Do rubber knickers work?

[Miss Grumpy]

I may be very old and fat. Correction, I am very old and fat... but I am bemused by the 'shape wear'. Does it work? I have just been watching a few minutes of the shape wear, and saw the young lady, wearing black lace stretch pants. She was reduced from 36 inch hips (here I rolled around the sofa laughing that anyone with 36 inch hips needed to reduce them), to 33 inch hips. Impressive. But when the bossy lady in the red frock rolled down the model's black lace pants,you could clearly see angry red marks from where the latex or whatever had been cutting into her. Has anyone tried these, and is the pain worth the no doubt stunning end result?

I was even more bemused by the next item, a rubber denim hold-you-in skirt, with fake creases and wear marks in white. Now, if you are overweight, even holding it in with rubberwear is not going to make you look attractive, as no doubt there will be chubby thighs visible beneath the rubber tight skirt. And who, given the average age of QVC viewers, thinks rubber denim tight short skirts are suitable for the audience? Unless, of course, we are supplementing our pensions by hanging around on street corners looking for passing trade?

 

[Brissles]

You know there was an eclipse of the moon last night - well, I hold my hand up, I caused it, that was me, at the top of the road by the lamppost ............. (walking the dog !!)

I strongly suspect that the models probably wear a size too small - hence the angry red marks.

My old mum used to wear the pink lace up corsets all her life, the ones with laces at the back - purely because she had worn them since her teens and swore she would get pneumonia if she left them off !!

I've had all manner of 'shapewear', from roll-on girdles in my teens, to the M & S tummy knickers. I've found these are all ok if you haven't got much of a gut to begin with. BUT and its a big but, if you have a real girth then its not just knickers you need but a whole suite of armour ! this is because the knickers are so restrictive and will 'cut' into your thigh crevice and push the fat elsewhere, usually over the top of the pants. Then there are the knickers with legs, but unless your legs are slim, then these can roll up when you sit down. For a real inch or two loss, then an all in one is the best answer, and pay for a good one -- holds you in but not restrictive. These can give you a waist, but I've discovered they are only wearable for 3 or 4 hours at the most, then I cant wait to rip it off !!!!

 

[Craftalot]

I may be very old and fat. Correction, I am very old and fat... but I am bemused by the 'shape wear'. Does it work? I have just been watching a few minutes of the shape wear, and saw the young lady, wearing black lace stretch pants. She was reduced from 36 inch hips (here I rolled around the sofa laughing that anyone with 36 inch hips needed to reduce them), to 33 inch hips. Impressive. But when the bossy lady in the red frock rolled down the model's black lace pants,you could clearly see angry red marks from where the latex or whatever had been cutting into her. Has anyone tried these, and is the pain worth the no doubt stunning end result?

I was even more bemused by the next item, a rubber denim hold-you-in skirt, with fake creases and wear marks in white. Now, if you are overweight, even holding it in with rubberwear is not going to make you look attractive, as no doubt there will be chubby thighs visible beneath the rubber tight skirt. And who, given the average age of QVC viewers, thinks rubber denim tight short skirts are suitable for the audience? Unless, of course, we are supplementing our pensions by hanging around on street corners looking for passing trade?

Miss G, I'm fast becoming addicted to your writing. You must stop lest I have to seek treatment. I really enjoyed reading this post - it was quite hilarious.

Rubber pants, chubby thighs and a rubber ring above are going to end in disaster. Obviously. Some men will pay handsomely for that sort of kink, but I think you're just going to risk looking like you might get harpooned.

 

[historymystery]

Oh thank you, brissles, this made me laugh for ages.... My Mum also believed that corsets were good and kept you in shape - even if the end of the world had been due at 2 pm and therefore it didn't matter a ???? anymore what you wore, she would have still worn a corset! Letting it all hang out was not in my Mum's vocabulary, like most of her generation. I work on the premise "it's got to go somewhere". The excess 'ain't going to disappear just because you imprison yourself in whalebone or whatever - therefore you are going to be uncomfortable. Hence I don't use shapewear. I'm a long way from a perfect shape, but no way will I make myself that uncomfortable to achieve (or try to achieve!) the "perfect shape". Life is too darn short.

You know there was an eclipse of the moon last night - well, I hold my hand up, I caused it, that was me, at the top of the road by the lamppost ............. (walking the dog !!)

I strongly suspect that the models probably wear a size too small - hence the angry red marks.

My old mum used to wear the pink lace up corsets all her life, the ones with laces at the back - purely because she had worn them since her teens and swore she would get pneumonia if she left them off !!

I've had all manner of 'shapewear', from roll-on girdles in my teens, to the M & S tummy knickers. I've found these are all ok if you haven't got much of a gut to begin with. BUT and its a big but, if you have a real girth then its not just knickers you need but a whole suite of armour ! this is because the knickers are so restrictive and will 'cut' into your thigh crevice and push the fat elsewhere, usually over the top of the pants. Then there are the knickers with legs, but unless your legs are slim, then these can roll up when you sit down. For a real inch or two loss, then an all in one is the best answer, and pay for a good one -- holds you in but not restrictive. These can give you a waist, but I've discovered they are only wearable for 3 or 4 hours at the most, then I cant wait to rip it off !!!!

 

[historymystery]

Miss G, I think you are a strong contender for the "Most Hilarious Caption for a Thread" competition - I haven't stopped laughing since I read your heading "Do Rubber Knickers Work?" when I came in this afternoon!:mysmilie_19::mysmilie_15::mysmilie_15::mysmilie_19:

I may be very old and fat. Correction, I am very old and fat... but I am bemused by the 'shape wear'. Does it work? I have just been watching a few minutes of the shape wear, and saw the young lady, wearing black lace stretch pants. She was reduced from 36 inch hips (here I rolled around the sofa laughing that anyone with 36 inch hips needed to reduce them), to 33 inch hips. Impressive. But when the bossy lady in the red frock rolled down the model's black lace pants,you could clearly see angry red marks from where the latex or whatever had been cutting into her. Has anyone tried these, and is the pain worth the no doubt stunning end result?

I was even more bemused by the next item, a rubber denim hold-you-in skirt, with fake creases and wear marks in white. Now, if you are overweight, even holding it in with rubberwear is not going to make you look attractive, as no doubt there will be chubby thighs visible beneath the rubber tight skirt. And who, given the average age of QVC viewers, thinks rubber denim tight short skirts are suitable for the audience? Unless, of course, we are supplementing our pensions by hanging around on street corners looking for passing trade?

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

Yes they do! Good for keeping little leaks contained. That is the only use anyone should consider when buying.:mysmilie_11:

 

[PrussianRed]

Thank you all for the laughs.

The last 2 weeks have been really crappy, though interrupted by a few really nice days.

 

[Miss Grumpy]

Yes they do! Good for keeping little leaks contained. That is the only use anyone should consider when buying.:mysmilie_11:

Isn't it awful, how quickly we age, from teenager to Tena Lady?

 

[whitesnake]

All I want to say about shapewear is that all that flab has got to go somewhere. If its pushed in somewhere its going to come rolling out somewhere else.

 

[historymystery]

Miss G, I needed Tena lady after reading your headline - I'm stlll giggling. Thanks for cheering up Monday, love it. :mysmilie_59:

Isn't it awful, how quickly we age, from teenager to Tena Lady?

 

[shopperholic]

Rubber knickers? Do they bounce if you throw them on the floor, must take ages to put the lid on the laundry basket.

 

[thatu]

More to the point, do you bounce back off a hard seat if you're wearing them? Just imagine - sit! boing! boing! boing! I would definitely need my Tena lady for that.

 

[Tilley]

I was at a Ladies Lunch and before we went into the hall to listen to the Speaker one of the ladies went to the toilet. She was ages and a couple of us went to see if she was alright. She shouted she was ok from the cubicle and eventually came out. She was red in the face and sweating and had something in her hand. She said it was a shapewear garment. The dress she had chosen to wear was a bit tight so she thought she would buy this all in one garment to wear under it and smooth her out. She had almost wet herself trying to get the crotch fasteners open and had decided to try to get her arms out of it and then roll it down. This was such a struggle she decided to take the thing off and said she would never wear it again.

 

[maymorganlondon]

I love this forum!!!!!

This is such a funny thread - and after the day I've had, it's wonderful to end it with a lot of laughter!

I bought a slip from M&S, nude coloured, with a non-restrictive bust area. Result - same flab, but in a smooth shiny casing. I'd have been at home in a butcher's shop window. And wearing it? Endlessly tugging it down, then hauling it up in the bathroom.

I bought a minimiser bra (for the fuller busted). Up front looked smaller, but I couldn't put my arms down by my sides - yes, the excess bosom had escaped to my armpits.

After that - I've decided it's too much fuss and bother, and buying things that don't cling in the first place is a better use of my time and money.

 

[shopperholic]

The only time I tried shape wear (not from QVC) I bought a size down, and oh! my! gawd! It would've been quicker to clone myself than to put the "magic" knickers on.........to be fair though they were magic, when they rolled down they were that tight at the waist (ha! what waist) they almost cut me in two.

 

[Brissles]

As we are all opening up and confessing................. wearing one of my first all-in-ones was an extremely painful and eye watering experience, there were no press studs between the crotch, they were........ hooks and eyes ! yep! (and this was in the days before Brazilians, Hollywoods, Brightons, Broadstairs (?) whatever .. know what I mean ??? got myself in a right tangle or two I can tell you. Never again.

 

[ERICS MUM]

Yes they do! Good for keeping little leaks contained. That is the only use anyone should consider when buying.:mysmilie_11:

Oh wow, what a great idea ! Wearing these I could sneeze and pee at the same time without worrying about sitting on upholstered furniture. Quite a consideration for a post menopausal woman.

 

[historymystery]

Tilley, I'm in fits of laughter (again) at your post....I haven't stopped giggling since I read this thread title by Miss Grumpy "Do Rubber Knickers Work?" - now I'm off again! People on here should be writing TV comedy - perhaps then it would be really funny.

I was at a Ladies Lunch and before we went into the hall to listen to the Speaker one of the ladies went to the toilet. She was ages and a couple of us went to see if she was alright. She shouted she was ok from the cubicle and eventually came out. She was red in the face and sweating and had something in her hand. She said it was a shapewear garment. The dress she had chosen to wear was a bit tight so she thought she would buy this all in one garment to wear under it and smooth her out. She had almost wet herself trying to get the crotch fasteners open and had decided to try to get her arms out of it and then roll it down. This was such a struggle she decided to take the thing off and said she would never wear it again.

 

[historymystery]

:mysmilie_504::mysmilie_483:I haven't stopped laughing since I came in yesterday afternoon and started to read other peoples' comments - just hilarious.

Rubber knickers? Do they bounce if you throw them on the floor, must take ages to put the lid on the laundry basket.

 

[ERICS MUM]

As we are all opening up and confessing................. wearing one of my first all-in-ones was an extremely painful and eye watering experience, there were no press studs between the crotch, they were........ hooks and eyes ! yep! (and this was in the days before Brazilians, Hollywoods, Brightons, Broadstairs (?) whatever .. know what I mean ??? got myself in a right tangle or two I can tell you. Never again.

This has got to be the funniest post of 2025 ! It's given me a real belly-laugh, thank you !