I was reading an article in the paper at work about "skinny shaming" and a lot of the things the journalist wrote rang true with me. You wouldn't say to a friend "you've piled on a few pounds since I last saw you" or you're looking fat. I was a slim child, a slim teenager/young adult and apart from a little blip in my 40's where I did put quite a bit of weight on and I still can't work out how as I didn't think I was doing anything differently - I put it down to age. I embarked on Slimming World and it worked an absolute treat for me and once I'd achieved my target weight, the comments I got from my work mates were more along the lines of "don't take it too far otherwise you'll start to look gaunt". I realised myself when I'd reached my goal weight that I needed to maintain it rather than lose more or put it all back on again and I'm happy to say that for nearly 20 years I've managed to do so. Fairly recently I was out with friends from work - It was a lovely day I put on a lovely outfit and felt great until I met them "You're looking very skinny are you dieting again?" "No" I replied "Are you sure?" was the response. "Yes I'm perfectly sure" Did that shut any of them up? Of course not as the next question was "it looks like you've lost weight" I said I don't weigh myself often but my clothes aren't feeling loose or anything. Still the questioning continued "do you know how much you weigh?" I said last time I weighed myself I was about 8 stone 7 - "7 stone 7 more like she guffawed" I mean it knocked any confidence I had that day, and there was me thinking I looked nice! Hope you don't mind us saying but it's just we worry about you - yeah right ho! Did they comment upon the friend who has clearly put on loads of weight? Of course not, they just complimented her on her dress and when she glumly said "it's about the only thing I could find that fits" the response was "well we can't all be like skinny Minnie over there" Don't worry they do discuss her weight when she's not in earshot but it's not socially acceptable to make remarks like that to the person's face if they're overweight is it?
When I was a skinny teen some of my less skinny mates would say things like "You're so lucky you can eat anything you want, I've only got to look at a doughnut and I put on weight, or I'm so jealous" nothing was ever said in a malicious manner. Nowadays it seems to be the norm that if you're 40+ and slim then there must be something wrong especially if you're not someone who goes to the gym, goes running or diets. If you don't seem to be making an effort then you must be bingeing and purging or chugging down bottles of laxatives. Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with genuine concern, you can talk to somebody discreetly and in private but bellowing out in public is really not on!
When I was a skinny teen some of my less skinny mates would say things like "You're so lucky you can eat anything you want, I've only got to look at a doughnut and I put on weight, or I'm so jealous" nothing was ever said in a malicious manner. Nowadays it seems to be the norm that if you're 40+ and slim then there must be something wrong especially if you're not someone who goes to the gym, goes running or diets. If you don't seem to be making an effort then you must be bingeing and purging or chugging down bottles of laxatives. Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with genuine concern, you can talk to somebody discreetly and in private but bellowing out in public is really not on!
