Table presents

[Letz-be-avenue]

To be honest I don't even remember getting a Christmas stocking let alone anything to fill it.

The strange thing is I don't recall having a stocking either and I was an only child in a family that weren't hard up but not wealthy iknwim. I never even thought about a stocking although I presume my friends may well have had them. I was brought up to open my presents with my parents after breakfast once we were all washed and dressed. I don't recall being envious of any of my schoolmates and what they may have had or taking presents into school to show what I had..seemed simple then. I know its none of my business what people choose to do their money at Christmas but the amount some spend seems ridiculous when they are clearly struggling to afford it all

 

[Patsy]

To be honest I don't even remember getting a Christmas stocking let alone anything to fill it. I remember that I'd wake up to a bolster case full of presents, anything too large to fit in would be underneath the tree. I'd get little bits like a selection box, an annual (remember those?!) felt tip pens but they'd included in the present bag and wrapped up along with the more expensive stuff, there was none of these extra bits just because. I've also heard of people giving their kids a present from Santa. As a parent I was never into all this extra stuff either, there was no opening one present on Christmas Eve, and again I'd wrap up the smaller and the larger presents and give them on Christmas day. We used to buy treats like tins of celebrations, twiglets, cheese footballs etc so there was always treats in the house. Once you start all this nonsense it's only gonna go one way and it's gets more and more silly every year.
OH's family do all the silly stuff, giving each other expensive aftershaves and perfumes and table presents, Christmas Eve boxes for all the kids. God knows what the kids will be like with their own families when they grow up. Bankrupt most likely!!!

Our Christmas stocking was one of our socks so there were only small bits in. We had to get dressed and have breakfast before opening our presents.

 

[ERICS MUM]

Is this the sort of thing you have in mind, Strato?

View attachment 27249

Oh yes, imagine the pleasure of unwrapping that stocking !

 

[Vienna]

Call me Grinch or Scrooge but I think the whole ritual of buying teachers presents is another thing which should be stopped or scaled back. Many families are struggling to pay their bills and provide for their children but they feel obliged to buy teacher gifts, mainly because they don`t want their child or children to be the odd one out.
Yet many teachers simply don`t want them and would prefer simple home made cards or each pupil to place one food item into a box which will then be donated to a food bank. There are 5 teachers in my immediate family, my nephew, his wife, 2 of my nieces and my daughter in law. At the end of the Summer term my DIL had been given bottles of wine she`d never drink, personalised cups and pens which she already had several from previous years, enough chocolates to sink a battleship and a number of other bits and bobs. Don`t get me wrong, she accepted them with good grace but many of the pupils she works with arrive at school without a breakfast in them, have uniforms and shoes which badly need replacing, are in need of a warm Winter coat or come from a family struggling to survive financially. Her heart was telling her the pupils giving her a gift could have benefitted more from the money it cost. The same will happen next week when she finishes for the Christmas holiday.
I`d love to see Head teachers take the lead and send out letters asking parents not to buy teachers gifts but to place a food item, baby food, nappies, sanitary item or toiletry item into a box in reception and then the school donate them on behalf of the whole school and quite possibly many of those items could very well end up back with some of the pupils families via food banks or local charities.

 

[Totally Loopy Lou]

Call me Grinch or Scrooge but I think the whole ritual of buying teachers presents is another thing which should be stopped or scaled back. Many families are struggling to pay their bills and provide for their children but they feel obliged to buy teacher gifts, mainly because they don`t want their child or children to be the odd one out.
Yet many teachers simply don`t want them and would prefer simple home made cards or each pupil to place one food item into a box which will then be donated to a food bank. There are 5 teachers in my immediate family, my nephew, his wife, 2 of my nieces and my daughter in law. At the end of the Summer term my DIL had been given bottles of wine she`d never drink, personalised cups and pens which she already had several from previous years, enough chocolates to sink a battleship and a number of other bits and bobs. Don`t get me wrong, she accepted them with good grace but many of the pupils she works with arrive at school without a breakfast in them, have uniforms and shoes which badly need replacing, are in need of a warm Winter coat or come from a family struggling to survive financially. Her heart was telling her the pupils giving her a gift could have benefitted more from the money it cost. The same will happen next week when she finishes for the Christmas holiday.
I`d love to see Head teachers take the lead and send out letters asking parents not to buy teachers gifts but to place a food item, baby food, nappies, sanitary item or toiletry item into a box in reception and then the school donate them on behalf of the whole school and quite possibly many of those items could very well end up back with some of the pupils families via food banks or local charities.

I’ve heard of a fair few schools sending out a “thing” saying children whose families can afford it, please bring in an item to donate to food bank in lieu of teachers’ gifts.
Which are ridiculous, unnecessary and not wanted by teachers or pupils..

Those who are doing I’ve heard certain better-off pupils donate as much as they can/wish, and it’s all clubbed together to buy a single larger gift for the teacher or towards a staff “do”?

 

[Totally Loopy Lou]

Reading this has reminded me about “table gifts”, not thought about them for decades.

I had two grandmothers, one was Geordie, working class and v hard up but total salt of the Earth. She mainly gave us LOTS of sweets and chocolate at Christmas! And we loved that and her (regardless!)

Meanwhile, my other Grannie was very well to do, brought up by nannies etc and we had very proper, country Christmases with them.

And there were always table gifts!

They would never have been terribly expensive but she put a lot of thought into each person’s them.
Must say they a child/teen it was quite exciting!

She did spoil us grandchildren - sadly unlike her own children…

 

[madaunty]

Our Christmas stocking was one of our socks so there were only small bits in. We had to get dressed and have breakfast before opening our presents.

I now have visions of you all opening your pressies wearing only one sock

 

[lipstickqueen]

I seem to remember using one of my Dad's socks, but a knee high one he had been given in a present, but he didn't wear that style! It had a tangerine / satsuma in the toe wrapped in tissue paper and some sweets including chocolate coins. I left it in front of the fireplace where my gifts were delivered by Santa. We continued that with our children, they had a Christmas stocking but always a tangerine in the toe. and chocolate coins. We have never had Christmas Eve gifts or table presents, but the children had Christmas PJs to wear on Christmas Eve.

 

[Grizelda]

Call me Grinch or Scrooge but I think the whole ritual of buying teachers presents is another thing which should be stopped or scaled back. Many families are struggling to pay their bills and provide for their children but they feel obliged to buy teacher gifts, mainly because they don`t want their child or children to be the odd one out.
Yet many teachers simply don`t want them and would prefer simple home made cards or each pupil to place one food item into a box which will then be donated to a food bank. There are 5 teachers in my immediate family, my nephew, his wife, 2 of my nieces and my daughter in law. At the end of the Summer term my DIL had been given bottles of wine she`d never drink, personalised cups and pens which she already had several from previous years, enough chocolates to sink a battleship and a number of other bits and bobs. Don`t get me wrong, she accepted them with good grace but many of the pupils she works with arrive at school without a breakfast in them, have uniforms and shoes which badly need replacing, are in need of a warm Winter coat or come from a family struggling to survive financially. Her heart was telling her the pupils giving her a gift could have benefitted more from the money it cost. The same will happen next week when she finishes for the Christmas holiday.
I`d love to see Head teachers take the lead and send out letters asking parents not to buy teachers gifts but to place a food item, baby food, nappies, sanitary item or toiletry item into a box in reception and then the school donate them on behalf of the whole school and quite possibly many of those items could very well end up back with some of the pupils families via food banks or local charities.

Don't give teacher's Christmas gifts, or any gifts, come to that. They don't want them. A hand made card is lovely, however.

 

[merryone]

Call me Grinch or Scrooge but I think the whole ritual of buying teachers presents is another thing which should be stopped or scaled back. Many families are struggling to pay their bills and provide for their children but they feel obliged to buy teacher gifts, mainly because they don`t want their child or children to be the odd one out.
Yet many teachers simply don`t want them and would prefer simple home made cards or each pupil to place one food item into a box which will then be donated to a food bank. There are 5 teachers in my immediate family, my nephew, his wife, 2 of my nieces and my daughter in law. At the end of the Summer term my DIL had been given bottles of wine she`d never drink, personalised cups and pens which she already had several from previous years, enough chocolates to sink a battleship and a number of other bits and bobs. Don`t get me wrong, she accepted them with good grace but many of the pupils she works with arrive at school without a breakfast in them, have uniforms and shoes which badly need replacing, are in need of a warm Winter coat or come from a family struggling to survive financially. Her heart was telling her the pupils giving her a gift could have benefitted more from the money it cost. The same will happen next week when she finishes for the Christmas holiday.
I`d love to see Head teachers take the lead and send out letters asking parents not to buy teachers gifts but to place a food item, baby food, nappies, sanitary item or toiletry item into a box in reception and then the school donate them on behalf of the whole school and quite possibly many of those items could very well end up back with some of the pupils families via food banks or local charities.

I completely agree with you. I know it's a long time ago but I don't actually remember buying my kids teacher a present. Secondly what an amazing idea! Give the teacher a candle, a ornament they don't want or a bottle of wine or a box of chocs they can afford to buy themselves if they wanted to or add a little extra to your grocery bill and buy something that will be a game changer for a family who is struggling financially - It's an absolute no brainer!
You really don't have to spend money to say thank you. This may sound harsh, but especially to someone who's simply doing their job, though I do agree with giving the newspaper boy/girl a tip at Christmas.
Whilst I'm here, I think it's about time that the corporates stopped promoting the idea of giving presents to people at Easter time instead of the traditional egg.

 

[Toril]

I used to have a stocking in the morning which always included an annual, presumably to keep me occupied while mum dealt with the turkey. I had one present in the morning and we opened all our presents in the afternoon, after lunch. Dad was the head consultant in a hospital and he always worked on Christmas morning and so the Christmas activities were put on hold until he got back.

The “tradition” was carried on when my son was young ….. a stocking, a present at breakfast and the rest in the afternoon once both of his grans arrived. He said he preferred it like that because Christmas lasted all day, instead of everything being opened minutes after midnight.

Even now, it’s fairly similar although obviously we’re now all adults. I go up to their house, my son cooks the meal (he’s a superb cook) and my contribution is doing the washing up. The difference now is that there are no stockings and we open everything in the afternoon and eat Christmas dinner in the evening.

As a teacher for 44 years, I received numerous gifts at Christmas and at the end of the school year for which I was obviously very grateful, but the ones that meant the most (and which I still have) were the thank letters and cards from the pupils and their parents.

 

[catzrcool]

In my day, teachers were never given Christmas presents, it was never even considered. We had a cracker on the Christmas table, with a cheap hat, rubbish joke and a plastic something or other, but we were happy with it all.

On Christmas morning, my brother and I got up to a stocking each (nothing fancy just one of dad's) and they had a tangerine, chocolate, nuts and a sixpenny bit right down in the toes. We were delighted.

I always got a Judy and Bunty book which were read before we even had our dinner. A lot of my presents were made by my dad, he was a carpenter and once he made me a dolls house which was brilliant and made lots of little furniture. Our presents were never expensive but we loved them all.

MY brother and myself used to sleep in the same bedroom when we were little, and when i was 5 and he was 3 we were so excited we couldn't sleep. We heard Santa on the roof. We were giddy and I nipped into mum and dad's bedroom to tell them, and got told off and sent back to bed. Seemingly Santa left nothing if the kiddies were awake when he came. Yep believed it all.

Santa was the snow shifting on the roof but we believed it really was him. We laugh about it now, but at the time it was wonderful.

Everything was so simple in those days. No mobile phones, tablets, or Xboxes. My parents couldn't have afforded them anyway and neither could my friend's parents. I look back at those days with great fondness.

 

[Grizelda]

In my day, teachers were never given Christmas presents, it was never even considered. We had a cracker on the Christmas table, with a cheap hat, rubbish joke and a plastic something or other, but we were happy with it all.

On Christmas morning, my brother and I got up to a stocking each (nothing fancy just one of dad's) and they had a tangerine, chocolate, nuts and a sixpenny bit right down in the toes. We were delighted.

I always got a Judy and Bunty book which were read before we even had our dinner. A lot of my presents were made by my dad, he was a carpenter and once he made me a dolls house which was brilliant and made lots of little furniture. Our presents were never expensive but we loved them all.

MY brother and myself used to sleep in the same bedroom when we were little, and when i was 5 and he was 3 we were so excited we couldn't sleep. We heard Santa on the roof. We were giddy and I nipped into mum and dad's bedroom to tell them, and got told off and sent back to bed. Seemingly Santa left nothing if the kiddies were awake when he came. Yep believed it all.

Santa was the snow shifting on the roof but we believed it really was him. We laugh about it now, but at the time it was wonderful.

Everything was so simple in those days. No mobile phones, tablets, or Xboxes. My parents couldn't have afforded them anyway and neither could my friend's parents. I look back at those days with great fondness.

Lovely memories, Catz.

 

[maymorganlondon]

I am not against table presents, as such, but you have to view it as part of your overall present budget… and still avoid buying a load of old tut, imo.
Q only talk about it as one of the infinite ways to get us to aspire to some mythical “norm” which has us spending money we don’t have.
In reality, wealthy people stay wealthy because they know how to hang onto their money. When they spend they buy quality. When something gets damaged or broken, they will repair it rather than replace it. They don’t use retail therapy… and if a family as wealthy as the royals just gives joke presents, you know they aren’t splurging at Christmas.
For us mere mortals, some nice Christmas crackers on the table is totally acceptable.

 

[catzrcool]

Lovely memories, Catz.

Yes they are Grizelda. My parents didn't have lots of money but our Christmases were always special.

This is our first Christmas without our mum and it's awful. I keep seeing things and think "that's a mum jumper or that's a lovely perfume mum would like". Then it makes Christmas shopping very sad.

I can't believe that this year there will be nothing to get for my mum or mother in law. It's going to be different this year. Heartbreaking really.

 

[Grizelda]

Yes they are Grizelda. My parents didn't have lots of money but our Christmases were always special.

This is our first Christmas without our mum and it's awful. I keep seeing things and think "that's a mum jumper or that's a lovely perfume mum would like". Then it makes Christmas shopping very sad.

I can't believe that this year there will be nothing to get for my mum or mother in law. It's going to be different this year. Heartbreaking really.

So sorry, Catz. I know how you are feeling. Losing your mum is the saddest day if your life.

 

[Patsy]

I used to have a stocking in the morning which always included an annual, presumably to keep me occupied while mum dealt with the turkey. I had one present in the morning and we opened all our presents in the afternoon, after lunch. Dad was the head consultant in a hospital and he always worked on Christmas morning and so the Christmas activities were put on hold until he got back.

The “tradition” was carried on when my son was young ….. a stocking, a present at breakfast and the rest in the afternoon once both of his grans arrived. He said he preferred it like that because Christmas lasted all day, instead of everything being opened minutes after midnight.

Even now, it’s fairly similar although obviously we’re now all adults. I go up to their house, my son cooks the meal (he’s a superb cook) and my contribution is doing the washing up. The difference now is that there are no stockings and we open everything in the afternoon and eat Christmas dinner in the evening.

As a teacher for 44 years, I received numerous gifts at Christmas and at the end of the school year for which I was obviously very grateful, but the ones that meant the most (and which I still have) were the thank letters and cards from the pupils and their parents.

Hubby and I open our presents on Boxing Day. We spend Christmas Day at our niece's and we take up potatoes par boiled to go in their oven for roasting,goose fat for the spuds. I par boil the carrots and parsnips for roasting with maple syrup. Hubby is doing pulled pork in the slow cooker this year and I'm making the apple sauce. We also take a bottle of champagne and I'll help out in the kitchen. Hubby's brother picks us up and we get a taxi home.

 

[Vienna]

Sorry to hear of your loss Catz. My Mum passed away 3 weeks before Christmas over 30 years ago now. I still miss her. The year she died and just after her funeral my dad found everybody`s Christmas presents in the bottom of her wardrobe and he asked me to wrap them. I cried as I wrapped every gift and I didnt need telling which gift was for which person or grandchild because she`d thought very carefully what to buy everybody and it was obvious who they were for. She loved Christmas and that particular year was so miserable for us all.
She`d have baked hundreds of mince pies for everybody including neighbours and would have cooked enough food to feed an Army. When we were kids she`d send us with a Christmas dinner for elderly neighbours or people she knew would be alone and there`d be a plate of mince pies or even a Christmas cake for them too. In her eyes Christmas was simply for giving, she loved to give and yet when we bought her anything she`d tell us we shouldn`t have and that we should have spent the money on ourselves. She asked for nothing and yet gave everything even when she really couldn`t afford it. She would do without so she could ensure the rest of us lacked for nothing.

 

[Grizelda]

Your mum, a lovely, gracious and generous lady, Vienna.

 

[SnowMoon]

Yes they are Grizelda. My parents didn't have lots of money but our Christmases were always special.

This is our first Christmas without our mum and it's awful. I keep seeing things and think "that's a mum jumper or that's a lovely perfume mum would like". Then it makes Christmas shopping very sad.

I can't believe that this year there will be nothing to get for my mum or mother in law. It's going to be different this year. Heartbreaking really.

I'm in the same boat. First Christmas without Mum. I'm going to put a framed picture on one of my tables. Buy her a lovely bunch of flowers and put them next to it. I was dreading it. But now I feel she would want me to make the best of it. The flowers and photo are a very small way of acknowledging her and including her in my day. She might not be here physically - but she will still be present in my thoughts.