For and against gifts for Teachers.

[pyjama princess]

This is something I was just thinking about today. My father has just entered a smallish nursing home. I was wondering if I should give the staff a token gift. I appreciate that he is paying a substantial amount to stay there but in the short time he has been there the staff have been very good.

They seem to have stacks of biscuits for all the tea breaks so unless it was a special box it would be a bit like taking coal to Newcastle.

I know they use all the hand gel which I think dries your skin so I wondered if a SMALL, but nice, hand lotion to the ladies would be appropriate? If so what about the few male assistants?

I work in 2 care homes owned by the same company (in the office - I could never do the carers job). The biscuits you've seen have probably been bought by the care home as part of the food order for the home for the residents. What they do at my place of work is keep all the gifts and have a sort of raffle. Everything is numbered and when it's your turn you pull out a number and the gift with that number on is yours. We get far too much to be put out for the staff to eat so this is the fairest way of doing it. Although one family member has bought every member of staff a large tin of Celebrations in thanks for looking after her mum who died lately. The lady became very difficult towards the end of her life so the daughter is really gratefully to the staff for continuing to care for her.
You'd have to buy loads of gifts if you buy individual presents and who do you include? As well as the carers there's the kitchen staff, laundry, cleaners, activities to name a few. And some of these may also do caring shifts when needed.

 

[Toril]

I'm a teacher and I agree ......... gifts don't need to be given to us.

Some children at my school also bring in gifts for Easter and at the end of the year, as well as for Christmas which is totally OTT in my opinion. As a teacher, a verbal 'thank you' is all that is needed as well as the delight at watching a child succeed. But the gifts that I remember the most are those that the children made, not the bought ones.

And, as an aside ............ my son went to a private school and I didn't buy gifts for his teachers.

 

[Julius]

I don't have children of my own yet, but I've never bought gifts for teachers, nor do I remember any other children giving them when I went to school.

As a nurse we are very fortunate that some people buy us chocolates to say thank you, but really just the words "thank you" are rewarding enough :happy:

Nurses tend to be nice people who do the job for the sake of making a difference. They probably deserve a lot more than they actually get. I think that any form of "gifting" (yaaaaaaaa! I said "gifting!") is a bit like tipping in a restaurant. It's an entirely discretionary thing 'twixt the gifter and the giftee (there, I've invented two new words now!).
At Eton things work rather differently, I'm afraid. There is an element of expectation and indeed humiliation if the gift isn't up to scratch.

 

[boffy]

Around 20% get assistance, with the poorest (about 5%) having to pay nothing at all, but believe me, there is a lot of difference between a scholar and the rest. The ghastly parents' evenings, the plummy voices, the snooty discussions centred around skiing holidays / Copenhagen. Scholars are ostracised and there is a certain amount of jealousy as scholars receive an additional sacrament in Latin upon induction.

the extra latin is indeed a gift in itself

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

Actually I find the secret Santa thing at work a nightmare. Trying to get a gift under a fiver for people you don't know very well is nigh on impossible. I spend longer looking for idea for this than on other presents.

 

[Julius]

Actually I find the secret Santa thing at work a nightmare. Trying to get a gift under a fiver for people you don't know very well is nigh on impossible. I spend longer looking for idea for this than on other presents.

Oh God I HATE Secret Santa! I actually really can't STAND it! They make it £10 at my workplace! It's so pointless having so buy something for someone you know not and don't particularly care about! Then you have to open a gift with feigned or mock elation / ecstasy (QVC / Jewellery Channel style, exclaiming "Oooh an I love London mug - just what I've always wanted!" I'm more inclined to respect the Eton tradition and say: "What actually MADE you think that this would be suitable for me?" "The Pound Shop have truly excelled themselves. Really you shouldn't have bothered! Truly!"

 

[MinxyKitten]

Nurses tend to be nice people who do the job for the sake of making a difference. They probably deserve a lot more than they actually get. I think that any form of "gifting" (yaaaaaaaa! I said "gifting!") is a bit like tipping in a restaurant. It's an entirely discretionary thing 'twixt the gifter and the giftee (there, I've invented two new words now!).
At Eton things work rather differently, I'm afraid. There is an element of expectation and indeed humiliation if the gift isn't up to scratch.

I agree re the nurses. And, I have to say, teachers certainly don't do it for the money ;-) As Toril said, seeing a child/pupil succeed, or just take an interest, is reward enough.

 

[Silver Fox]

At Eton it's customary to get at least two gifts - one for the House Master and one for the Dame (lady of the house who looks after health and domestic affairs). They are showcased in Chambers. Beaks take them a few days before Christmas. Some families even buy gifts for the Deputy House Master and Senior Boy. The gifts usually consist of something like a lambswool scarf, cufflinks, Italian shoes or a box of fine preserves. Alcohol - usually gin, brandy or fine wines are also appreciated. Chocolates must be dark and non mass-produced. Audrey's Chocolates in Hove used to be de rigeur!

I am sure the Dame would expect ( & in this case deserve) nothing less than a South Sea pearl necklace?!!

 

[lilian]

Sorry but I think this present lark for teachers is wrong. Its their job! Nurses are not allowed to accept personal gifts. Its stated in their code of conduct so why is it not the same for the teaching profession.

 

[Julius]

Sorry but I think this present lark for teachers is wrong. Its their job! Nurses are not allowed to accept personal gifts. Its stated in their code of conduct so why is it not the same for the teaching profession.

Different perks for different lerks.

 

[Bid Up Side Down]

This trend can very easily slip to a 'Competetive Gifting' scenario as the term ends move on throughout time. It can be embarrasing for those mums who can't and teachers alike.

 

[Brissles]

I too spent the 50's at school, and most of the kids were the same as me - living in a council or rented accommodation, a Mum who didn't work (because they just didn't), and a Dad who worked his a....se off putting food on the table and paying the bills (no benefits back then - except something called National Assistance which NOBODY admitted to claiming). So the idea of buying the teacher something, when everyone was struggling to save for Christmas presents, was unheard of !

AND AND AND, WE ALL WALKED OR CYCLED TO SCHOOL BACK THEN AS WELL , SO OBESE CHILDREN JUST DIDN'T EXIST !!!

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

I too spent the 50's at school, and most of the kids were the same as me - living in a council or rented accommodation, a Mum who didn't work (because they just didn't), and a Dad who worked his a....se off putting food on the table and paying the bills (no benefits back then - except something called National Assistance which NOBODY admitted to claiming). So the idea of buying the teacher something, when everyone was struggling to save for Christmas presents, was unheard of !


AND AND AND, WE ALL WALKED OR CYCLED TO SCHOOL BACK THEN AS WELL , SO OBESE CHILDREN JUST DIDN'T EXIST !!!

Even though we did the present thing, we also lived in a council house etc but it was something my mum did, I don't know why. We didn't get sweets or presents of any kind, even the cheapest ones from Woolies, throughout the year but on birthday and Christmas we got 1 really nice present. My gran and unmarried uncle would have made up supplementary ones, eg pram from M& D and doll and clothes from gran and uncle.

Other friends got sweets and colouring books etc quite often but we got nothing until the 2 big days and I know that they saved and saved for those.

 

[Bid Up Side Down]

I too spent the 50's at school, and most of the kids were the same as me - living in a council or rented accommodation, a Mum who didn't work (because they just didn't), and a Dad who worked his a....se off putting food on the table and paying the bills (no benefits back then - except something called National Assistance which NOBODY admitted to claiming). So the idea of buying the teacher something, when everyone was struggling to save for Christmas presents, was unheard of !

AND AND AND, WE ALL WALKED OR CYCLED TO SCHOOL BACK THEN AS WELL , SO OBESE CHILDREN JUST DIDN'T EXIST !!!

Wot no yummy mummys in 4 x 4s driving Giles and Scarlet the 1200 yards to school??

 

[Brissles]

Lol !! its more like 500 yards where I live !!!!

(I live next door to a Scout / Guide Hut and you cant move outside on scouting nights for all the bl......dy cars, dropping off, and then picking up again an hour later. These yummy mummys and new age dads don't give a monkeys at the congestion they cause, 'walking' is not in their vocabulary)

 

[JR's Ego]

Never been a school teacher, never had childen, so maybe I'm not qualified to post on this thread.
However, I'll say...
In my schooling days, if I came to school with a Christmas present for my teacher, I would have been taunted by the other kids "oh look at her! Miss Bonnie Langford with her bouncing ringlets and ribbons, teachers pet" and the parents might have thought 'its a bribe'!!

How did this gift giving start?? Was it an idea from the 4x4 Range Rover zig-zag/double yellow line blockers (only driving 100 yards from home) wag wanna-be's at mums.net?

Silly idea. 6 weeks full paid summer holiday is enough of a gift, I'd say!

 

[Vienna]

Lol !! its more like 500 yards where I live !!!!

(I live next door to a Scout / Guide Hut and you cant move outside on scouting nights for all the bl......dy cars, dropping off, and then picking up again an hour later. These yummy mummys and new age dads don't give a monkeys at the congestion they cause, 'walking' is not in their vocabulary)

We live directly opposite a Primary school and day nursery and believe me it`s a nightmare. People regularly block our drive, some even use our drive to reverse and turn around, people parked in front of the house regularly leave litter behind and I even had one Mum leave her car to collect her child at the school gate and she had her dog with her who did its toilet right in front of my garden wall. Luckily my husband leaves for work long before the school traffic arrives but he sometimes arrives home when the school is finishing for the day and he frequently can`t get into the drive and has to sit in his van waiting for the numpty who`se blocked our drive with her car to return. They don`t even apologise !

 

[JR's Ego]

I was a primary schoolgirl in the time of the 3 day week (1970s) when there were power cuts, and often remember not only walking home alone in the dark from school, but holding a candle at the same time as the streetlights and houses were all cut from power.

I was even curb crawled by a 'funny man' in a car 'do you want a lift love?' I was 7. When I got home and told my Mum, she asked 'Did he look like that guy on the TV News the 'Yorkshire ripper'? I replied.. ummm I don't think so Mum.

It never bothered me at the time. If parents weren't available at the time, I just made my own way home, swinging my satchel. Now I see parents parking outside school ONE hour before school exit time!

 

[Brissles]

We live directly opposite a Primary school and day nursery and believe me it`s a nightmare. People regularly block our drive, some even use our drive to reverse and turn around, people parked in front of the house regularly leave litter behind and I even had one Mum leave her car to collect her child at the school gate and she had her dog with her who did its toilet right in front of my garden wall. Luckily my husband leaves for work long before the school traffic arrives but he sometimes arrives home when the school is finishing for the day and he frequently can`t get into the drive and has to sit in his van waiting for the numpty who`se blocked our drive with her car to return. They don`t even apologise !

And that sadly is typical of today's parents. Rush up to the school to moan at teachers who dare to discipline their offspring, tell you to f... off or use finger signs if you dare to reproach them, and we wonder why today's kids are the way they are.

Ok, I'll add a caveat and say that's very much a sweeping statement I've just made, and I'm doing a great injustice to decent parents, but lets face it, we all know someone who is like I've just described above.

 

[Elphaba]

Reading these posts makes me more relieved my child doesn't go to school.