my love affair with qvc is over.....

[rainbowdottie]

I did go through a stage of not spending (when I had my card up to about £1200,EEKK!!)

I managed to stop spending my asking myself would I really want it/pay that if I saw it in a deptartment store? ...................no,I don't think so!

I don't go to the shops very often - but if I do,I may buy one item for £20 and think I can't possibly spend any more today - but I have been known to buy 2 or 3 things in a day (not often though...but still) with QVC - and with that postage

 

[queenie]

you can do it RD
I went for two months late last year,without buying anything,the thought of a holiday spurred me on...didnt go away in the end but felt good for not buying and falling for the sales patter
I have just posted about my birkenstock obsession that got really silly.loads of pairs I cant possibly wear
I dont tend to have qvc on a lot now,if I dont watch I am not tempted!!

 

[SusieJ]

This thread is very interesting and I sincerely hope that Rainbowdottie manages to overcome her problems, since the replies have been very supportive and informative.

I feel very fortunate in that I work full time and don't have health issues which prevent me from doing so. As I was growing up, my mother always stressed how important it was for a woman to be financially independent (unlike my Gran who was happily married for over 50 years but never even signed a cheque). This is how I've always lived and my DH and I don't even have a joint account. What's his is his and what's mine is mine! We share bills down the middle.

Now I know that this isn't possible for everybody, but as somebody who works with young people, and has 3 teenage daughters, I think that the best practical advice I can ever give them is to work towards being financially independent. I'm not a rabid feminist, BUT I passionately believe that women will always remain 2nd class citizens unless they have access to their own money. Financial education at an early age is vital - along with being honest and blunt regarding the usual consequences of unplanned teenage pregnancies, lack of qualifications etc.

I'm aware that this will probably seem harsh to many of you, but it's not my intention to hurt anybody. It's just that my 'crusade' (sounds pretentious I know) is to ensure that the next generation of young women (including my own DDs) don't find themselves in a financial pickle which then impacts on their health, relationships etc etc. This is even more important these days as many will probably also have student loans to contend with.

To conclude, I remember running up balances on my CC when on maternity leave - not on luxuries but general everyday spending. It took some time to pay them off but it can be done. Rainbowdottie - I'm sure that everything will turn out fine. Even a small amount each month will go towards the balance and with hubby onside, you'll get there in the end. XX

 

[loubylou]

would just like to echo what everyone's said very brave RD to post hope you feel better i have not bought from qvc for AGES just watch now although as debbie flint appears to be on EVERY damn show dont watch much now hugs to you xx

 

[rainbowdottie]

Thank you! X

 

[felinewoman]

Thank you, Rainbow Dottie, for starting this thread and being so honest and brave. I can only reiterate what everyone else has said. I can also relate to the "hole in the soul". I have been an internet shopper for a relatively short time compared to many but I can see how the "thrill" of pressing the button and purchasing something is often the most important thing. Sometimes, when I receive a parcel, I just rip it open and look at the item and think to myself, why did I order this? Perhaps it's all in the chase, researching something and then buying it. It is far too easy, especially with Paypal.

Admittedly sometimes it's very useful being able to buy a present for someone and have it delivered to their house. But in general, I think it's just all to easy to spend "virtual money" if you know what I mean. It is so much harder to part with realy money if you are out shopping. I have got into the habit of using my debit card for everything and being able to ask for cashback is also dangerous.

Like everything, if you can keep it all in perspective and allow yourself a few treats then that's alright.

Sometimes I think half the pleasure is lost when an item can be had too easily - we just don't appreciate things enough these days (beginning to sound like a grumpy old woman now).

Anyway, RD, you are very brave and you have started a thought provoking thread. Admitting to having a problem is often half the battle.

Good luck!

 

[Catkins]

RD you are so brave. If we could I'm sure all of us on ST would have a whip-round for you now and get rid of you £400 but as it is, all we can do is offer you our love and support.

My OH and I are going through a similar situation at the moment. I don't work because of poor health and he has just had his salary cut by a significant amount so we are having to look at some form of debt counselling. I used to spend on QVC like you wouldn't believe as I too found that receiving a package from them used to perk me up for a while as life hasn't been good for us for a few years with one thing and another.

I still watch QVC but I haven't bought anything from them since before Christmas.

Chin up RD we are all here to support you.XXXX

 

[Northernlights]

This thread is very interesting and I sincerely hope that Rainbowdottie manages to overcome her problems, since the replies have been very supportive and informative.

I feel very fortunate in that I work full time and don't have health issues which prevent me from doing so. As I was growing up, my mother always stressed how important it was for a woman to be financially independent (unlike my Gran who was happily married for over 50 years but never even signed a cheque). This is how I've always lived and my DH and I don't even have a joint account. What's his is his and what's mine is mine! We share bills down the middle.

Now I know that this isn't possible for everybody, but as somebody who works with young people, and has 3 teenage daughters, I think that the best practical advice I can ever give them is to work towards being financially independent. I'm not a rabid feminist, BUT I passionately believe that women will always remain 2nd class citizens unless they have access to their own money. Financial education at an early age is vital - along with being honest and blunt regarding the usual consequences of unplanned teenage pregnancies, lack of qualifications etc.

I'm aware that this will probably seem harsh to many of you, but it's not my intention to hurt anybody. It's just that my 'crusade' (sounds pretentious I know) is to ensure that the next generation of young women (including my own DDs) don't find themselves in a financial pickle which then impacts on their health, relationships etc etc. This is even more important these days as many will probably also have student loans to contend with.

To conclude, I remember running up balances on my CC when on maternity leave - not on luxuries but general everyday spending. It took some time to pay them off but it can be done. Rainbowdottie - I'm sure that everything will turn out fine. Even a small amount each month will go towards the balance and with hubby onside, you'll get there in the end. XX

I have a similar set up..only "What's his is mine..and what's mine's my own!":mysmilie_17:

 

[silversequin]

This is such a good thought provoking thread. The whole money management thing is crucial. I was a divorced single mum while still in my 20's with not a clue about money. Am still not very good now and when I have it I am rubbsh about holding on to it. The lure of the treat can be very strong. Continuing with the drug analogy I mentioned earlier, I began to find that the "buzz" of a purchase often was followed by a nasty comedown of guilt, and a feeling of emptiness as in "what the hell did I buy that for? why did it seem so desirable and irresistable" and then the whole cycle would start up again, trying to block out the guilt with the short lasting "high" of another purchase. I really understand how people can get hooked on gambling, Ebay etc especially when no cash physically changes hands.

 

[rainbowdottie]

I think I get on with ebay because I'm wholly resposible for it.I get the buzz of seeing what I can get for my things - and at the end of the day when theres no money in Paypal - that it - its gone.

With my credit card,I know that I'll just use the overdaft from the current account :mysmilie_34: more ashamedly my 88 yr old nan has even given me money,and I've taken it - because she knows "I like to buy my bits and pieces" as she puts it.

 

[donna255]

I live alone now, so my money is my money.
I make sure the rent,electric and gas are all paid for. The cats have their food and litter.

I do shop on ebay, infact will look there first for most things before I would dream of going to the shops. If I can get it cheaper then I am happy!

I have never got into a bidding war over an item, know how much I am willing to go then stop. Sometimes I put things in My Watch and never bid on them, as I talk myself out of them. Sorry sellers if this annoys you.

On Sunday last when I received the 3 easy pay voucher, I worked myself into tizzy looking up and down the QVC website to buy something. Kept going back and looking at more and more things, oh look at this or that see if something grabs you. In the end I turned off the laptop as I was actually stressing myself over a ****** easy pay voucher and the panic to use it:mysmilie_81: Actually I ended up using it on the TSV on Monday which I did really want, and was surprised when it worked.

My thoughts are going back to the 80's things changed alot in people's lives. The you can have it all and have it now on credit suddenly boomed. Move forward 20 years and its still very much a way of life, see it in a magazine, on TV or so and so uses or wears this you have to have it too. Credit cards etc used to be very hard to get and suddenly banks etc were throwing them at everyone. Don't worry about it, just pay the min payment every month. Never let it enter your head that paying the min payment means it will be 20 years before you clear this debt. My first credit card had a really low limit on it £200 which if I spent I cleared every month. Then of course you are offered another one bigger limit etc. Then suddenly you realise that you have no real free money of your own as you have to pay your credit cards which you used to buy pretty things. Sitting adding it up how much I was paying each month compared to say if I had just saved for an item was a wake up call for me. Cards where cut up and paid off. Use cash or debit card and OK you might have to wait to buy whatever so what its only until the end of the month. Will anyone die because you have to wait, no.

Talking of gambling, this is something which does reallly P*SS me off. The online bingo sites every ad break on TV a different company. The same thinking join us online chat have fun play bingo. Same thing really you are stuck at home, quick easy kick and soon its everyday, its not real money as you never seen the cash change hands all done on plastic.

 

[rainbowdottie]

yes donna I agree with you.I was only saying to my hubby the other day how often these bingo type adverts have just exploded onto the screen lately.

As for ebay (and I consider myself a huge ebayer) I do exactly the same when I'm a buyer.I normally watch something for a week and still won't bid on it! I also ever bib in the last 40 seconds - so if i've lost it,I've lost it!!

 

[Laura L'occitane Earle]

Very interesting thread, and well done to RD for starting it and being so honest. I hope you clear that £400 really soon! My weakness is beauty TSVs. Imagine every month you are going for a beauty TSV (which tend to be about £44 inc. P+P) then at the last minute, transfer it to the account w. the £400 debt. Amazingly, in 10 months or under, you will be debt free! Think how great that will feel.

I know too well the shopping to fill a hole addiction. When I was growing up, I had so little self esteem that I really didn't feel worthy of spending money on myself. I was forever buying things and returning them. It was only in my early 30s that I started taking care of myself, wearing nice clothes and liking the person I saw in the mirror. Then, we got sky, and I think to avoid the Iraq war and all the awful things that are going on in the world, I started watching QVC. It just seemed to soothe me at the end of a long day, and it meant I didn't have to think about things that I couldn't change.

Then I started shopping - everything and anything. And getting the parcels was really thrilling. It was only when I hid a parcel from my husband that I realised that my habit was becoming an addiction.

It was only a few months ago that I started getting fed up with QVC, and thankfully found this forum - there is so much truth is the adage "when the student is ready, the teacher appears."

My watching and purchasing has really gone down!

Thank-you to the person who talked about £40 odd for soap - I will never forget that! I nearly got the L'O TSV and am glad that I didn't go for it.

I did splurge on LG on Sunday, but her stuff is so economical and lasts an absolute age.

I too am going to start putting my money aside for something special - a nice holiday maybe, instead on spending it on impulse buys from QVC. Each time I don't get something from QVC that the old me would have gone for, I will add the total to my holiday account.

 

[kitten_with_claws]

Great post Laura L'occitane Earle - I think a lot of people on here can relate to much of what you've written there!
I know a poster on here once wrote that she knew the shopping was getting a bit out of control when it became obvious that the thrill was now more about the buying of the items rather than the actual items themselves!

(I really miss the 'Thanks' button! lol) :mysmilie_687:

 

[LE lover]

I've only just caught up with this thread and RD i think you were very brave to post it. Most of what I was was going to say has already been said.
I have a stockpile of overpriced shower gels, soaps etc that i have got sucked into buying. I am a cynic by nature and yet over the years have still jumped to the phones at the thought of a triple milled soap or shea butter cream or shower gel. The truth is I don't need it and must have wasted thousands over the years.
I've recently gone back to studying and i've had to watch the pennies and apart from some tawaka i haven't bought anything from qvc for a long time. I still have enough of everything to last me a year. The excitement of saving money has now outweighed the excitement of receiving a parcel. I'm sure i'll still buy the odd thing but no where near the amount it used to be.
Good luck RD

 

[VALM]

Very interesting thread, and well done to RD for starting it and being so honest. I hope you clear that £400 really soon! My weakness is beauty TSVs. Imagine every month you are going for a beauty TSV (which tend to be about £44 inc. P+P) then at the last minute, transfer it to the account w. the £400 debt. Amazingly, in 10 months or under, you will be debt free! Think how great that will feel.

That is a brilliant idea LLE.

 

[Pollybelle]

I'd like to say a big thanks to Supercoolwillow and all those that give info on TSVs, bargain prices etc ahead of time. It gives me valuable time to really think whether I want the product and stops me feeling pressured to buy something when the TSV starts :mysmilie_687:

 

[VALM]

I'd like to say a big thanks to Supercoolwillow and all those that give info on TSVs, bargain prices etc ahead of time. It gives me valuable time to really think whether I want the product and stops me feeling pressured to buy something when the TSV starts :mysmilie_687:

Me too, this information has helped me tremendously giving me time to go away and research the prices of items and gain information on the products themselves and their suitability for me. Previously I would have sat there hanging on AY's every word and lusting after the products just because 10 million people had already placed orders. I now know that those 10 million people are not ST.com folks as we're all sitting here farting! Many thanks to you. x

 

[rainbowdottie]

Thank you everyone!

On writing this I had a travelon bag (13 inc postage) L'occitane handcream (£29 inc potage) kipling bag (about £55 I think in 3 easy pay) and LG (£28 I think) all winging its way to me.

I would have kept all of them,and could justify them all - travelon - small to keep in large bag and for holiday (don't have one booked!) L'Occitane - 1 for me,5 for colleagues at christmas (how far away?!) - Kipling,well 3 easy pays - LG always wanting and hankering,looked a good place to start.

I'm must admit its a splurge I don't have to often - I normally limit myself to maybe 2/3 things a month - not in one weeknd but I would have kept all of them.

They've all gone back apart from LE - because that really is an improvement on the old face.

 

[rainbowdottie]

Just wanted to add that knowing what the TSV really does help.I did want the LO tsv - but thinking about it and talking about it - and hearing why ohers didn't want it and "£40 for soap??!!" really does help me.

Obviously not what QVC want to hear