QVC - New Year, New You

ShoppingTelly

Help Support ShoppingTelly:

barbedwire

Registered Shopper
Joined
Jun 24, 2008
Messages
2,016
It's literally actually almost the literal actual New Year area of December, for you - and what a literal actual 2010 it has literally actually been at QVC. For me, your literal actual beauty expert with 547 literal actual yurrrs experience in all fully qualified literal actual areas of beauty for you it's been yet another literal actual year of being your qualified literal actual beauty expert literally actually for you in the beauty area. As a new yurrr literal actual gift for you, I thought I'd open up my literal actual postbag and answer some of your literal actual beauty dilemmas that you have on your face, body and eye area. For you.

Dear Resident Beauty Expert
For some time now I've been suffering with dark under eye circles which are made worse by my being a shift worker on a well known shopping channel. Apart from this area of concern I am otherwise a superb physical specimen and a size small. I wonder if you can help me find the item num-bah of a product that will help remedy this.
Size Small of Surrey


Dear Size Small of Surrey
Firstly, can I say well done on being a shift worker. Without people like you I would literally have no actual people to talk about when I do my literal actual demonstrations, for you. For your literal actual problem I'd recommend for you to apply something with an ingreejunt in a meejum shade in it to your eye area for you. This formula will have ingreejunts in it that have a formula that will literally actually take away the darkness for you. Try going to Boots' and buying some Oil Of Ol...I mean Item number 145372 Gale Hayman Eye Lift at a cost of £452 plus £2134 p&p will do the trick and literally actually see you right on your eye area. Good luck and thank you for being a hard working shift worker in the literal actual shift working sector.

Dear Resident Beauty Expert
I am a lady of a certain age who likes a few jars and a few laughs, but I also like lying in the sun, which is a mighty size (although I always lie and say I use Ultrasun). My problem is that in some lights my skin looks decidedly like the Tignanello handbags I have to flog on a well known shopping channel, which - to my mind looks wrong. Is there something I can do to stop my skin looking so parched?
Mrs Goggin's Bun, London


Dear Mrs Goggin's Bun
Firstly, well done for lying and saying you use Ultrasun. So do I, literally actually. It's important to remember that the literal actual body area can for you sometimes dry out if you don't put the right literal ingreejunts on it. You need a formula with some ingreejunts in it that will literally actually work to stop your skin drying out by having a formula with ingreejunts in it. For you, I would recommend nipping to Poundland and buying a big tub of aqueous cre...I mean going to the QVC website and literally actually buying 764324 Gatineau Age Defying Gravity Lifting Lard priced at £215 with £456 package and postage literally. You should see a drastic improvement with the literal actual first application to the body area. Good literal actual luck!

Dear Resident Beauty Expert
I've recently been exploring my more feminine side - I bought a grey cardigan with yellow piping on it and scored some hours on a well known shopping channel talking about make up and nail varnish and lady's clothes for the laydeez. Prior to this I was mostly doing jewellery shows and was famed for my ring...presentations. Since I've been doing less of those shows and less of my slow jewellery box opening I've noticed the joints in my hands have seized up. Is there something you can recommend to put on them to stop the pain?
Mr Slow Reveal, The Isle of Wight


Dear Mr Slow Reveal
Firstly, can I say the ladies literally actually love a cardigan with piping on it. It literally makes them actually go weak at the knees. Also, can I literally actually say well done for being so open with your feminine side for you. It's not easy to pretend to be literally actually interested in make up and nail varnish - or ask the right literal actual questions. For your problem I'd recommend you nipped to the chemists and bought a tube of Deep Hea...I mean go to QVCUK.com or use QCut or the redactivebuttonbecauseIneedyouonthosephonesrightnow and purchase item number 431957 SBC Arnica Gloop at a price of £245 and £457 package and postage. Smooth this formula which is full of literal actual ingreejunts in a meejum brown shade over your literal actual joints, or let it literally actually sit there like a literal actual compress to relieve literal actual pain. I remember once when I was out riding my literal actual horse in the actual paddock area - he literally actually threw me off with quite some literal actual force and I landed on my arse, for you. As I literally lay there bleeding fairly literally profusely and watching my entire literal actual life flashing before my actual eye area, my first thought after I'd literally actually checked in my compact mirror to make sure my literal actual Bobbi Brown Gel Eyeliner hadn't literally actually smudged was 'ARNICAAAAA'!!! And believe you me, as I was winched to literal actual safety the literal actual hardworking nurses who all worked shifts were so glad that I was there to apply Arnica to my broken and mis-shapen limb area, and had no real need of any real literal medical treatment. Good luck with it!

HAPPY NEW LITERAL ACTUAL YEAR!:happy:
 
Thanks Cavegirl, that was wonderful. I had a literal actual choke on my candy cane in the throat area :)
 
Thanks Cavegirl, that was wonderful. I had a literal actual choke on my candy cane in the throat area :)

Dear Mollsmum

I literally actually prescribe Gatineau Firming Throat gel for that literal actual area of concern for you. Remember if you are in a literal actual choking situation to take advice from a trained medical professional and follow their instructions alongside slapping on the over priced blobs of grease i literally actually prescribed for you.

xxxx
 
Some people have way too much time on their hands........but the rest of us mere mortals are so glad they do cos it doesn't half give us a giggle. Brilliant!!:giggle::giggle::giggle:
 
:hi: Cave girl you naughty thing! :clapping::rock::giggle::grin: Laughing so hard set off a mammoth coughing fit and a mad dash for the loo. :blush: If only I'd bought that pelvic toner when it was on! :mysmilie_11:
 
Cheered me up, Cavey, and that's not an easy thing to do, me deario. Bravo!
 
Fabulous post!!

Perhaps we may look forward one day to various other presenters, guests and models seeking literal actual advice for them, from the splendid Resident Beauty Expert.....

xx
 

Latest posts

Back
Top