my love affair with qvc is over.....

[rainbowdottie]

I've been a viewer from the start and could probably reckon I've spent thousands with them.

I've drastically cut my spending with them since I recieved "The Letter" in about jan last year -but I do still watch and I do still spend every so often.

I have a credit card and really only use it for my qvc purchases,simply bacause its registered with them and have never thought/bothered to change it.

My balance has never really been an issue - but my hubby has never really known what it is.

It has come to light that my hubby wants us to change our mortgage to a better deal and the the bank have requested to see my credit card statements.

My balance is about £400 - which I don't think is too bad - my lovely hubby who is really carefully money obbessed,will look really badly on this.

Today,I have found the corage to tell him what my balance is - and I feel so ashamed.All qvc stuff that invariably ends up on the bay - and a balance with not much to show for it.

I've watched qvc over the years with most enjoyment amongst other more deep reasons I suppose - and I now realise more than ever,than I need to deal with my debt and my qvc obbession.

My qvc addiction has always been the butt of many jokes amongst my family - and I now think I have more of an ddiction than I realise - espcially now,on a more darker side,I realise I feel the need to keep it secret from my lovely hubby,and it could affect things like my mortgage offer and bank accounts.

I feel I can pay off my remaining debt - I'm a huge ebayer and feel like I make some funds to try and resolve this - but my qvc addiction needs to stop.

I love this forum and will continue to join in.I hope I will still be able to watch qvc without being sucked it - and I think I can.

When i completely debt free,I'm determined not to go back to old qvc ways.Hopefully I will still be able to buy the odd tsv of the brands I love the most -and I've got that down to birkenstock and kipling.

:mysmilie_12::mysmilie_12::mysmilie_12:

 

[Georgiebandit]

Your post is very brave and just by posting it do you feel like a weight is off? I bet there are lots of people like yourself who merrily buy on cards and don't realise how much they are spending. Would you go in a shop and just keep spending on kits that you won't use half of and then end up putting it on ebay? I have to admit I have been guilty of this myself and have put loads of stuff on ebay because it just sits in a drawer unused. QVC is very easy to watch and it is easy to fall into just ringing up on a whim for something you just don't need but have a compulsion to buy because it seems good value for money at the time.

 

[Lottie]

Awwww Dottie, £400 is nothing, believe me. I don't think the bank are going to even bat an eyelid at that. I do hope your husband was understanding, you have done a brave thing telling him. Have to say it's rather intrusive of the bank to ask for things like that, especially when they can tell from credit scoring what your personal risk is when it comes to finance.

Good luck with the mortgage offer - don't overstretch yourselves there now will you?

I'm sure you'll have your little debt sorted in no time and try not to worry too much as you seem to be in control of what you are doing.

 

[Beady Belle]

Well done RD on admitting that your spending on QVC is a problem. Although I was never a prolific spender, I did end up buying a lot of things that I didn't really need or end up using, so 2 years ago, I just stopped, and I can honestly say I don't miss it, and realise that I must have saved a fortune. It's very easy to get sucked in by the hype for the latest 'must have', and the thought that you're getting such a bargain with a TSV - well it's only a bargain if you really need it and will use it.

I rarely watch anymore, and the only things I've bought in the last year are the Elemis cleanser/toner in January 2009 and a pair of earrings last September - that's it, and I've probably saved a fortune and not cluttered up my home with a lot of useless 'stuff'. I know there are people who simply can't get to the shops, so for them being able to see things demonstrated before they buy is an advantage, but I haven't not been able to find things I need elsewhere.

 

[Almerinda]

Awwww Dottie, £400 is nothing, believe me. I don't think the bank are going to even bat an eyelid at that. I do hope your husband was understanding, you have done a brave thing telling him. Have to say it's rather intrusive of the bank to ask for things like that, especially when they can tell from credit scoring what your personal risk is when it comes to finance.

Good luck with the mortgage offer - don't overstretch yourselves there now will you?

I'm sure you'll have your little debt sorted in no time and try not to worry too much as you seem to be in control of what you are doing.

I agree! I had to re-read Rainbowdottie's email because I thought that I had misread it and that the amount was 4,000 and not 400!. The bank will probably congratulate you RD!

 

[Almerinda]

Your post is very brave and just by posting it do you feel like a weight is off? I bet there are lots of people like yourself who merrily buy on cards and don't realise how much they are spending. Would you go in a shop and just keep spending on kits that you won't use half of and then end up putting it on ebay? I have to admit I have been guilty of this myself and have put loads of stuff on ebay because it just sits in a drawer unused. QVC is very easy to watch and it is easy to fall into just ringing up on a whim for something you just don't need but have a compulsion to buy because it seems good value for money at the time.

All very true!
I wouldn't dream of buiyng £40's worth of soap and shower gel in a shop but I have spent that much on the same sort of stuff with QVC without even thinking about it. PLUS the p & p!! It's the bliddy credit card thing isn't it? If you have to physically extract money from your purse you think twice about buying, but when it is paid for by credit card you don't really think about it. The other day I spent ages looking at stuff in the Body Shop and walked out without buying a thing even though some of the body creams were half price and I needed some! How daft is that.

 

[donna255]

My credit cards went about 4 or 5 years ago. I used cheque payments as my debit card was Electron which they did not accept back then. Now I have normal visa debit card.

But what it really does is stop you buying for the sake of buying. I have to stop and think, do I have the funds to cover it, do I really want it?

I bought the TSV on monday as I really loved it. But my last purchase before that was 24th December. I look at my online account with QVC and months pass without my buying anything.

Good luck Rainbowdottie, you can do it.

 

[Capirossi]

Rainbowdottie I applaud you! :mysmilie_82: :mysmilie_795:

It's not often that people admit to themselves that they are spending without need and do something about it. I hope it all works out for you. I bought a load of stuff at Christmas, and then nothing until Sunday where I ordered a load of Laura Geller. I only really wanted some new eyeshadows, but ended up ordering 6 items I think. One arrived today, and whilst it is lovely, I thought "I really don't need this". Plus, I happened to be looking at ebay last night and came across the eye rimz for less than half price of QVC, even from the States, and the postage was cheaper!! So I ordered 2 colours and will be sending all my QVC purchases back, cos I just got carried away! It's not that I can't afford them, it's just the fact that I don't need them, and I hate spending for the sake of. You're all right, it is far too easy to buy off QVC. On the rare ocassion I go shopping I usually end up with nothing cos I umm and arr for ages then talk myself out of it because I just don't need it (my new mantra!!) So well done RD, I hope to be joining you in the no more spending on QVC detox programme, maybe watch but don't really listen!! :mysmilie_126:

 

[Love A'kin]

Big hugs sweetie, you are a brave girl. I'm so so sorry that you're upset about this.

On the positive side though my lovely, if you've got a stash to eBay you can probably see off that CC balance in just a few weeks.

What worked for me when I got in a spot of trouble with my cards a couple of years ago was to have an allowance.

I paid an amount into a completely separate account and it paid for all my "me" purchases such as clothes and make up etc - and my social life. If I didn't have the money in there I couldn't buy it. It (finally) taught me to make either /or choices between things instead of trying to have, and do, it all.

I took my card off the QVC site and now I'd have to input the details every time I bought something. That can give you pause as well. Maybe long enough to make you think twice about how much you really want something?

That's what I've been trying to do ever since we all started F.A.R.Ting - just buy the really great things that enhance my life - and not the stuff that just gets dumped in the bottom of the wardrobe.

Chin up chick, I hope you get on top of this soon, but as long as you're not leaving us that's the main thing!

(If you PM me your eBay addy I promise to come and buy stuff! ) xxx

 

[Northernlights]

I can't really explain why I sometimes buy stuff that I don't need...or even want deep down???
That is why I have sent loads back recently...when they arrive and the realisation dawns. I am expecting the letter, but I am also trying not to be tempted.
Some would say "get out more..or get a life" but I work, go out socialising,holidays etc.....so that is not the answer.

Luckily for me I never buy on credit cards and have no debt...I also try to take stuff back to shops if I have not worn things within the 28 days. It's the NOT BUYING THINGS IN THE FIRST PLACE! I need to get a grip of.

Good luck to you Rainbowdottie.

 

[craftybel]

All very true!
I wouldn't dream of buiyng £40's worth of soap and shower gel in a shop but I have spent that much on the same sort of stuff with QVC without even thinking about it. PLUS the p & p!! ......The other day I spent ages looking at stuff in the Body Shop and walked out without buying a thing even though some of the body creams were half price and I needed some! How daft is that.

That is SO true! To be honest, I don't run up credit card debts, but I don't say that in a smug way, as I do have the type of personality which means that it might happen one day. However, what I PERSISTENTLY DO on QVC is buy stuff that I would not buy if I was out shopping! No way would I buy soaps at a ridiculous price in a shop, but somehow allow myself to get drawn in by the crap that I hear. I think I am an intelligent woman, but I can't be-or why do I allow it to happen? I really think that we should restart and maintain the FARTS thread as a matter of urgency, to help ourselves out.

 

[rainbowdottie]

thank you for you kind words of support.

I've just spent 15 mins writing a huge in depth hows and what fors of my life - to just go and accidentally delete it all:mysmilie_73:

The bottom line is my hubby worries about money so much - and I feel so guilty and ashamed that money I/we don't have has all gone on qvc "treats".

My hubby and I have been overdrawn our whole married life - and whilst we have no loans,other credit cards - we never have takeaways,buy each other christmas/birthday presents,have a weekend away - and although £400 may not seem that much money - it would go someway towards these things - as would the £100-£150 I pay each money off my credit card.

I visit daily another mums support website and poured out my heart about I was worried about my hubby's reaction - the bank are asking for back copies of my statements,and I'm so ashamed to say my card at one point was up to about £1200 - and just to offload how guilty and ashamed I was.

And then I thought why not write it here? We share the highs and lows of QVC - and although this may not be a support forum - I thought you lot may understand a qvc addiction more than others I love my time here - and you never know,there may be someone out there who could be in the same situation as me.

I've had a really good chat with my hubby tonight,and feel I/we can pay it off with relative ease.I can use my paypal stash - which is another lesson learnt because I love my paypal account for my ebay purchases.I did admit to him life seeems very boring and dull (again how selfish?!) without any treats or a little bit of what you like - but we've agreed,even £40 a month is lower than what I'm paying off my credit card each month- and should be good enough for a treat once a month.

 

[katyd]

I don't know about anyone else but I do think of this place as a support forum! I regularly refer to the board as "QVC-aholics anonymous". My spending has drastically reduced since I found the site, and I am beginning to feel sick at the site of my make up and skin care stash.

I thought I had cut down massively last year and yet somehow I still managed to spend over £1000 over the 12-months.

I'm quite pleased with myself so far as I haven't bought anything since before christmas, apart from a BE AD that is now finished.

Rainbowdottie you aren't alone in all this, I'd guess there's quite a few people on this site in a similar poisiton who end up feeling sucked in and spending money that would be better spent elsewhere.

 

[silversequin]

Oh RD I would like to think we can support each other on here. Sounds like you have been doing some real soul searching and it also sounds like you have a lovely husband. In the past I spent far, far too much on QVC. I was having a terrible time at work with a bullying manager and coming home to a little package from QVC was a sort of displacement activity\reward for the horrible time I was having. I think shopping is much more complex than the mere getting of "stuff". Since leaving my job and just doing part time bits and bobs and not having very good health I have had to control my spending. I think i discovered this forum at just the right time, it has made me laugh at myself, and really helped me curb my QVC spending. I reckon you will clear that £400 really quickly. My treats for me have got much more realistic, a bunch of flowers from the market, a top from Asda or Sainsburys. I will still keep watching QVC for the laughs and the gossip on here.

 

[Swankypants]

I regard this as more of a community than a forum.

From laughing til my [swanky]pants are damp at some hilarious thread to finding out about some serious issues - I was that far away from getting an Actifry...

Acknowledging you have a problem is the first rung up the ladder out of your troubles. When you're down and alone £400 can feel like £4,000 or £40,000. Learning from this ensures it gets no worse.

Bravo to you and fellow posters.

 

[rainbowdottie]

yes I agree that my shopping addiction is not really about shopping.

I've lots of hurdles and hardship in my life,and I've always thought if I only come out of it all with a shopping addiction - well that not too bad.

I think I'm a really level headed person.I truely live everyday as it were last and to the best ability.If I can help anyone out I will - and i like to shut my front door everynight with a clear head and the feeling that I've done my best today.

And yet,I have kept this secret from my lovely hubby - and its almost become in my mind,like a dirty secret.I know that sounds a bit dramatic - but this spending and credit card,feels like a fly in my ointment that I like to keep nice and clean.

I've tried to justify it to myself so many times in the last year - I don't have manicures,pedicures,facials like my friends - I don't go out,I rarely have a drink,I don't have a hobby that costs me any money (gym,season ticket) I don't smoke.........................and yet I know really deep down,I have suffered with depression with many years (although now control for the last few) and I think all these things make me feel better.again,I'm quite unhappy with my size/weight (14-16) and i feel all this jewellery and make up,will some how make me feel and look better...............................now i coming to terms with why I'm doing it,I'm hoping it will make an easier habit to break.

 

[Olivia]

Dottie, I think a lot of people will be able to relate to what you are saying so thank you for sharing that with us - I hope it will help you to know there are others like you. I used to have a terrible shopping habit, often buying two of things to have a 'spare' or maybe upgrading something before I'd even used the first version! It is a symptom of something , as you say, and I do believe that's the first step to changing things, as others have said. I hope everything turns around now for you .

 

[rainbowdottie]

thank you for all support

I'll still be joining in because I've no intention of leaving myself no treats whatsoever,like joing in this forum

Rosie XX

 

[silversequin]

Dottie you sound so lovely, a really thoughtful, kind person. I can indentify with so much of what you are saying. Since I have been having treatment for the depression I have battled with for much of my life I have felt a lot less in need of buying stuff to validate myself. It's crazy in a way as I worked with drug users for a long time and really understand all the theories of addiction\low self esteem \self medication but did not really apply to it myself. the "hole in the soul" that people have ways of trying to fill.

 

[Slave to Fashion]

As others have said it was very brave of you RD to post your thread. You sound like a really lovely lady and I hope you can pay off you cc very soon.