Marketing - Translations

[Xerophytic]

Few suggestions

One size - too f*ing big for small sizes
On trend - Last years fashion
Faux - fake
Mock - fake
Designer lining - cheap material on short run bought
Embellishments - cheap additions
Get it while you can - we've got a lot of these to get rid of
Inset pieces - plastic bits
Wipe clean - plastic
Starter - plastic
Designer - plastic
So much space - Too big
In many colours - plastic does
Multi pocketed - our eastern asians cost nothing to put pockets in
Animal print - we can't make any marketing desision for colours
Desiner - cheap
Vegan - even less cost to produce
Statement - no meaning in real life
Bling - no meaning outside of inner city areas
Present Blogs - faux
10% of stock sold - 20 times in stock to shift
90% of stock sold - on sh*t, only 2% sold so far
Phone in callers - Outpatients
Editors Nightime - Outpatients
Presenters - Overpaid
Showcasing - stuff we want to get rid of
Denin friendly - yes plastic blue goes well with blue
Semi glossy = not gossy
Fashion forward - stock we need to shift

Above needs sorting, I'm tired now .. it's now 3am , any takers to take this list forward ??
Xero xx

 

[Akimbo]

:mysmilie_61:

Fab list and how true! A few more cuppas and I'll think of something to add; Sunday brain not awake yet!


Jude xx

 

[ERICS MUM]

gold tone / silver tone = faux
dress down = flat shoes
dress up = big belt
on trend = cheap trashy teenage clothes

 

[sheilaj]

one size-too small for big sizes

 

[barbedwire]

fabrication - cheap nasty plastic - alt. meaning LIE
suitable for your actual eye area - will make your actual eye area swell up horrifically and go red
on 3 easy pays - on 3 easy debts plus £595.78 postage and packing
we haven't and will never change the formula - why change what works so well? - we're about to completely change the formula stuff it full of cheap nasties and hoik the price up you gullible trolls hahahahaha
crisp white shirt - i don't know anyone who owns a crisp white shirt, but it sounds nice so i'll keep saying it...
there's enough cleanser/toner/moisturiser here to last you well into next year - so for £765.98 ml for ml value it works out very economically - they're only sample sizes they just look MAHOOSIVE on the TV screen buahahahaha.
your resident beauty expert with 25 years in the industry - i worked on the Constance Carroll counter in Poundland for 6 months before I came here and now I'm just winging it...

 

[sheepdog]

Today's Special Value - we've got a great deal from the manufacturers but you're not getting that much.

 

[Bea Frugal]

- when this sells out we won't be able to get it back = unpopular and too hard to shift.
- works on the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles = might mask them until washed off.
- edgy design and colour choices = there's a fashion victim born every minute.
- suits all skin tones = the other options sold out so just buy this one.
- go up a size or down a size = as above.

Love this thread.

 

[Lottie]

You can't buy this in the shops = available on just about every market as well as ebay

 

[Maz]

You can't find these in the shops.......the shops have more sense than to want them in the first place!!

 

[Catkins]

one size - fits no one
on trend - will only suit you if you are the size of a pipe cleaner
fashion forward - its expensive, bright coloured tat
will suit anyone - only if you are viewed from at least 700 years away and in a dim light

 

[barbedwire]

We are the only official stockists of this range - apart from the 17 other places online and 100 high street shops that sell it, without p&p
buttery soft leather - will mark and rip very easily and just out of the 30 day money back guarantee
Don't forget your 30 Day No Quibble Money Back Guarantee - that's not really no quibble at all, as you will find out when you get OUR LETTER! buahaha
We never send returns out - if you find a used tampax, lipstick mark, poo stains or tinkle on your lovingly handcrafted in China items IT HASN'T COME FROM US, HONEST GUV.

 

[Lottie]

sheer = I can see your knickers

doesn't cling = hangs onto your bumcrack for dear life without the need for no-nails

 

[barbedwire]

sheer = I can see your knickers

doesn't cling = hangs onto your bumcrack for dear life without the need for no-nails

:mysmilie_17: brill

See also for 'doesn't cling' - will give you camel toe...

 

[star234]

for: "our fashion buyers...." read: the people without qualifications on the job creation scheme, with no experience
for " our resident fashion expert" read: he, who had a shop which failed, and is on a job creation scheme

 

[Lottie]

....See also for 'doesn't cling' - will give you camel toe...

PMSL!!
Finding out about "Camel toe" was my initiation ceremony on here :mysmilie_697:

 

[calico]

I just can't live without it! - I get paid too much

Great thread! lol!

 

[barbedwire]

I've got one of these in every colour - I wouldn't be seen dead with one
Why don't you buy one of these in every colour? - We have bliddy hundreds of these and can't shift them
Perfect if you have a son/daughter who is off to uni - Where he/she will have the wee-wee mercilessly ripped out of them for having something from QVC with them, or said item will be used as a recepticle for storing collection of empty pot noodle cartons in.
we suggest if you're a half size you go up/down a size here - we have no idea how these silly shoes have been sized, so why don't you buy two pairs, try them both on and waste lots of time and money sending them back when they're not right!

 

[madaunty]

I've enjoyed using this for the past two weeks = they gave me it to try, because I was presenting it as a TSV and when I finish here today, it'll be going in a cupboard never to be seen again, until next moving day

 

[barbedwire]

I bought something similar to this on the high street two weeks ago it doesn't have half the functionality of this and I wish I'd waited to buy this now - I'm not an idiot, this product is utter crap, so I went to Comet instead...

 

[silversequin]

"you can go up a size or down a size" Just ****** buy it

"really on trend" Buy the b**st**d thing now!

"as seen in Grazia" Oh for f***s sake buy this f*****g thing