I've been doing an Agatha Christie

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merryone

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Now that I found out that my ex "sister in law" has in fact died and that I've informed the Egyptian guy, who's been very persistent in his messaging and is adamant that he needs to know when she died, how she died and why she died I looking back on the messages I noticed a few red flags. He told me that they met online but met in person when she visited him in Egypt last year. From the snapshot I saw of her life when I visited her flat and learned from her neighbour that she died, I had serious doubts whether she'd have sorted out a passport and travelled alone to Egypt. She has been pretty much reclusive for years. I asked him whether he could send me some pics of her in happy times as I don't have any and he sent me her Facebook profile pic saying that's all he's got on his phone, everything's on his main computer and that's broken! He also mentioned that it was 2 years ago she'd visited and I said oh I thought you'd said last year and he said no I said it was 2021, my math's is bad but I don't make that 2 years ago, and I'm pretty sure in 2021 covid restrictions were still in force. After a lot of digging and help from other contacts I found his FB where there is absolutely no mention of Tracey let alone any pictures. Digging further I stumbled upon some information which pretty much sealed my suspicions. It appears that they met on a FB group for bereaved and troubled people I saw that some years ago Tracey had literally spilled all her troubles there, there is no dialogue between them on that site, however, I understand that their "relationship" has been going on for years via Whatsapp (a private connection) that cannot be seen by friends and family typical place for scammers to do their work. He also told me that they were planning to get married and that he's got papers, but of course they're also on the broken computer. I wonder whether she's been sending him money over the years and that his ulterior motive is money and or a British passport. I was going to inform him if I found out any news regarding her passing. I shan't be doing this now 'cause he's blocked. If anything positive can be said, without his input we'd never found out about her passing. Her old friends are going to have a reunion and drink to her memory. May she R.I.P x
 
To be honest Merryone when I read your first post about your SIL the mention of this guy. My brain screamed scammer, I did not want to say anything whilst you were trying to find out about your SIL.

I watched an Irish documentary about dating apps/Facebook etc, and what you describe above is just the classic way it works. People getting lonely after a partner dies or are just lonely. They want you to move to WhatsApp etc very quickly, love bomb you and make you feel wonderful, then comes the sad stories of ill health etc and asking for money. The documentary said first push to move off the main dating site, delete them and never ever sent money. I know a friend and I chat about this sometimes and I say I would be asking them for money, not the other way around.
 
To be honest Merryone when I read your first post about your SIL the mention of this guy. My brain screamed scammer, I did not want to say anything whilst you were trying to find out about your SIL.

I watched an Irish documentary about dating apps/Facebook etc, and what you describe above is just the classic way it works. People getting lonely after a partner dies or are just lonely. They want you to move to WhatsApp etc very quickly, love bomb you and make you feel wonderful, then comes the sad stories of ill health etc and asking for money. The documentary said first push to move off the main dating site, delete them and never ever sent money. I know a friend and I chat about this sometimes and I say I would be asking them for money, not the other way around.
I've watched umpteen of these documentaries and I really don't know how it look me so long to smell a rat! His game's up, and he will not gain anything more from her misfortune. I can only hope that she's not left him money, that's if she's made a will but chances are he's already rinsed her for everything she had anyway. It's probably good that I didn't twig earlier and block him as at least I was able to find out what had happened and inform the people who really cared about her!
 
I think it is time you blocked him and have no further contact, too many red flags.
Done that already don't you worry - No wonder he was so desperate to get all the nitty gritty, thankfully I wasn't able to give him anything that could lead him to be able to stake a claim on any (more?) money. I am still waiting to hear whether the coroner can give me any information, which I was prepared to pass on to him should it happen. Not now, no way! He can't contact me now anyway. Like I said I'm glad I was quite slow on the uptake so at least I found out and could pass the information on the people who genuinely cared, but even more glad I twigged in the nick of time. Of course we may never find out if her death wasn't suspicious in any way. I know I'm only surmising but I'm pretty sure I'm right, but it deeply un-nerves and saddens me to think that a site that somebody has set up to help people survive their darkest days is infiltrated by unscrupulous scammers from overseas who are looking out for vulnerable English women (and men of course) for their own financial gain and more than likely a passport!
 
My immediate reaction was scammer too. Poor lady!
Loneliness is a terrible thing and can strip away all your good instincts for a wrong-un.
And it's done so gradually you may mot even notice until you've got too derp into it. How cold and heartless it is, and not a moral scruple at all.
I can only hope the scammers come to their senses, or encounter another of their ilk, so they can experience the scam from the other side. They won't like it, I suspect!
 
My immediate reaction was scammer too. Poor lady!
Loneliness is a terrible thing and can strip away all your good instincts for a wrong-un.
And it's done so gradually you may mot even notice until you've got too derp into it. How cold and heartless it is, and not a moral scruple at all.
I can only hope the scammers come to their senses, or encounter another of their ilk, so they can experience the scam from the other side. They won't like it, I suspect!
I wish that she'd reached out to her friends and family instead of finding solace online. No doubt their daily exchanges kept her going, but at what cost? I'm sure he promised her the world as he stealthily bled her dry thus ensuring that she was unable to create any semblance of a life for herself. After all her tragedies she kept in touch via Facebook and the occasional phone call and message. I knew nothing of this guy's existence until he contacted me, and from what I can gather it's the same for everybody else I've spoken to. No mentions, no photographs and for someone who's been in a "relationship" for 6 years , has visited their country and is planning to get married? Normal behaviour? I don't think so! I know people can be private, but this was downright secret and it doesn't take much to realise that she would've been persuaded not to discuss it with anyone.
 
Now that I found out that my ex "sister in law" has in fact died and that I've informed the Egyptian guy, who's been very persistent in his messaging and is adamant that he needs to know when she died, how she died and why she died I looking back on the messages I noticed a few red flags. He told me that they met online but met in person when she visited him in Egypt last year. From the snapshot I saw of her life when I visited her flat and learned from her neighbour that she died, I had serious doubts whether she'd have sorted out a passport and travelled alone to Egypt. She has been pretty much reclusive for years. I asked him whether he could send me some pics of her in happy times as I don't have any and he sent me her Facebook profile pic saying that's all he's got on his phone, everything's on his main computer and that's broken! He also mentioned that it was 2 years ago she'd visited and I said oh I thought you'd said last year and he said no I said it was 2021, my math's is bad but I don't make that 2 years ago, and I'm pretty sure in 2021 covid restrictions were still in force. After a lot of digging and help from other contacts I found his FB where there is absolutely no mention of Tracey let alone any pictures. Digging further I stumbled upon some information which pretty much sealed my suspicions. It appears that they met on a FB group for bereaved and troubled people I saw that some years ago Tracey had literally spilled all her troubles there, there is no dialogue between them on that site, however, I understand that their "relationship" has been going on for years via Whatsapp (a private connection) that cannot be seen by friends and family typical place for scammers to do their work. He also told me that they were planning to get married and that he's got papers, but of course they're also on the broken computer. I wonder whether she's been sending him money over the years and that his ulterior motive is money and or a British passport. I was going to inform him if I found out any news regarding her passing. I shan't be doing this now 'cause he's blocked. If anything positive can be said, without his input we'd never found out about her passing. Her old friends are going to have a reunion and drink to her memory. May she R.I.P x
Sorry for your loss. I must say I thought it all sounded suspect, especially the continued calling,but then again I'm suspicious by nature.
 
Sorry for your loss. I must say I thought it all sounded suspect, especially the continued calling,but then again I'm suspicious by nature.
Me too normally! When the messages began my first thoughts were “$hit, I hope she’s ok “ So I tried calling her, messaging her, contacting her old mates to see if they’d seen or spoken to her recently- he was persistent but at that point I could only see an extremely frantic man desperate to know if she was ok or not and feeling completely powerless to do anything as he was thousands of miles away. I did ask how and when they met out of curiosity and when he told me they’d met online and that she’d recently visited him again I didn’t think much of it. As soon as I saw her place and found out she’d gone, my natural instincts kicked in and it didn’t take Agatha Christie to discover was I was dealing with a wrong un! The clues were there and it was pretty much a text book scam (despite having no actual proof). I didn’t really need to ask him for photographs I knew he didn’t have any- but no harm in making things awkward for him. I don’t know how these b’stards sleep at night!
 
Merryone, you were more worried about your SIL and the signals he was sending almost manic endless, where is she what is happening? Of course, you didn't pick up straight away. The way he was behaving makes me think the poor woman must have sent him money, and he was freaking as it was no longer working. He really didn't give a sh*t about her as a person, just as a money bank. Hoping the evil assh*le has something nasty happen to him.
 
I also forgot to add that when I found his fb page and saw pics of him he appeared to be in his 30s - my SIL would’ve been 60 come September!
If it was the real deal you'd be thinking good for her... but sadly gold diggers and scammers come in all sorts of forms, and preying on lonely older men and women comes easy for the soul-less! Easy pickings and shame to prevent them telling anyone who might actually help put a stop to it.
 
If it was the real deal you'd be thinking good for her... but sadly gold diggers and scammers come in all sorts of forms, and preying on lonely older men and women comes easy for the soul-less! Easy pickings and shame to prevent them telling anyone who might actually help put a stop to it.
I mean you couldn't even make this up but today a colleague of mine who's a 62 year old grandmother who lost her husband a few years ago told me she's got a new boyfriend. He's a musician, in fact he's an upcoming Australian singer/songwriter who's touring the uk/canada and the us at the moment. she showed me pics (from his website) I asked where they met, and yep online. He says he's not gonna try and meet her whilst he's on tour but when it finishes in May he's going to come to Brighton to celebrate her birthday - He's 27 years old. I doubt whether he's aware she exists as it's clearly somebody pretending to be him. She reckons that they're in love with each other...I mean I ****** give up, I really do! I'm sure a 27 year old lad with the world at his feet isn't looking to settle down with a 63 year old woman who works in a supermarket, why don't these people wake up to reality?! Obviously it's not him speaking to her (on a platform called "telegram" which is a dodgy version of Whatsapp) but like I said this guy will be trying to make a success of his career and then I guess he'll want to find a partner and start a family. We were very busy today so I didn't really have time to tell her to watch out but I will be attempting to give her head a good wobble. I'm absolutely flabbergasted by this - The relationship isn't even sustainable 'cause he's based on the other side of the world!
 
I mean you couldn't even make this up but today a colleague of mine who's a 62 year old grandmother who lost her husband a few years ago told me she's got a new boyfriend. He's a musician, in fact he's an upcoming Australian singer/songwriter who's touring the uk/canada and the us at the moment. she showed me pics (from his website) I asked where they met, and yep online. He says he's not gonna try and meet her whilst he's on tour but when it finishes in May he's going to come to Brighton to celebrate her birthday - He's 27 years old. I doubt whether he's aware she exists as it's clearly somebody pretending to be him. She reckons that they're in love with each other...I mean I ****** give up, I really do! I'm sure a 27 year old lad with the world at his feet isn't looking to settle down with a 63 year old woman who works in a supermarket, why don't these people wake up to reality?! Obviously it's not him speaking to her (on a platform called "telegram" which is a dodgy version of Whatsapp) but like I said this guy will be trying to make a success of his career and then I guess he'll want to find a partner and start a family. We were very busy today so I didn't really have time to tell her to watch out but I will be attempting to give her head a good wobble. I'm absolutely flabbergasted by this - The relationship isn't even sustainable 'cause he's based on the other side of the world!
A friend of ours and his wife divorced and she fell for a younger Turkish man on holiday. He came to the UK, they got married and after a few months he said he was going to meet a friend and has never been since.
 
A friend of ours and his wife divorced and she fell for a younger Turkish man on holiday. He came to the UK, they got married and after a few months he said he was going to meet a friend and has never been since.
And who could have seen that coming? Sadly, the motive would just be British citizenship and maybe money. Love? Come on now!
 
There is a show called Catfish, people use other people's IDs to fool people online. The UK version late last year had a woman's daughter contact them. It seems her mother in her mid-sixties was being courted by George Ezra who is in his 20s very successful (I have his albums), but never spoke to him in real life. Yes, all done online texts etc, the mother convinced it was George the daughter said no way. Even after the show investigated and contacted George's management saying no, and he had a girlfriend. The mother was still convinced it was him.

Now someone I know now in her early 50s, met a man in his late 20s on holiday in Turkey. Yes, they got married and he came over to Belfast. He was a DJ in Turkey but ended up training as a chef here, and they are still together 10 years later. She said it cost a lot of money to get him over to the UK, £££s, but he was the one who paid it all.
 
There is a show called Catfish, people use other people's IDs to fool people online. The UK version late last year had a woman's daughter contact them. It seems her mother in her mid-sixties was being courted by George Ezra who is in his 20s very successful (I have his albums), but never spoke to him in real life. Yes, all done online texts etc, the mother convinced it was George the daughter said no way. Even after the show investigated and contacted George's management saying no, and he had a girlfriend. The mother was still convinced it was him.

Now someone I know now in her early 50s, met a man in his late 20s on holiday in Turkey. Yes, they got married and he came over to Belfast. He was a DJ in Turkey but ended up training as a chef here, and they are still together 10 years later. She said it cost a lot of money to get him over to the UK, £££s, but he was the one who paid it all.
It's a shame because the scammers give the genuine ones a bad name... and sadly the scammers do seem to be the majority.
 
If you suspect that someone is not who they say they are on a website, you can do a reverse image search. Invariably “their” photo will have appeared on a lot of sites under different names so they’re clearly a scammer.

I’ve never been on any sites like that, nor would I start chatting to someone on WhatsApp who wasn’t a friend. I only know about the reverse image search thing because it’s often mentioned on the TV programmes where they focus on scammers. I wouldn’t know where to start anyway. 😳
 
I tried to wobble the woman's head today but she was adamant he's for real. She said I spoke to him last night after his gig. I said "You actually spoke to him or did he message you?" , she said " I actually spoke to him" I said was it a video call or an audio call, she said it was audio as he's in the music industry he's under contract not to. I said I really don't like the sound of this and she went on to tell me that she was speaking to someone who was pretending to be him a while ago, and he asked for money but the real one stepped in and told me he was a scammer and that I should block him as lots of people are out there pretending to be him! They're probably working together. All I could say to her is fgs don't send him any money or gift cards and don't be careful what other info you give him as these people can get hold of your bank details if you're not careful - It's fine she said....Lord give me strength!
 

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