A Holiday Game: "New Year, New Q"

[clairella]

U know what......i've tried realy hard to do this(the booting of presenters), but I can't.....and no I don't work on, or am related to anyone on QVC, so I'm soreee but I'm missing that bit out.
Get rid of....
Northern nights.....why does everyone want 5000 thread counts(oh of course, I mean 500!!!)when u have to iron it every time it's washed, yes I'm lazy! Won't make that mistake again.
Cleaning solutions.....get everything possible from the supermarket
Lola Rose..... I realy do think this is soooo overpriced
New employees....
Carla(Tigwhatsit handbags,.... please give it a new name I can pronounce!!!)
Loen(Ideal World)
Denise Welch(Loose Women)
:mysmilie_1: Iv'e got a headache now...hehe

 

[dottiebird]

This thread has given me such a laugh.......................so hilarious.

I have decided that we are far better judges of what and what should not be shown on QVC. Therefore I hand over the presentations to you lovely forummers...................let's tell it like it is:-

Kim & Co.......................This will show up even the teeniest bit of cellulite unless you are a size zero (a la Julia Roberts)........................so stand clear:down:

Lola Rose.......................Visit your local market and pick up this overpriced SEMI PRECIOUS stuff at a quarter of the price:down:

Kelly Hoppen..................Take a walk down memory lane here folks, stretch out your legs and feel the bobbles on the sheets................aaaaah lovely (even for 100 quid):down:

Kipling Bags.................. Oooooooo feel the quality of that shiny overpriced fabric, with so many pockets and zips that you will have lost the will to live when you actually try to find anything. Plus receive your nice furry monkey named Crappo:down:

Oh I could go on and on and on.....................but I won't cos it's giving me headache now:cheeky:

 

[merryone]

Brian Blessed would make a funny alternative presenter....but only for a while eh?

 

[ArtDeco]

The Boot
Jill Franks – has the most appalling presenting style, makes every mistake in the business from being apparently utterly unable to pace her delivery to failing to imagine an appropriate audience, instead talking narcissistically about herself

Sara Griffiths – cannot bear the way she instructs me to “listen” every two minutes

Julian Ballantyne – controversial, as I know he has a huge fan-base here, and I do love his humility, but can’t cope with his syntax


The Door
Joan Rivers – I appreciate her intelligent humour but rather like The Simpsons she just doesn’t hold my attention – two minutes and I feel I’ve seen it all

Kelly Hoppen – symptomatic of all that’s wrong with the contemporary celebrity branding of essentially bland products (about which the ‘name’ knows nothing) which are always over-priced in relation to their quality

Glen Campbell – Please don’t send him back to Yorkshire TV though, the decent folk of God’s Own County have put up with him long enough


The Heave-Ho
Kirks Folly - plays on the vulnerable and is evidently a microcosm of tat

Technology - Yawnsville Tennessee :yawn: :sleepy:

Craft – I only say this because as the years go by I’m finding myself increasingly interested in Tuesday 2-4pm and before I know it I’m going to be making cards for my neighbours’ grandchildren and scrapbooks about my garage conversion...it’s like middle age is hurtling towards me courtesy of Dawn Bibby...argh...heeeeylllp...:sweat:


The New Blood
Simon Brown – a pleasant, knowledgeable presenter (on QVC? I know it’s a shocker...)

Carla from Tignanello – wouldn’t have thought of her until others mentioned her but she would be absolutely perfect, I’m not a Tig fan but she could convince me, she really brings out the best of the product and seems very happy in her own skin

Anne Diamond – I’m a child of the eighties, loved her on TV-AM, none too impressed with her jewellery but think she’d a make a great presenter. And, as my OH observed when we first discovered the channel, Le Q is the place where daytime TV presenters go to die...

 

[barbedwire]

Hmmm...

The Boot

Well - controversy abounds - no-one, for if I booted off the presenters I didn't like, I'd have no-one to complain about so just change my name from 'cavegirl' to 'splintersinthearse'.

The Door

I feel I must concur with the lovely ArtDeco - definitely Kelly Hoppen for a kick off, snooty, delusions of grandeur and always looks like she's hot footed it to Le Q straight from 'TrampsRUs' fashion and beauty parlour. She really ought to invest in some Ojon for that barnet.

Again, Jennnieieieieieiieieieiiffeeerrerererere Kirk and her brood - get shut. Eyes like cash registers and not an ounce of humility in her. Plus think of the poor presenter's dry cleaning bills after she's been on blowing her magic fairy dust (glitter) onto their clothes. Escape to the land of fairies my arse. Escape to the land of swiss bank accounts more like.

Basso. Don't think I need to elucidate yet further apart from to say he's a crapulating bumhole. Get rid. Or better still, skin him alive and see how he likes it.

The Heave-Ho

Urine Geller - awful spoonbending misery. Overpriced jewellery from the master of cashing in the fact he once sat on the same chair Michael Jackson did or something.

Anything ANYTHING that involves Christmas decorations or the recurrent appearance of silly gift ideas (who really wants a gold plated lettuce cripser that plays 'I Who Have Nothing...' everytime you fling a bit of lollo rosso in it (ideal for family, friends or the blind person across the road who always leaves their pizza boxes on the front lawn...)

Thomas Kinkade - Painter of S***e. Nuff Said.

New Blood

I can only add to the others praise - Simon Brown, a lovely chap who knows his stuff and was very impressive when he took over the presenting reins on a Cooks Essential Show when a presenter got delayed. Nice fella.

Carla Laszlo from Tignanello - was wasted on Ideal World, far too classy for them and is really good guesting with this range, always a pleasure to watch.

 

[Ciociaria]

Kipling Bags.................. Oooooooo feel the quality of that shiny overpriced fabric, with so many pockets and zips that you will have lost the will to live when you actually try to find anything. Plus receive your nice furry monkey named Crappo:down:

Oh I could go on and on and on.....................but I won't cos it's giving me headache now:cheeky:

OMG - this is the best laugh I've had all Christmas. I was hooting with laughter. I will forever refer to those monkeys as 'Crappo'. Thanks for cheering me up!

 

[Boris Bear]

I'm not doing all the suggestions but one guest who would make a good presenter is Sam Simmons who was in the presenter competition and now guests for Emu.

 

[clairella]

Craft – I only say this because as the years go by I’m finding myself increasingly interested in Tuesday 2-4pm and before I know it I’m going to be making cards for my neighbours’ grandchildren and scrapbooks about my garage conversion...it’s like middle age is hurtling towards me courtesy of Dawn Bibby...argh...heeeeylllp.........

Aah no.........pleeeeese leave us Dawn Bibby and crafting.....(not everyone who does craft is middle-aged u know!!!!)
:mysmilie_865:

 

[Bensmum]

I'm not doing all the suggestions but one guest who would make a good presenter is Sam Simmons who was in the presenter competition and now guests for Emu.

I've been racking my brain trying to think where I've seen her before. Thanks Boris Bear. Do we think she should have won rather than Cringey (just look at my tooth whitening job) Craig?

 

[Lemonsqueezy]

I've been racking my brain trying to think where I've seen her before. Thanks Boris Bear. Do we think she should have won rather than Cringey (just look at my tooth whitening job) Craig?

No...I think she's every bit as cringey and cheesy as Craig!:down:

 

[Loveinamist]

Brian Blessed would make a funny alternative presenter....but only for a while eh?

Him and the Furminator chap could do a double bill called the BustaBloodVesselBrothers :rock: :rock: :rock:

 

[klarionthewitchboy]

Could it be that QVC have already given her the boot??? It seems a LOT of kim clearance lately!!!

Either that, or there's not been as many sell-outs over the past year as QVC would have us know... :wonder: