Howard and his Camel Hump.

[historymystery]

You could power a house from the hot air that was coming from this hour last night. When I switched over to the Howard & Dee Knees Crapfest and Joke Medley, I had only just recovered from a snippet of the Legacy hour, when Genpleaseleave was repeatedly telling us we're all doomed and therefore get one of their Will packs pronto. I did wonder if putting this hour before what followed was a deliberate move on IW's part - by the time I'd watched 10 minutes of the H & DK show I had lost the will to live and switched over. Howard's last attempt to crack a joke was a step too far.

I believe proper shops do still sell Polyester Mutley but perhaps not as prolifically as Ideal World who clearly think their target audience aspires to own : -

Plastic Shoes
Plastic Clothes
Plastic Furniture

The good news is you wouldn't need Solar Panels because the static leccy generated from all this fantastic polyplastic could light up Oxford Street all Christmas long :mysmilie_59:

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[VapidStoat]

Oh yes: I keep seeing this thread and have visions of Howard singing "My lumps, my lumps, my lovely camel humps".

It's enough to drive me to drink and drugs (if my cash wasn't taken up by continuous flexi payments for the next 6 years)

:glass:

 

[Muttley]

Oh heavens, Howard's already told us how passionate he is about physical and mental health....he somehow thought of this whilst his partner in crime, Dee Knees (aka Bees Knees, aka Monotone Voice) was droning on about the 2-for-1 tops. "Life is an emotional rollercoaster", he's just told us. I'm in tears here......of laughter. He's also asked us how do we feel when we get the "whoosh?" Get the "whoosh?" Is that a euphemism for something else? What the $$$$ is he on about? Doctor - the pills, and quick.... No talk about divorce or constipation as yet, but he has mentioned the Ambassador's ball - and on that note, I will leave you, before I'm tempted to make a tasteless comment (What, me? Never!)

We all speculate about when this channel will go under but, lets face it, where would we get anything as funny as this on television for free?

And History, I know you would never make a tasteless comment, you are much too refined for that (a bit like myself...)

 

[Muttley]

Oh yes: I keep seeing this thread and have visions of Howard singing "My lumps, my lumps, my lovely camel humps".
It's enough to drive me to drink and drugs (if my cash wasn't taken up by continuous flexi payments for the next 6 years)

:glass:

That thought is going to be in my head all weekend!

 

[Muttley]

I couldn't cope with the whole hour either, Muttley. It was the effect of the 2 disembodied voices, Dee Knees and Howard 'Toilet Humour', that drove me to switch over. Just how many times can you listen to DK telling you to "just throw it in the washing machine" without feeling an irresistible urge to throw her in there after it? H was his usual manic self, and full of jokes - unfortunately, none of them were funny.

That was a very strange combination of presenters wasn't it? Perhaps she hypnotises us and he stuns us with his (alleged) hilarity (which clearly doesn't work with us forumites.

 

[VapidStoat]

That thought is going to be in my head all weekend!

My work here is done! :mysmilie_13:

 

[historymystery]

I thank you, Muttley. Tasteless I most definitely am NOT - after all, I watch IW when the ex-Bid Brigade Birdbrains are on, so nuff said. OH and I agree that its the funniest thing on the box, and every time I watch I'm reminded of Dawn French and the wonderful selly telly comedy sketch - you honestly could not make it up - although the snake oil selling techniques irritate and annoy the hell out of me. Surely there has to be scope for someone to write a book, or a play about a shopping telly channel? I'm sure there are loads of people on here who could collaborate in writing something!

We all speculate about when this channel will go under but, lets face it, where would we get anything as funny as this on television for free?

And History, I know you would never make a tasteless comment, you are much too refined for that (a bit like myself...)

 

[Wirral70]

I couldn't cope with the whole hour either, Muttley. It was the effect of the 2 disembodied voices, Dee Knees and Howard 'Toilet Humour', that drove me to switch over. Just how many times can you listen to DK telling you to "just throw it in the washing machine" without feeling an irresistible urge to throw her in there after it? H was his usual manic self, and full of jokes - unfortunately, none of them were funny.

Throw De Knees in the Washing Machine? Please.

She looks like she's been through several 90 degree boil programs :mysmilie_59:

 

[Wirral70]

We all know that Howard Poo Poo can't Ad Lib to save his life but when trying to fill the increasing amount of dead air time his exchange with Lynn was beyond mind numbing : -

Howard - 'Do you have Dogs?'
Lynn - 'I used to have a little Dog, my daughter has got a Dog, we look after it now and again'
Howard - 'What type of Dog?'
Lynn - 'It's a Shitzhu'
Howard 'Oh right, that's good'
Lynn 'Ha Ha'
Howard 'Ha Ha, Ha'

Mind you, what else can possibly be said about Baggy Polyester Tent Tops (apart from that they actually are Polyester and not silky, soft, smooth, luxurious, in vogue, on trend..........) :mysmilie_59:

 

[Petespants]

.....selling out.

 

[Muttley]

It is an offensive comparison - Gollum's much more handsome than Me Mike!!!!!