.T.O...It's more crap with a limited time in which to buy it.
Thanks for listening!
Hot Pick....left over crap from TSV's from days gone by....normally the sh*t brown version of anything you can wear, which is probably described as Chocolat or Cappuccino. Jewellery pieces that they didn't manage to convince us at the time were the must have thing..but they are now.
Cheryl Cole...usually preceded by the word "very"...chunky blingy jewellery in garish colours/Fuchsia or red coloured lippy. Sure to be very soon, if not already replaced by "Kate Middleton"..Apart from the "ring" I don't think they've got enough to go on yet..but watch this space!
T.S.V A "one day only" treat wherin £2 is SLASHED from the price, but quietly added to the p&p cost
O.T.O An ideal opportunity to clear out more cr*p when enough gullible fools have drained the TSV bank. Basically the same as a hotpick, but needs to be in the same catergory as the tsv
Love surprise.......Free p&p...wow!!!!! But beware it's a veritable hybrid,and consists of the following elements
hotpick....it's old stock in dubious colourways
TSV...well in reverse really the non existant p&p charges have been added to the price of the product
O.T.O...It's more crap with a limited time in which to buy it.
Thanks for listening!
Fabrication - the real world a totally made up story or load of old porkies... shopping telly world bags made of a material you would turn your nose up at Primark or the local market - normally smelly plastic or the type of nylon your Mum's shopping bag was made from in the 70's....
"I have this in my downstairs toilet for guests" - Every soap (liquid and solid) stocked by QVC - in every fragrance... Because the small room is stocked head to toe with said items each one lasts a "suprisingly long time"
"An ideal dinner party gift for the host" - This time every single item in QVC's inventory from jewellery, to lawn mowers to what ever we are calling King's Realm this months guaranteed 1% meat pies (as endorsed by Anne Dawson) - let's face it you havn't forgotten how poor their food was at the last "dinner party..."
"I have this in my downstairs toilet for guests" - Every soap (liquid and solid) stocked by QVC - in every fragrance... Because the small room is stocked head to toe with said items each one lasts a "suprisingly long time"
"An ideal dinner party gift for the host" - This time every single item in QVC's inventory from jewellery, to lawn mowers to what ever we are calling King's Realm this months guaranteed 1% meat pies (as endorsed by Anne Dawson) - let's face it you havn't forgotten how poor their food was at the last "dinner party..."
Last edited:
QVC Princess
Beauty Addict
Hi Gizzy and a big welcome to ST.com - i hope you enjoy your time here - we're a friendly bunch:sun:QP
Thanks for the entries, merryone and theresa b. Thanks for the welcome QVC Princess. Everyone here has been really welcoming!
dread (noun): that sinking feeling you get while awaiting your bill/bank statement.
of an age (phrase): old. Note that this term only applies to females. Males are never "of an age", no matter how long they live.
flaaaar (noun): an overpriced artificial bloom made from whatever scraps of nylon and plastic the manufacturer could find. Not to be confused with flowers (real or silk).
beryl (noun): a family of gemstones that includes emeralds, aquamarine, morganite, heliador, goshenite, golden beryl and bixbite. These names can be used interchangably to describe any member of the beryl family (eg morganite is pink emerald, aquamarine is blue golden beryl, goshenite is colourless bixbite etc).
inspired (adjective): copying someone else's design.
dread (noun): that sinking feeling you get while awaiting your bill/bank statement.
of an age (phrase): old. Note that this term only applies to females. Males are never "of an age", no matter how long they live.
flaaaar (noun): an overpriced artificial bloom made from whatever scraps of nylon and plastic the manufacturer could find. Not to be confused with flowers (real or silk).
beryl (noun): a family of gemstones that includes emeralds, aquamarine, morganite, heliador, goshenite, golden beryl and bixbite. These names can be used interchangably to describe any member of the beryl family (eg morganite is pink emerald, aquamarine is blue golden beryl, goshenite is colourless bixbite etc).
inspired (adjective): copying someone else's design.
OK, after recent events I've come up with some more entries. I hope it's ok.
memorabilia (noun): cheap and tacky crap sold to make money off of some over hyped event (e.g. royal weddings).
prolific (adjective): of plants, produces produces one teeny weeny flower/fruit a year, if you are lucky.
hardy (adjective): of plants, is highly unlikely to survive an encounter with a single snowflake, let alone winter frosts.
sheep (noun): anybody who disagrees with you. Note that it doesn't matter whether the disagreement is valid/fair or if different people come to similar conclusions independently.
perennial (adjective): of plants, will not survive the first year.
memorabilia (noun): cheap and tacky crap sold to make money off of some over hyped event (e.g. royal weddings).
prolific (adjective): of plants, produces produces one teeny weeny flower/fruit a year, if you are lucky.
hardy (adjective): of plants, is highly unlikely to survive an encounter with a single snowflake, let alone winter frosts.
sheep (noun): anybody who disagrees with you. Note that it doesn't matter whether the disagreement is valid/fair or if different people come to similar conclusions independently.
perennial (adjective): of plants, will not survive the first year.
