The big difference here is the word "met"...yes ok of course single older women can meet somebody who's main interest is to get into this country - but not always. Being in a "relationship" with someone you've never met in person, is a different kettle of fish. Funnily enough a friend of mine she's now 64 met a young taxi driver in Egypt where she regularly travels to alone. His wife had abandoned him with 2 young kids and they were living in cramped hovel with his mother, he owned some land though and work had started on building a home for himself and the kids, but he ran out of money. Basically my friend bankrolled him and got the work finished, and for years she'd visit them at least 3 times a year, she'd always bring clothes and toys for the kids and clothes for him to wear. On one occasion he got himself landed in jail and the kids ended up being looked after by their grandmother, she bailed him out financially, then she actually started running out of money and got loans to help him out and eventually it all turned pear shaped when the authorities ended up knocking the house down as it was in breach of planning laws and there was also a dispute in ownership of the land it was built on, then to add insult to injury the wife decided that she wanted the kids back and was successful in her quest. He then started demanding money, and it was then she decided enough's enough and cut all ties with him. Thankfully she managed to build herself back up financially and is living happily without a fella thank you very much - You live and learn, well at least some people do - This went on for about 6 or 7 years, she doesn't laugh about it but she is able to say that she did have some fun, which I guess at least is something!
I've been doing an Agatha Christie
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Of course I will keep everybody posted about my work colleagues situation, the one thing I can say is that I'm glad she's actually talking about him so the more people she tells the more likely it'll be that she gets warned off. The crux will come in a couple of month's time when he is supposedly gonna be coming to Brighton to meet her and celebrate her birthday, she'll either get an excuse or be asked for money to facilitate the trip. She's aware that scammers ask for money, but the longer this carries on and the more she invests herself in this fantasy it is likely that all common sense will go by the wayside. Scammers are so sophisticated these days, it's terrifying they can imitate voices, and use "deepfake" to create what looks like a proper conversation with the person you think you're talking to - The only thing they can't do is appear in person but usually by the time the victim realises this is never gonna happen, it's too late - they've lost everything!
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That is what the scammer will hate. The whole thing being out in the open with the person being scammed talking to friends etc.
maymorganlondon
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You are so right. Any nefarious actor prefers to lurk in the shadows, rather than stand in clear daylight… and friends : the real ones will give you honest feedback.
The problem is, is getting them to believe it might not be all it seems to be - Despite how many people warn her, in this case I reckon she'll only wake up when the demands for money come in, and even then, it's quite possible that it won't be that blatant. Let's say the guy says "I'm so sorry but I can't make it to Brighton, I'm gonna be in Paris, but I'd like you to join me." " I'll pay for your flights/Eurostar and hotel accommodation, I'll send you the ticket"....cue problems with delivery, small amount of tax to be paid, pictures of dodgy documents and links to pay this "small amount" and by this stage, the victim will think what's a couple of quid? Of course it's not gonna be a couple of quid is it?!
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Thinking about what I’ve just said - of course any form of travel documents can be emailed to the recipient and one would have to be extra gullible not to realise this ,or act in the heat of the moment. So perhaps it’ll be a consolation gift such as an item of jewellery that’ll be “sent “ instead - we’ll see. There’s always the vain hope she’ll come to her senses before it’s too late. Fingers crossed!
Is this wrong of me? but the more I think about this situation the more angry I'm getting. Obviously the main reason for this is that my colleague is blatantly being taken for a mug and could stand to lose a lot of money if she's not careful. Double standards and all that as older man/younger woman is more commonplace but as a 60 year old woman the idea of having a romantic a relationship with a 27 year old lad I find quite repellent. My kids older than that and so are hers, her son is over 40 and her daughter isn't far behind, however, to me it would feel like child molestation. Don't get me wrong I'd be most flattered by a compliment from a fella who's years younger than me, and I'd be happy enough to form a friendship but that's as far as it goes. It's good to see her with a spring in her step, but her stupidity is also wanting me to bang my head and hers on a brick wall. Unfortunately she's giving off this air of smugness too...."Ooh he's in the music industry", "he loves me" and when it all comes crashing down (and it will) she'll be out of pocket and look like a proper blinking idiot. Clearly the right thing for her to do would be to block him but if she can't do that she really needs to ask questions - Look there's a lot of romance scams going on, I'm sorry to say this but I won't be convinced that I'm speaking to the real McCoy until we meet in person. Please don't ask me to send you any money, gift cards, donate to a charitable cause, invest in bitcoin, pay tax on a package because I'm not going to do that - If your love for me is true, then I'm sure this won't be a problem!
I ended up almost falling out with the stupid mare today. She said "I'm so excited, my fan card will be coming soon" I said what's a fan card? She told me that she's now talking with his manager and it's something that fans can buy so they can have meet and greets at concerts and get exclusive deals on tickets/merchandise etc. I said how much did that set you back? She said she's getting hers free - I said I really don't like the sound of this....and she said don't worry I know what I'm doing. She said why can't anyone be happy for me? I said we'd love to be but it's obvious to everybody apart from you that you're being scammed, ok you might not have lost any money yet but you'll be asked for some soon or get tricked into compromising your bank details ...just be careful. Sadly I think she's gonna have to learn the hard way - silly silly woman! To be honest, I'm done with her stupidity and if she mentions him again I'm gonna change the subject!
pyjama princess
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Could you contact his official fan club to find out if there is such a thing as a 'fan card'? Mention that you're worried a friend is being scammed. They might know of this scam and give the real facts about things like 'fan cards'.
I googled "fan cards" and the first thing I saw about them was the word "scam". Yes they are a thing and can be legit, but like I say widely used in scams, especially impersonation scams. This artiste is on the edge of fame, known more in his home country, Australia and has recently started touring in other countries. Unlikely he'd have an official fan club, let alone be selling fan cards, anyway most newbies in the industry start out on the likes of Tik Tok, and spread the word via other social media platform such as Facebook and Instagram. Yes, It did cross my mind to message him or his people but I decided against it as a.) I can't be sure that I'm contacting the legitimate people b.) It would make my colleague angry and c.) I very much doubt she'd believe it anyway - even if it was spelled out in black and white! To be honest, I'm done with the whole thing...I've given her the best advice I possibly can, and so have others and if she chooses to disregard it, then sadly she'll have to learn the hard way! I think if she blatantly asks her for money, she'll come to her senses but I have a feeling it'll be more subtle than that.... a package that needs tax paid on postage and a link in order to pay a nominal fee, maybe it'll be the "fan card"...I've warned her about this sort of thing too. I've decided next time I hear her harping on about him and their romance, then I shall be changing the subject - I'm done I'm afraid!
