Your QVC Predictions for 2013

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Julius

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I have looked into my crystal ball and predicted what the SBC TSV will be (see separate thread). What are YOUR predictions for QVC in 2013?

Here are some more:

1) Julia Roberts will present an hour in a white Primark furry onesie, Uggly bootees and a Dennis Basso scarf, making her look like a size 14 / 16, oh sorry size 12, chinchilla.

2) Alison Keenan will practise for the World Talkathon Championships.

3) Pippa will turn into a drunken lush and chuck a bottle of gin across the studio.

4) Craig will go on holiday to the Gran Canaria and return looking like he's been rubbed by a giant emery board. Hel will also be unable to walk straight, and talk straight.

5) Alison Young will have a wardrobe malfunction and will look a little lopsided when her shoulder pad pings out! She will shrug it off with a little frog-eyed look and start shrieking about her preeeeemyem products with active ingredients for you that will make a difference to your area.

5) Claire Sutton will make a Freudian slip that reveals her to be a member of Mensa.

6) A former popular figure from the olden days will return.

7) A less popular figure will return also.

8) Jan Springer will dye her hair an unusual colour - like blue - and it will really suit her, or she won't, and that will really suit her too.

9) Suzy Adams will come back wearing highlights in her hair, a patchwork quilted jacket and creole earrings, hyperventillating over the hypercleean process. She will have a gap in her teeth and look slightly uncomfortable whenever the camera looks at her front in in MCU or BCU.

10) Some boring, crafting American old bint will come on and charge £19.99 + P&P for a few cheap stickers and a stencil.

11) Tova will launch a new fragrance, and will change her hairstyle.

12) Jennifer Kirk will be sectioned and dragged off set live on air by men in white coats only she will blind them with her magic dust and go away with the fairies.

13) Michele Hope will come on in a simpering Barbie voice, wearing an 80s style dress. Claire Sutton will present the hour and there will be more friction than Suzy Adams's nylon bedsheeets!

14) Liz Earle will write a book called "Cool as a Cucumber...and soothing Natural Source Vitamin E capsule."

15) There will be an Ojon TSV with a showing of footage of Dennis and Silvana going up the Amazon in a canoe! Again!


.....................TO BE CONTINUED.........
 
Jill Franks will be tempted to chuck it all in to take up a calling as a missionary in Sub-Saharan Africa. Unfortunately she breaks a nail on the way to the airport so decides to donate all her one shoulder tops instead :sun:
 
looooool! I think Jill Franks will become an eco goddess and give up her car. Instead she will commute to work by fax! Or by broomstick!
 
QVC will be pulled up and told they MUST list all the ingredients in the beauty products they sell on their website;
no outrageous claims will be made about anti-aging products;
viewers will be warned that fragrances can cause sensitive skin to react;
iPads will be banned;
P&P will be capped

:mysmilie_483:
 
QUOTE: 13) Michele Hope will come on in a simpering Barbie voice, wearing an 80s style dress.



What does Barbie sound like? I thought she was a doll?
 
QUOTE: 13) Michele Hope will come on in a simpering Barbie voice, wearing an 80s style dress.



What does Barbie sound like? I thought she was a doll?

I only just found out that Barbie and Ken split and she went off with Blaine!! But apparently they're back together now.
 
Anna will get sick of presenting and oust Suzy Dent on Countdown. Suzy will get her own back by demanding a job at Q for the humiliation by Anna's hands and become Super Seller of 2013 and get up JR's nose!
 
16) They'll get Chef Tony on from the USA to sell his knives and all sorts.

17) They ought to do a feature on interior design for holiday homes and kitting them out. Has anyone on here got a holiday home? Would that be of interest to you for ideas?

18) Kirsty Wirsty Allsopp could help with 17) perhaps? Or Phil The Dil Spencer :)


P.S. I'm trying here eek. Oh I fancy a cake, preferable a hot one!
 
16) They'll get Chef Tony on from the USA to sell his knives and all sorts.

17) They ought to do a feature on interior design for holiday homes and kitting them out. Has anyone on here got a holiday home? Would that be of interest to you for ideas?

18) Kirsty Wirsty Allsopp could help with 17) perhaps? Or Phil The Dil Spencer :)


P.S. I'm trying here eek. Oh I fancy a cake, preferable a hot one!
I get the PS bit. Very witty
 
The Elemis girls finally turn up in October for the remaining TSV stock but it has sold out after appearing in last clicks.
 
I can almost certainly predict most of what they serve up this year will be last years offerings.

Just watched 10 minutes of Destination Gems, Charlie saying "if this was out of your reach last time, take advantage of the 4 easy pays" and "back in stock from last August blah, blah, blah". Fancy new program name, same boring overpriced items - don't know why I was expecting anything else really. :yawn:
 
Ali Young will let slip that she's never used anything but Clarins.
Jilly will get her ears pierced just a week before the government announces that ear piercings are really bad for your health so, like fags, earrings for them can no longer be advertised.
 
Why doesn't Jilly have her ears pierced? I wonder. I'm not saying it's wrong. Of course it's her choice but it does seem a bit unusual. She must have to make do with clip-on things from Joan Rivers.
 
Why doesn't Jilly have her ears pierced? I wonder. I'm not saying it's wrong. Of course it's her choice but it does seem a bit unusual. She must have to make do with clip-on things from Joan Rivers.


I have nerve damage and gristle in my lobe. Would love to wear earrings but can't risk it. Have screw backed ones which are lovely and magnetic but can only stand them for a short while.
 

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