The wedding shop

[Brissles]

Ballerina - that is a priceless story ! a total Mumzilla of that there is no doubt !

I think we all have a story to tell about our wedding day.

I mentioned having to do my own catering, but failed to mentioned that I put the 'gateaux' on the top of my mini - which promptly flew off when I drove off around the multi storey ! Then while slicing the cucumber I severely cut my finger and ended up at the doctors having my fingers stitched - 3 hours to go. Then the ignominy of having a puncture on the way home - with no spare wheel. The day ended well

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

Mine was 1971 and I was the second daughter to be married. Mr L and I had very little money but Dad was paying for the reception but on a strict budget so as numbers were the only thing that could be economised on (dress etc same cost if 1 or 100 guests) so the only friends we had there were included in the bridal party and extended family made up all the rest of the 30 guests, most of whom I hardly knew. Sit down meal at the local must have wedding hotel, no evening do (when did that start?).

My grandmother paid for my dress but Mr L and I used all our savings on hired mens wedding suits, 2 bridesmaids dresses, stationery, flowers, cake and wedding cars.

Like you Ballerina I had little say in it all and my mother who I had quite a firey relationship with, fell out with me the week before and refused to come. That was resolved but you could have cut the air with a knife. Put me off weddings for life. Never again.

 

[Brissles]

Well, I think all our anecdotes would be worth reading in a book !!!

Can't see today's generation 'roughing' it as we did - although at the time we didn't realise that we were ! everyone was in the same boat - very little money, and I was glad I had started a bottom drawer years previous to help get me started in married life. We were more intent on getting a home together, not spending money on feeding the 5000. Fancy manor houses for receptions just weren't thought of and certainly not the hen parties abroad. Its only in the last generation that splashy weddings have become the norm because they see slebs having 'the works' they want it too.

 

[Grizelda]

People these days just don`t seem to have standards when it comes to dressing for an occasion. I`ve been to funerals where mourners and family members have turned up dressed as if they`re off for a walk or a trip to the pub. Jeans, jumpers, trainers, no shirts and ties, women dressed in T shirts and leggings etc.
The same with weddings and christenings. At one time you were considered under dressed if you didn`t wear a hat, let alone if you didn`t turn up wearing your best bib and tucker. It used to be the talking point of the local hairdressers ie what you were going wear when your sister/brother/son/daughter/best friend got married and day trips to the shops or local dress makers were arranged well in advance.
Bridesmaid dress colours were a state secret except to immediate female family members, as were floral arrangements and the bride`s dress was hidden under old sheets and lock and key.
In my family my Mum liked nothing better than the excitement of an upcoming wedding or christening. If we`d had a wash house then it would have been the talk of it. Even funerals had to be arranged down to the last detail, all family members inspected before leaving for the Church and that shirts were properly ironed, ties were straight, tights didn`t have any ladders in them, all shoes were cleaned and polished, suits had been dry cleaned and everybody had a clean hanky.
Even the post funeral buffet had a mega inspection before allowing people near it and that the butties were fresh, no curled edges allowed, the urn was well filled with boiling water for tea, the cakes were undressed from their tuppaware containers, the salad and cooked meats were so fresh they squeaked and local butchers or shops reputations could be made or destroyed by the quality of stuff they provided for a good send off.

Those were the days, Vienna.

 

[Ballerina]

Like BettyBoo and everybody else says, you don't need to spend thousands, it's not the wedding day that makes the marriage. We were frankly overwhelmed and embarassed at all the lavish waste of money. They didn't give us a penny to actually live on, which would have been useful. No, it was all about Mum's day and showing off to family and friends. I think that sort of one upmanship started in the 1980s, although my cousin Annette got married in 1976 in Dublin and because my uncle Frank was friends with the then mayor, she had her reception at the mansion house. Other than that, I remember some smashing do's at local pubs and social clubs. Not all went on into the evening either, just service, buffet lunch, bride and groom departed and we all went home about 4pm.

I think my Mother was so OTT because when she and Dad married in 1960, they were skint. They didn't come from money at all and Mum couldn't afford to go back to Sweden (her native land) for the wedding, so it was a fairly small affair but a lot of the Irish crowd came over and it was by all accounts a lovely day. After they married, they were saving for a deposit on a house and lived in a caravan for 4 years. Mum was a nurse at the local psychiatric hospital now closed, where do the patients go now I ask? Then Dad qualified as a pilot and their fortunes changed. Then Mum turned into Hyacinth Bucket!

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

Ah yes the old bottom drawer! Everyone we knew who smoked saved coupons towards a mixer (still have the hand held bit the stand went AWOL yearsago) and other small electrical items and anyone with a car saved us green shield stamps for glasses and crockery.

Wedding lists didn’t exist and you had to be grateful for what you were given, not even allowed to state a preferred colour which mum and I dsagreed over, I didn’t think it was terrible to say “my kitchen is going to be blue or my bathroom is going to be green” so that an aunt could buy a blue washing up bowl instead of some random (and I do mean random) colour but she thought it was a total no no. Unfortunately no lists resulted in half a dozen flowery tea sets to a couple who didn’t drink tea and had modern tastes. Definitely NO money for honeymoon!

 

[Brissles]

LATI ................. and you had to be grateful for what you were given, amen to that ! It was considered rude to give out a list, and ask for money ????? no way jose. Why embarrass people anyway ? Are you a skinflint if you only gave a tenner or do you give 15 quid and starve the family for a week ?

I was unlucky enough to have 3 weddings in 2014 . One wanted money to go to the World Cup in Brazil, one wanted money towards a cinema style tele, and the other was my niece so I had to cough up. As all the parents were life long friends and would no doubt be looking at all the cheques, I gave them all £100 each - grudgingly I might add.

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

The last pressie I had to buy was for a boss who said they didn’t expect anything (right!) but if we liked we could give vouchers for 2 homeware stores which I thought was ok even though he was getting 3 times my salary.

 

[Vienna]

Is anybody following the Channel 4 documentary series The Simpler Life ? It`s also on All4 for catch up.
A group of people of various ages and backgrounds live for 6 months on an isolated Devon farm and with a genuine Amish family who have come here specifically for the experiment.
No mod cons, no electricity, cars, IT, TV, no fast food or takeaways, few clothes and living and working as a community.
All of them had a full medical and psychological evaluation before going to the farm. Some had medical issues such as high blood pressure, stress, depression etc, one young man suffers from ulcerative colitis and burn out amongst a few of them caused by work and lifestyle. Psychologically most of them had issues too.
Anyway its an eye opener when it comes to showing what people value in their lives such as Chanel handbags, chicken nuggets and beer but how those values can change when you have to grow what you eat, live and consider a community not just yourself, work together and live without modern day gadgets.
Already a couple of people have left and I daresay over the coming episodes others will too but it`s well worth a watch.

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

I liked the original 2000 documentary Castaways when a bunch of people went to Tarnasay island to live for a year to be fully self sufficient. It was the programme which brought Ben Fogel to fame and before it was necessary to turn everything into love island.

 

[merryone]

How things change! When I was really young, the well organised among us would start bottom drawers, and as it was the norm not to live together first, a wedding list went around that consisted of stuff like irons and ironing boards, toasters, hand mixers, cutlery etc and you'd write your name beside the item you intended to buy. When it became literally unheard of, people would ask for money, and would provide you with their bank details and sort code so you could transfer the money to them...er sod off! The other thing is holiday vouchers. I told my guests that we didn't want anything and when they said we'd like to give you something I said, well you choose, suprise me! We ended up receiving enough John Lewis vouchers to buy a new computer and a new dinner service, we got a few other things, like a lovely set of champagne flutes, complete with some champers, a large photo frame, and one of my mates made up a beautiful hamper full of cleaning products, because when she asked me what we wanted I told her I'd run out of dishwasher tablets and was low on washing up liquid!

 

[merryone]

I also remember there being some tradition that the bride's family had to pay for the wedding...A bit rubbish for families who have a brood of girls!

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

And no hen do’s. A crowd of girls came to my mum who provided cake and tea and that was the height of it.

I think if you have to miss a family holiday to pay for the attendance at a wedding, outfits and overnight stay because they are always in some bliddy castle 100 miles from home etc and then they ask for money for a honeymoon in some far flung exotic place it sticks on my throat that you are paying for it whilst your own holiday is a week at cinder hill (fireside!).

TBH if you are living together and already have a home then either say buy nothing or a donation to the couples charity of choice.

 

[Brissles]

I think thats the crux of the matter - all couples are now living together today and have the 'necessities' they need. So getting a luxury holiday courtesy of those that have endured spending already, on, as LATI says - travel/accommodation/new clothes appears to be the norm.

Me and hubby were 'courting' for 10 years before getting wed, and were still living at home !!!! ( then, charmingly, he said "we'd better get married 'cos nobody else will have us ! " )

 

[merryone]

Hen nights are horrific affairs these days. I remember the days when it consisted of little more than the bride to be a few of her closest friends having a few drinks at the local pub or even just a girlie night in listening to our favourite records and reminiscing. This would usually occur on the eve of the wedding or the night before that. Stag parties have historically been a bit more "daring", but the hens have taken over the show now! Drunken holidays abroad,or in my home town we get massive gangs of girls staggering around the streets wearing sashes with charming names such as Loz, the blowjob queen & Kezza Bitchtits, and are generally clutching a phallic shaped balloon in one hand and a bottle of booze in the other, then near the back of the line you'll seen one of them bearing the legend "Mother of the bride"! The thought of my own dear mother ever participating in something like this - well not in a million years!

 

[HelS]

Is anybody following the Channel 4 documentary series The Simpler Life ? It`s also on All4 for catch up.
A group of people of various ages and backgrounds live for 6 months on an isolated Devon farm and with a genuine Amish family who have come here specifically for the experiment.
No mod cons, no electricity, cars, IT, TV, no fast food or takeaways, few clothes and living and working as a community.
All of them had a full medical and psychological evaluation before going to the farm. Some had medical issues such as high blood pressure, stress, depression etc, one young man suffers from ulcerative colitis and burn out amongst a few of them caused by work and lifestyle. Psychologically most of them had issues too.
Anyway its an eye opener when it comes to showing what people value in their lives such as Chanel handbags, chicken nuggets and beer but how those values can change when you have to grow what you eat, live and consider a community not just yourself, work together and live without modern day gadgets.
Already a couple of people have left and I daresay over the coming episodes others will too but it`s well worth a watch.

Thanks so much for the heads up about this. Fascinating!

 

[madaunty]

Hen nights are horrific affairs these days. I remember the days when it consisted of little more than the bride to be a few of her closest friends having a few drinks at the local pub or even just a girlie night in listening to our favourite records and reminiscing. This would usually occur on the eve of the wedding or the night before that. Stag parties have historically been a bit more "daring", but the hens have taken over the show now! Drunken holidays abroad,or in my home town we get massive gangs of girls staggering around the streets wearing sashes with charming names such as Loz, the blowjob queen & Kezza Bitchtits, and are generally clutching a phallic shaped balloon in one hand and a bottle of booze in the other, then near the back of the line you'll seen one of them bearing the legend "Mother of the bride"! The thought of my own dear mother ever participating in something like this - well not in a million years!

And don’t forget that moment when you’ve just settled down nicely for a 2 hour train journey and a gaggle of sash wearing women get on shrieking and waving bottles of Prosecco .
At which point I generally turn to Mr MA and tell him “get the cases down, we’re changing carriages.

 

[slinky]

My wedding in 1979... the day that Margaret Thatcher came to power.

Dress from a catalogue (back then it was hell's own job trying to find a frock in a size 18 ! )
Registry Office
Reception at new hubby's cricket club, so didn't cost a thing. ( Dad got everyone playing cards, and the rest had a competition at the dartboard !!!!!)
Did my own catering from Tesco's for around 30
My cake was the top tier (of a normal wedding cake) that my friend cooked
Mum bought the buttonholes, and my corsage.
I had flowers pinned above each ear - (hat decorations bought from Littlewoods)
My firm had a whip round, so the money paid for my wedding ring and a pair of curtains lol !
The chap from work was supposed to take the photographs but fell sick, so I only had 'snaps' to record the day.
No honeymoon, but I did get a puncture on the way to our new home after the reception

Total cost ? less than £75

NEVERTHELESS, all the ladies wore dresses and lovely hats, and all the chaps wore suits. Our marriage lasted 23 years - he died. Everyone said they had a fabulous time, so its not about spending an obscene amount of money just for the sake of photographs - which is what the expense is all about.

How lovely and I’m really sorry for your loss. That sounds like a fabulous wedding to me xxxxx

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

And don’t forget that moment when you’ve just settled down nicely for a 2 hour train journey and a gaggle of sash wearing women get on shrieking and waving bottles of Prosecco .
At which point I generally turn to Mr MA and tell him “get the cases down, we’re changing carriages.

And seem to take over the airport. Even apart from the sashes they have a “uniform” which really shows off the bride and b/ maids figures but there is usually one or two plus MotB who have been squeezed into it . Always feel sorry for these ladies tagging on at the back knowing they look awful and would have been much more comfortable travelling on their normal holiday clothes, but what the bride want the bride gets.