Pipa engaged!

[Vienna]

Some things are just meant to be. The very first time I met my late husband I went home and told my parents I`d met the man I was going to marry. My Mother said " don`t be daft girl " and tutted her disapproval of my statement, especially as I was just 16. Two years later I married him and we were married for 32 years before he died.
I reckon the Ancient Greeks had the right idea. They believed the Earth was originally inhabited by 2 headed beings who shared the same heart , some consisted of a male and female halves, some consisted of 2 male halves, some of 2 female halves. These beings angered the Gods so the Gods smote them apart and sent each half to wander the Earth for eternity to search for their kindred soul. That`s where the saying " other half " originates from. I reckon a few of them got it wrong a few times until they eventually found their match and I reckon that still applies today.

Much as I found my other half at a very young age and we had 32 lovely years together before he died, I did eventually settle into life alone with my cat, my job and my friends and family. I can`t say I was miserable or unhappy 24/7 once the worst of the grieving process had passed and never in a million years did I think things would change again. I thought singledom would last for the rest of my life. Then I met my second husband, he too was widowed, he too had met his first wife at a very early age ( he was 15 ) and they too had almost 40 years together so maybe our " other halves " had got their heads together in wherever it is they`ve gone to and they decided that 2 people who`d suffered enough should spend their twilight years in each others company and love and care for each other where our other halves had suddenly left off. We openly talk about our first spouses, they were a huge part of our lives, parents to our children and we loved them but the book of life can consist of several chapters before we finally close our book forever more and perhaps our other halves even engineered it for us, that`s what I like to think anyway.

 

[JW2]

Much as I found my other half at a very young age and we had 32 lovely years together before he died, I did eventually settle into life alone with my cat, my job and my friends and family. I can`t say I was miserable or unhappy 24/7 once the worst of the grieving process had passed and never in a million years did I think things would change again. I thought singledom would last for the rest of my life. Then I met my second husband, he too was widowed, he too had met his first wife at a very early age ( he was 15 ) and they too had almost 40 years together so maybe our " other halves " had got their heads together in wherever it is they`ve gone to and they decided that 2 people who`d suffered enough should spend their twilight years in each others company and love and care for each other where our other halves had suddenly left off. We openly talk about our first spouses, they were a huge part of our lives, parents to our children and we loved them but the book of life can consist of several chapters before we finally close our book forever more and perhaps our other halves even engineered it for us, that`s what I like to think anyway.

Love this!!!

 

[louise66]

I feel the same, and it's an expression I would never use. At the times in my life when I have been single I have always felt perfectly complete and happy alone, with absolutely no need for a partner to have a full and complete life. If a man is part of my life I consider that a bonus, a lucky extra, but it certainly would never be something I had to have to live a happy life. On the other hand, without animals I would be utterly miserable, with or without a human partner.

You're spot on, Scout, about the animals. I was engaged for 13 years (would never marry him, so enough said!) and we bred boxers. My fiance once said to me "you think more of them f***** dogs than you do me...". I replied : "yeah.so?" We split up in 2007, and the dogs (we had three boxers at the time) came with me, apart from the eldest, who he took, as I was moving back with mum, and she didn't have room, unless he couldn't take him. I still have one of them, his dad passed three weeks ago. But the love I get from them is immeasurable and, like you, life would be unbearable without my babies.

 

[May]

Some really poignant posts here ...thank you for sharing ....:mysmilie_12:

 

[SuziQ]

I haven't read the other replies so this may already have been said.

The only issue I have with this situation: stating you have never really found true love before when you have kids that will read that is, I think, rather thoughtless. I would have been really upset had I read that my mum never truly loved my dad and had now found 'her one true love' or vice versa if it was my dad saying it.

Maybe you would think it, but why say it, unless it was a dig at her ex? Even then, this is still available for her children to possibly see or be told about by someone equally thoughtless.

I do wish her every happiness .

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

I haven't read the other replies so this may already have been said.

The only issue I have with this situation: stating you have never really found true love before when you have kids that will read that is, I think, rather thoughtless. I would have been really upset had I read that my mum never truly loved my dad and had now found 'her one true love' or vice versa if it was my dad saying it.



Maybe you would think it, but why say it, unless it was a dig at her ex? Even then, this is still available for her children to possibly see or be told about by someone equally thoughtless.

I do wish her every happiness .

I agree regarding the children, a tad more tact perhaps? I know I'm old fashioned in some ways but I can never understand why someone says they can't commit but still have children together as I can't think of anything which is a bigger commitment than that. I don't mean that they should necessarily be married but it is when the situation seems to be that they are pro marriage but not with that particular partner that I feel it is strange.

Also don't start me on "we can't afford to get married" when what they mean is that they can't afford the trappings of a wedding which is not the same thing at all. Actually getting married costs very little and saying you can't afford it devalues the meaning of marriage.
I think if I was doing it all over again I would like to keep my own place and just "visit" but then I don't have kids nor am I interested in a big party.

 

[Scout]

The only issue I have with this situation: stating you have never really found true love before when you have kids that will read that is, I think, rather thoughtless. I would have been really upset had I read that my mum never truly loved my dad and had now found 'her one true love' or vice versa if it was my dad saying it.

You're not giving kids credit, they're naturally perceptive, and a kid who has parents that don't truly love each other knows it, believe me. In fact, if you're close to your parents they're likely to have told you that the other parent is not the love of their life. I always knew my mother hadn't married the love of her life - I could feel it when I was young and when I was older we talked about it. We still talk about him sometimes, and she's 89 now. It didn't bother me, other than the fact that I'm sorry she wasn't able to be with the right person, because it coloured her whole life.

Nowadays I think kids are so used to their friends and families having multiple marriages and live-in relationships that I doubt the thought that one of your parents had a great love that wasn't your other parent has much impact at all. It's not much different to one of them having been married before, after all, and millions of kids are the product of second, third, etc marriages, where they know the parent has loved someone else other than their parent, possibly more than their parent. It's the way of the world now.

 

[SuziQ]

That's a very cynical opinion Scout although of course I respect it.
Just because it didn't bother you that doesn't mean it wouldn't bother another person.

Believe me when I say that some parents are great at hiding such feelings. I have two very good friends who were devastated when their parents divorced when they were in their twenties and thirties, stating they had never been happy together .

Also, my older two children have several friends with divorced parents so it wasn't an unheard of situation.

Didn't stop them being heartbroken when I split from their father and eventually divorced, however. I have never bad-mouthed their father or the relationship I had with him, and my daughter who is now 23 has thanked me for that.

 

[JW2]

Sometimes people meet someone and think they are in love and then things go wrong and further down the line they find true love with someone else, surely even children albeit when they are older would understand that. I can't think there are many situations when children wouldn't be affected by parents splitting up no matter how amicable or how awful their life was with the parents together it would still be an emotional thing to go through no matter what age you are as in many respects we are all children. It would have devastated me if my parents had split up. I had a miscarriage with my first fiancée a man I thought at the time I truly loved, that child, had it been born would have known that I loved another man much more than I'd have ever loved her father sadly it would have been obvious, that said I don't think I'd have voiced it in front of her or written it on a public forum/blog, I don't think it is something that needed to be said unless, of course, I'm trying to hurt my ex, just a thought.

 

[Scout]

Sorry, but I think you're confusing two issues SuziQ. You were talking about it being bad for a kid to know that one of their parents loved someone else more than their other parent, and that's what I was replying to. A child being upset if its parents split up is a completely different issue, and I don't doubt that even a kid that knows one of its parents had another great love would be upset if its parents split up. They're two different things.

 

[Scout]

The other thing to bear in mind, of course, is that just because you may not have married the great love of your life, it doesn't mean that you don't greatly love the person you have married. Kids are well capable of understanding that.

 

[JW2]

The other thing to bear in mind, of course, is that just because you may not have married the great love of your life, it doesn't mean that you don't greatly love the person you have married. Kids are well capable of understanding that.

Very true!! Sometimes love is overrated!

 

[SuziQ]

However you interpret what I posited I stand by my opinion . I think what pIppa posted was tactless and disregarded her children's feelings.

Just my opinion but I own it and respect yours Scout.

 

[Scout]

I think what pIppa posted was tactless and disregarded her children's feelings. Just my opinion but I own it and respect yours Scout.

Well, it's my opinion that nobody here is in any position to judge as we have no idea what Pipa and her first husband have actually said to their children about their marriage/divorce, and no idea what Pipa has already told them about hubby number two. We also have no idea how they relate to hubby number two, although I'm certain Pipa wouldn't be marrying him if her kids weren't in favour. From the many things she's said about her children she's always struck me as being an excellent Mum who would never disregard their feelings, and I'm sure she's in a far better position to judge what will and won't upset them. I trust her judgement.

 

[tvshopper]

My fiance and I split up in 2007, after 13 years together engaged - maybe explains it, as I wouldn't get married -

Count your blessings. My friend was also engaged 13 years, didn't really want to get married, but was pressured into it by her parents after she had a baby and the marriage lasted all of 18 months!

 

[tvshopper]

I've never rated Pipa as much of a parent when she announced on screen that - and she was laughing when she said this - that she'd forgotten her kids' First birthday as she was 'so busy'. How feckin busy do you have to be Pipa not to know when your baby's birthday is? :taphead: So none of the Grandparents or your partner, or your child minder reminded you that - hey! - it's your kids First Birthday, are you having a party? How about presents?

Now this...doesn't strike me as having much thought about anybody except herself tbh.

 

[Scout]

My father never knew when my birthday was, or my mother's. Pipa's comment depends on the context. I've never forgotten my mother's birthday or let it pass without comment, but there've been times when I've been really busy that time has flown and that I've suddenly realised I was about to miss it - and could easily have forgotten it completely if something or someone hadn't reminded me. Pipa's comment could apply to either such situation. Also, a lot of what these people say is rubbish and they say it for effect or to entertain, so much of it can be taken with a pinch of salt. As you say yourself, how likely is it that she would have been able to forget the birthday and that nobody would have asked her about it or reminded her? Tall tale if you ask me. I've lost count of the number of times one of the presenters has said something outlandish and I've thought "Oh yeah, right, as if". Sometimes I reckon they think their customers came down in the last shower.

 

[Vienna]

Sorry slightly off topic but I watched this and it made me laugh. Hope the link works
http://www.sunnyskyz.com/happy-videos/736/The-Older-Ladies-Anthem-I-LOVE-This-#RIDqfGAXHX3cV5Cg.01

 

[iloveshopping]

I've forgotten my own birthday numerous times!

 

[Autumn]

I've forgotten my own birthday numerous times!

Happy Birthday in case its today lol ....... :mysmilie_59: